what to do?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by amberface, Aug 20, 2006.

  1. amberface

    amberface New Member

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    i've been dating him for a year and a half a little over and i've never had to work hard on top like he would always guide me and what not well i dont really know what to do...i mean i'm number one nervous and number two i don't want to hurt him so i mean what do i do

    any suggestions...


    please no a$$ hole responses:ugh
     
  2. Logger

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    Dear Amber,

    When you are on top, and you have congress wiith your BF, some Love you can show might be as follows:

    1. The top of the man's penis, at the base is fairly strong. You are more tender, as you push your vagina down toward the base of his penis. You should be careful not to push too hard for your own sensitivity, but you can push down as hard as you can take it, and it is pleasurable for me when my woman does that for me. You can rotate around, as you might feel comforatable.

    1A. you can pull your hips away from his hips, to create a stroke. you con't have to go stright up and down. You can swivel your hips out, away from his body, and then back in. If it slips out, there is joy in the intensity of trying to get insertion again.

    2. I like to have a woman swish her breasts across my chest, my nipples, my neck and face, everywhere she can swing them. There seems like an electric charge on the nipples, that give excitement everwhere the brush against.

    3. Match up your nipples with his nipples, or at last match one against one, and push the nipples together against the breast muscles, pectorals.

    4. With your vagina an inch or two off the base, swing your hips left and right. This will run his penis across the inside of your vagina, from side to side, and I think it feels great.

    5. I had a girl friend with long hair. I loved her hair, but when she was on top, which I loved, her hair would start getting into my mouth and nose, and I would have trouble breathing. I would inhale her hair, and it would block my nose or windpipe. Sometimes I would put her hair in a pony tail. Sometimes I would move my head to the side of her head, off to the side. Sometimes I would try to stay right in the middle of her tent of hair, and reach my mouth toward her lips, to be able to breath under the umbrella of her hair. If you have long hair, you might be sensitive you your boy friend breathing.

    6. You might lift up your shoulders, so your BF can watch your breasts bounce. Men enjoy the visual. So if you just let him watch you bouncing for a while, you are filling up his full desires. The further you lift straigten up, the more he can see of you. I have even seen the woman leaning back, while on top.

    7. Anything else that comes to your mind. Everything is good, just about. Just avoid kneeing his balls, is all.

    If my response is not what you are looking for, give me some feedback, so I can try to do better.
     
  3. amberface

    amberface New Member

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    okay great advice,

    take a stage before that


    and then tell me what you think

    i can't even move i get nervous and scared

    i've talked to him and what not

    but he'll give me nothing
     
  4. Logger

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    To get started I get lubrication and insertion with my being on top or on the side, or whatever. Then from my being on top, I press my hips into hers, and grab her hips and butt with my hands, and roll a little to the left, then roll all the way over to the right, and she is on top.

    So what am I missing?

    Do you want to stop being nervous and fearful?

    At what stage do you become nervous?

    Making out?

    Getting undressed?

    Foreplay?

    Starting insertion?

    Getting stroking established and lubricated?

    Breathing, relaxing, feeling beautiful, might be good projections of feelings before the stage when you start to get nervous. I have been doing more Yoga lately. That is good for getting your inner energies radiating.

    I have NLP books/DVD's on fears. One approach is to go over the exact details of what your mind is flashig to you, as you progress. These are called subroutines. Like Movie shorts, or flashback scenes. Your mind is giving you messages to feel loved, or to feel at risk of appearing foolish. By being aware of the messages your mind is flashing to you as the stages progress, you can give your mind reasons to change the messages it is giving you at the problem stages.

    For an easy start, maybe identify the stage when you are starting to get nervous, and resolve that next time, you will hold a comfortable position for a little while, breathe rythmically, and feel your inner enrgy of beauty shining through, giving Love to your BF. You can maybe let your boyfriend know that sometimes you may want to take a few minutes at one stage or another, and just feel your energies merging. You might say, "Let us just stay at the positon for a few mihnutes. I want to feel your energies.

    If it is taking you longer, you can maybe stroke his penis a few times, to keep him insterested in waiting for you to finish your generating feelings of beauty and service to BF.

    You will notice a beating heart as my gift to symbolize your Love shining through for BF.

