When people are just unkind. : (

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by fireontheside, Apr 13, 2013.

  1. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I keep a blog, and in it I talk about how I don't have a job. Well, there's this dude, and I don't really like him that much, and he comments on my blog quite often. I don't know why I haven't banned him yet.

    Anyway, he said something very hurtful to me the other day. He said, "How does a woman in her late twenties with no friends, no significant other, no social life and no obligations have trouble looking for a job?"

    It was just rude and unkind. I don't need to be reminded of my lack of relationships!

    Anyway I needed to vent.
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Action: ban him then!
    Not true, you are developing relationships even if they are virtual it is still connecting with other folks.
    The physical will follow in due course if you look forwards, enjoy the present and not look back.
    I understand perfectly the meanings of your handle, avatar and signature.
     
  3. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    Actually, it's rather ironic because my handle/signature are from a song about being "the other woman," something I obviously have no experience with whatsoever. Nothing more to it than I just really like the song and pictures of fire. lol.

    I do have a few friends on tumblr, but it is hard to count online friends as real friends because supposedly they go away when you turn off your computer. They can't come here and hang out with me the way they could if we were real life friends.

    I had an online friend just abandon me. I wanted to meet her irl and she wanted to meet me and then it never happened... : (
     
  4. Essene

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    Well there certainly was a more pragmatic way to state the obvious.

    I'd just delete him/block him; but I do have a soft spot for comments that are usually perceived to be rude.
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Maybe but still it is no co-incidence why you like and chose those.
    I believe that almost everyone who keeps an avatar it is somewhat a symbolic representation of or is saying something of their personality and psyche.
    Essene exempt of course as he changes his more frequently than underwear but even that might be significant.
    Actually I remember that a few years ago a whole thread dedicated to this very topic.
    Going to see if I can find it.

    Got it! http://www.sexualforums.com/1583-why-did-you-choose-your.html
     
    #5 lbushwalker, Apr 14, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2013
  6. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I'm sure that you and him would be good friends.
     
  7. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    Well, I guess I can be fiery. lol. No wait, I KNOW I can be. :)
     
  8. mrcock

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    from a one perspective, everyone has a right to express their opinion. actually his, had sense. however, from another point, that indeed looks, like an attempt of a legal attack

    thing is, what is your opinion about that? if it is your blog, if you have it for your fun, etc, do you need him posting there? from the other side, if you wanna always have a fair critic, that seems just like that

    just ma opinion
     
  9. OverSinged

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    Well, I get through any and all insults by being thick-skinned and dishing it out harder than they do xD

    Also, it's the internet, which means anything with tits is going to attract idiots *shrug*
     
  10. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I'm not just "something with tits," I'm a person with feelings.
     
  11. lbushwalker

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    OS was just saying what weirdos the Internet can bring in and not what he thinks of you at all!
     
  12. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I know, but I don't like the expression.
     
  13. lbushwalker

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    You gotta understand that folks from different backgrounds speak differently.
    To OS tits is just as acceptable a word to use as mammaries or breasts is to others ;)
     
  14. Essene

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    Probably not. I know a lot of people who really dislike being around people who are similar to themselves.
     
  15. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    No, the two of you could have a great time talking about how "obvious" it is that nobody likes me. You'd have a great time. :eyes
     
  16. kipro150

    kipro150 Member

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    In real life, I treat others how they treat me. I'll be courteous when I first meet people to give them the benefit of the doubt but if they treat me in a negative way I'll usually cut all ties and never interact with them. I'm old enough now that there's not really a time or place to treat someone else poorly in retaliation like I did in grade school/high school. Some say that's petty but it helped me keep any bullies away since I was quiet but would fight back if anyone fucked with me

    I don't even bother with internet people that bug me since its pointless
     
  17. MordsithLove

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    That's it, it's just the Internet. And most people wouldn't say half the things the say to your face as of what is said in text...that goes even between couples argueing through messages...like I would say some very harsh things to my SO in a text, but I wouldn't necessarily say them to his face...

    Now, in reality of things rude people irk me, and I just act passive to their heat. It's not my problem their sour, or having a bad day, I'm not going to take it personal. For instance a old man was yelling at me at a red light because I had tail gated him prior (he actually brake checked me), and I sped off around him and the traffic. My windows were up and had my music up loud, I couldn't hear a word he said...but I can read lips, and he called me some ver nasty things, (whore, bitch, cunt, and worse nigger). I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders...I could careless of his rant. On another note, he had medical issues...simply because his head was patched with bandages...he's an old man, so why fuss with a pointless rant?

    Basically it's up to you how you take in others negative response or harsh and honest criticism. You've got to leave your mind open to either learn from it or simply just "keep calm, and carry on".

    :)
     
  18. Essene

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    I don't like picking on people who are already down (unless they deserve it). If I do revel in another's misfortune I usually do so alone. I've never liked the gang mentality. Back when I used to get into fights, I wouldn't ever want a friend to help. If I picked a fight with the wrong guy I deserve it. If the wrong guy picked a fight with me, he deserved it. If neither one of us won. We'd pick up our personal effects and probably have a beer.

    I think you need a tougher skin if:

    1. You're going to continue to have the fellow as a reader and contribute to your blog

    and

    2. If you're going to live in this world and expect every person to be nice. It'd be great if that was the case; but it isn't.

    Otherwise it seems like you either think he'll change or (for whatever reason) you like it or think you deserve it (call it psychobabble if you will).

    People who are too nice, need to be coddled, hurt too easily, or any mixture of the before usually wind up being a "door mat" for someone. If you're not okay with that happening, as it seems like you're not, evolve a stiffer upper lip. Learn to get over it or retaliate. Words are just words and you should really know how to get over them by now. You give them power and dominion over your life. You can complain for years about other people needing to change. But that's often too exhausting. I'd strongly suggest changing yourself or just living with it with a "que sera, sera" attitude.
     
    #18 Essene, Apr 14, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2013
  19. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    No, I'll probably just end up banning his annoying, disrespectful arse, but thanks for your thoughts. : )

    Thanks, Essene.

    To everyone else...
    The actual POINT: I don't know why people think it's okay to say, "You have no friends. You have no boyfriend/girlfriend. You have no social life." It's unacceptable.


    Another person posted anonymously saying "You're living alone in an apartment with no friends, no significant other, and no life." So it's a common problem. Most of those comments, I screen or delete entirely. I screen most because I like to save them. I think it's definitely motivation to fix my life. If people say these horrible things, they'll feel that much more stupid when my life changes and the horrible stuff they said isn't true anymore.
     
    #19 fireontheside, Apr 14, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2013
  20. OverSinged

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    Well... I have few friends. I have no girlfriend. I have no social life.

    So I suppose they wouldn't be too far off the truth... Oh well, fuck them.