Where do you hide your toys?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by clitter, Apr 2, 2012.

  1. clitter

    clitter New Member

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    I just ordered my first vibrator/dildo and now I'm wondering where am I going to hide it so my kids don't find it. How do you keep your toys hidden?
     
  2. Barbwire

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    Mine are stashed in a gym bag in my closet. UNFORTUNATELY, just recently, one of my cats has learned to slide the door open and now, he sleeps on my bag of toys all the time. That wouldn't really be an issue except, the other day I closed the door not knowing the cat was in there. (I still don't understand why the cat can only open the sliding door from the outside and not the inside.)

    It was after my teen-aged son got home from school that I noticed the cat was missing. Fearing it had snuck outside, I asked him to help me find it.

    I checked the basement and my son checked upstairs and the loft. I went back upstairs and was in the kitchen when my son came into the room holding the cat. He said, "I found him in your closet sleeping on...um....your bag."

    After he went into his room, I bolted upstairs to my closet and peered in to see my gym bag sitting there UNZIPPED like a motherfucker! In plain view was the biggest rubber dong I own. There was no way my son could have picked the cat up off the bag without seeing the thing.

    :eek

    I suppose I should find another spot to hide my loot but, the cat's already out of the bag as it were so there's really no point in it.

     
    Noobie35 likes this.
  3. clitter

    clitter New Member

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    OMG - that's my biggest fear! I still have one teenager still living at home. I like the gym bag idea, but will be sure to keep it zipped and tucked away in the closet because I too have a cat! I can't imagine how you must feel :0

    This is why I've never ever had a toy before. While raising 3 daughters, I was too scared to have anything found. Thanks for sharing :)
     
  4. jonny718

    jonny718 New Member

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    I've got an old toiletry bag I keep ours in at my place - leave it on the top shelf of the wardrobe. It's also very handy when we head off somewhere: just slip the bag in to your luggage and you can take it out whenever and wherever you like without anyone suspecting - well apart, from your excitable other half when they realise what's coming their way!
    My gf uses an old cosmetic pouch at her place, stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer!
     
  5. 12barblues

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    thank you....i really needed a laugh today...while understanding how serious that situation is.....it's still reeeally funny....:lol...btw..there is no safe hiding place..kids will find it unless its under lock and key...i knew my dad had a porn collection when i was a teen..and it was only a matter of time before i found it....kids are sneaky lil bastards..lol
     
  6. OverSinged

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    I don't think my mom ever bothered really trying to hide hers, but I never had to dig too deep to find anything, I had the internet and I knew the porn movies where in my stepdad's cd case. Though it's hilarious, at my grandparents, my grandpa had a little shelf built into the hall closet, never bothered to look in it, but when I did... phew, basically two stacks of porn magazines (albeit old ones) stacked close to 5 feet high. Of course, by the time I noticed it, I still had the internet and mom had gotten a movie for me. That was probably to keep me out of Mike's movies, she knew I got into them, even if I didn't leave evidence lol
     
  7. spastik2575

    spastik2575 New Member

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    When my ex and I lived with my folks for a bit, we bought a small fireproof safe and kept them in a shaving bag in the safe. That's where we kept our important documents, as far as they knew. Continued to use it when I bought my house and we had a son.

    OTOH, my friends mom hid hers in the night stand, or just left them standingon the dresser. We walked in on her once, she was able to cover up, but there was no mistaking that buzz. I turn and left the room, he acted like it was nothing and asked if he could go somewhere.
     
  8. Dragon_Fire

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    I have a case that came with a hairdryer. It has a combination lock on it and is the perfect size for storing my small toy collection. It's always been in full view next to my bed and my 11 year old daughter has never expressed any curiousity about it - YET.
     
  9. Meee

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    Speaking as a daughter, I think a daughter wouldn't be too traumatized. Also, speaking as a daughter, I think a mother's room isn't every really off limits. She's probably always popping in there for something, yes? Hide it somewhere boring, like in a file drawer with your old tax forms.



