[Ask a Guy] What would you do?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Aspen, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. Aspen

    Aspen New Member

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    okay so I'm being deployed to Afghanistan in a little over a week and my boyfriend says he wants to stay together. The only problem is that the particular place I'm going has shitty phone reception so calls get dropped a lot after 2 seconds so they are inconvenient, and our internet is a joke, the only thing that's a reliable way to communicate is letters and even that is messed up (the letters are often out of order and take forever to get). So my question is if you were dating someone and they had to leave for 8 or so months and you couldn't really talk to them over that time would you actually want to stay with them?
     
  2. dukefan

    dukefan New Member

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    Guess it all depends on if this is really a relationship you see lasting or not. I live right next to Fort Bragg so most of our friends deal with deployments, and although you hear horror stories of cheating and such, they have all made it through. The s.o. has to understand communication will be sketchy at best and when you are with a military person its just part of the relationship
     
  3. redlacesexblog

    redlacesexblog New Member

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    not sure how old you are, how serious you are about him, or what your plans are for your life.

    honestly, the very fact you're asking about it suggests you don't want something serious. people ready for marriage don't ask those questions. i'm not judging you--at all. just understand that if you truly loved him, yes, you'd wait.

    so, next question. what do you want to do with your life? are you ready to settle down, or is there still fun to be had with dating. again, no wrong answer. just know yourself.

    what you don't want to do is lead this guy on. sounds like he's really into you. and, i know A LOT of women who've cheated on those guys after they've left. it destroys them. truly.

    let him go. have fun. or find another man who's permanently available. find what's best for you. :)
     
  4. nurseharley

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    if i genuinely cared about that person and loved them (and knew that the feelings were reciprocated), it wouldn't matter how long i had to wait or what the circumstances were. it would be tough but in the end it would be worth it.

    it really just depends on how serious the relationship is and how much you trust each other. if its something you want to pursue when you're back from Afghanistan, stick with it.
     
  5. Aspen

    Aspen New Member

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    I'm going to be 25 when I get back, we've been together for a little under a year and I will never cheat on anyone, last time I deployed I came back with a bunch of issues and he knows that and that it could happen again. I don't want him to waste his time but he says he's going to wait and I wanted to know if that seemed normal for not being together to long
     
  6. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Here is our experience. Many years ago, before email existed, when it cost and arm and a leg to call overseas, and international mail service was not what is is today, my Bunnie had a opportunity to work in Asia for about 18 months. We were in our early 20s and it was right at the time we were wondering were our relationship was going. Her job would keep her very busy, and my career was taking off and involving a lot of travel. We made the difficult decision that, though we loved each other, we would not hold each other to any obligation other than to be friends and stay in touch. During her time overseas we wrote each other probably 3-4 times a month. It was through sharing which each in those letters that made me realize that I really wanted her in my life for the rest of my life, and even though I dated a lot while she was gone (as did she), I never felt that strong sexual desire for anyone else as I did for her. So we managed to survive. almost 30 years later we still have the letters we wrote each other, and along with our photographs we consider them our most valuable possessions.

    So I would encourage you to at least try to write. I believe the writing will help you realize if this is a relationship you want to stay in or not. Chalk me up as being old, but I think it is a little sad these days how much letter writing, especially between couples, has fallen to the wayside. Even today we find a times we better communicate via a letter, and they are nice to hang on to. On my blog on this site I posted a letter Bunnie wrote to me in response t o me asking her why she thought I was good at sex - I have locked that letter away, it is much more meaningful to me than had she just told me.
     
  7. sinner

    sinner New Member

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    its an old cliche but it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Give it a try. If it doesn't work out than so be it but at least you will have tried.

    And since no one else as said it. Thank you for serving. Your nation is grateful for your sacrifice and you are in our prayers. Good Luck and God bless
     
  8. will_luvs_69

    will_luvs_69 New Member

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    First, I would like to thank you for your service and sacrifice. Me being a veteran, myself have been deployed to Iraq and have dealt with the crappy internet & phone service that was in that country. If you truly love your boyfriend then stay with him but right now your in a situation where you need to worry about coming home safe. The question is do you have a issue being away from him? Hang in there and it will be all worth the while when you return back to the states, if you know what I mean ;)
    Stay safe and hope to hear from you soon. :)
     
  9. makeshersquirt

    makeshersquirt New Member

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    Sound to me like the cracks of doubt are already snaking their way through the foundation of your relationship.