So, let's put ours heads together and think, that is the difference between SEX and a HAM SANDWICH? Let me go first... Watching porn doesn't make you want to eat a ham sandwich. Making a ham sandwich can take as long as 5 minutes. The white stuff on your chin after eating a ham sandwich is mayonaise. If I offer a ham sandwich to my hunky neighbor, my husband doesn't mind. I'd get some dirty looks if I ate a ham sandwich in church, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go to hell for it. Nobody shudders when they think of their grandparents eating ham sandwiches. Old men don't need little blue pills to make ham sandwiches. If I was eating a ham sandwich in the pitch black and my son came in the room and turned on the lights only I would be blinded. It's unusual for a boy from Arkansas to eat a ham sandwich with his sister. No one thinks you're perverted if you share a ham sandwich with your dog. No one think you'e a loser if you have to pay for a ham sandwich. I never pretended to sleep because I wasn't in the mood for a ham sandwich. No matter how slowly I eat, I always finish a ham sandwich before my husband. There is no commandment that says, "Thou shalt not eat thine neighbor's ham sandwich." When you eat a ham sandwich, you generally only move your mouth and don't normally make a loud pronouncement when you're finished. My husband doesn't get mad if I want a ham sandwich I eat one before he comes home and then decline the one he offers saying, "No thanks, I'm full." And last but not least...... I don't fantasize about sharing a ham sanwich with Brad Pitt and having George Clooney walk in the room and catch us, then insist on having some too.