    And Barbwire may as well have her toys on a convenient rack over her bed from now on. Maybe it can be a construction project for her son.
     
  10. Godiva

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    I remember finding one when i was young and if they gave a better excuse i wouldn't have known better, but they said it was a massager, and then i knew and put that thing back in it's case! Hiding in a drawer in a wall unit isn't smart...
    I think a small locked tin under a bed or at the back of a undie drawer is best. Because if someone is going through your undie drawer- they are ASKING for trouble. Why in heck would anyone ever look there? You don't borrow peoples undies. Just make sure you never keep anything else other than undies, because if you put your thermometre there and ask your kid to get it then they could snoop while they are there.
    I personally wish i never stumbled upon my mothers one. Seriously. I think parents should definitely hide it well!
    Barbwire- that was funny, especially the pun!
     
  11. Texas_Red

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    I just keep mine in the closet. But then I don't have kids, and my friends have no reason to go in there, so no worries for me really.
     
  12. luvitdoggystyle

    luvitdoggystyle New Member

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    A few years back, a friend of mine had a divorcee with kids as a neighbor. One day when she wasn't home, the kids were in the front yard playing catch with a large pink dildo.
     
  13. 12barblues

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    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!:lol
     
  14. Barbwire

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  15. KimRN

    KimRN New Member

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    I have mine hid in a box my blow dryer came in when I bought it. In the box are the blow dryer attachments and a couple of Walmart baggies wadded up along with my "BOB" (boyfriend on batteries) and my sexy pink see thru lingirie I'm wearing in some of my pics I have posted here on this website. That blowdryer box is under my bathroom sink all the way in the back behind everything. No one could care less about a box that's been under there for a couple years.

    Another good hiding place is the inside pocket of an old ugly outdated coat I haven't worn in years.


    I hope this helps. :)
    Kim
     
  16. clitter

    clitter New Member

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    Thanks for all the feedback! The stories are awesome :D

    Reminded me of a book my mom gave me when I got married called 'Woman's Body, An Owners Manual'. It covers everything from puberty to sex to pregnancy, etc. Has drawings of different sexual positions and stuff. Well, my oldest daughter (25) told me she once found the book in my night stand and took it to a sleepover when she was 12 or 13. Those girls got an education that night!
     
  17. Splendid_Thoughts

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    I'm lucky that I don't need to hide mine...the joys of being single. :)

    I have to say I never found anything of my parents' (THANK GOODNESS) but we were not really snooping type of kids. :) Either that or they hid it well...
     
  18. 12barblues

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    how funny...i did the same thing with my dads hustler magagzines...Larry Flynt, the great educator......moulding our young minds.....:lol
     
  19. Barbwire

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    HA! Thanks for reminding me of the first time I bought "porn".

    When I was in my early 20's I found the woman's owners manual along with "Man's Body, An Owners Manual" at a yard sale. While thumbing through the books and seeing the drawings therein, I felt a touch horny.

    Looking left and right to make sure nobody saw me, I grabbed them both, payed for them as quickly and discreetly as possible and jumped in my car.

    As I drove home with the books, I remember feeling like I was quite the dirty girl, like I'd done something downright filthy. (Hard to believe that I turned into such a perv in my later life.)

    I remember using the books for masturbation fodder for many a session but, I don't remember actually learning anything from them besides the fact that 1% of the female population thinks about fucking animals while they jill-off.

    Anywho, thanks for making me take a trip down memory lane, Clitter.
     
  20. OverSinged

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    Later I remembered that one time I had to go somewhere, can't remember where, but I had to take some junk with me. Mom gave let me use her suitcase and while gettin rid of all her junk, she'd left one of her toys in it. I told her she missed something and she put it somewhere. Not really any yells of anguish or anything, but I was very glad I'd went through the thing first. I can't remember what I needed it for, but I know I wouldn't have wanted to find it there after I got to my destination.