I can't deal with the fact that i didnt have normal youth like most of the students. Sex, party, travelling. I alived almost nothing until now. I had 6 one night stands and last month one fuckfriend for a month, but i dont see the point of meeting her anymore, because she will be always over me. I dont see point of dating any other girls (i could), because they will be always over me, because of those normal things they alived in the most importand years of life (16-26). I am now 29 and have alived only so much like an average 17 year old maybe. I can't be in company of young people, because all i think of are those things. How they enjoy their youth and i didnt. And there is nothing i can't do now. All those cute girls on street have regular sex and get orgasms and do basic things we see in porn. How can i be on their level? There is no way out... they enjoyed youth, i didnt...game over I dont have motivation for anything, because of my unequality, which will be there forever. How can i be equal to a girl that had regular sex since 18 and i had it only maybe 20 times? She will be always over me because of that, because she did it in the prime years of the life. Some have it 5 times a day sometime in their youth. Sex in the present and future doesnt mean nothing, if others already won the game of life (this means enjoying youth like media tells you).