    Blessings
     
    #4 Logger, Aug 20, 2006
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2006
  5. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    Amber...

    Nobody will give you bad comments at all, they are very cool people here. Be glad that you are in the right place to ask us for anything! Otherwise, one would get burned, not extracly literately(sp?). You get the picture. :D

    Rose, Puss-in-boots, Melicious, Pussycat69 and Pirouette are great ladies! :grouphug
     
  6. amberface

    amberface New Member

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    well that's good to know...i'm glad i've got people here that i can trust cuz i was scared lol
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I don't think you need to be afraid of hurting him. You can simply rock your pelvic area back and forth (and this also will stimulate your clit). Bending down a bit and rubbing your breasts across his face is a nice touch, as well. If you are feeling more energetic, you can 'pump' him - moving up and down his shaft.

    Personally, I enjoy reaching back with one hand and carressing his balls. As I am doing this I allow one finger to run behind his balls, kind of stroking the line between his balls and his anal area. This is a highly sensitive spot for most men. Not too rough - just gentle motion and soft carressing.

    Many men enjoy the visual stuff as well. Try holding and carressing your own boobs, while you are pumping him. If this makes you self-concious, instead of having full lighting, try candlelight. It hides your percieved flaws, and casts a beautiful golden shadow effect that makes it even more erotic.

    Sometimes, the 'silence' is deafening! You will hear every wet spot slurping, and even a "queef" (sp? ) :lol - so this can make some women nervous. Try having some soft music (or heavy alt. metal, if that's your forte'..) in the background. It will help to make you not feel that all the focus is on your every move.

    Hope this helps some - but honestly, practice makes perfect! We were all new at this at some point. We all had to fumble through the learning process. If you are not opposed to looking at porn, you can get some good ideas from that as well.

    Good luck! :tup
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Pirouette, Ryan, and myself work hard to keep the asshole responses to a minimum around here. So never fear! We want our members to feel comfortable asking *any* question without fear of being judged. We're here to help. :)

    I've noticed that even when I'm on top during sex, my boyfriend does most of the work, and I don't mind because it keeps me from getting tired out. Also, I wouldn't worry about hurting him when you're on top. Sometimes sexually inexperienced people are afraid they will hurt their partner. Guys might thrust a little too gently, etc, but the truth is that when you're in a state of sexual arousal your tolerance for pain goes way up, and sometimes a little pain during sex (gentle spanking, hair pulling, etc) is a very good thing. So don't be afraid to ride him hard cowgirl!

    Yeee Haaa!! :D
     
  9. amberface

    amberface New Member

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    yeah i've done that before like when he was moving me (if that makes sense) it was almost INSTANT orgasm for him...but...i stopped...cant' remeber why though:eek:
    porn is okay i don't really like to watch stuff that's tooo fake though :)

    hehe puss i shall try this weekend he will be having fun and he will get on here and thank every single one of you :) lots of confidence i like this place already
     
  10. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    LOL - You don't have to really enjoy the porn. Most porn is written/directed by men, so it leans heavily toward what pleases the man. Just watch to get some ideas on what to do for him. ;)
     
  11. Logger

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    You may feel unsure because your BF is not giving you much feedback.

    For me, anything a woman does on top brings the pleasure of ecstasy.

    Any movement of your arms, shoulders, neck, back, all create a movement of your vagina skin against the penis. Any movement brings pleasure. Probably, if you are just breathing, you are creating enough movement for the delight of ecstasy.

    I remeber being asked by my partner what she should do. I just replied something like, "Everything and anything is wonderful."

    Maybe move your arms and shoulders like a hula dancer, jiggling your breasts. Maybe arch your back an put your head back, showing your full neck.
     
  12. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    My neck become extremely sexually sensitive when I am sexually aroused, it is a major erogenous zone, so to speak. Sometimes when my wife has gotten on top, she has leaned over, put her weight on me (pushing her big, beautiful tits into my chest ;>) and licked my neck thoroughly! Talk about sexual ecstacy!
     
  13. freemark

    freemark New Member

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    I have to agree with the response about rocking your pelvis. When a woman moves her hips it is an amazing feeling. Mix it up a bit too - rocking back and forth, kind of a rotation, any variation you can think of working your hips while he's inside of you.
     
  14. pussycat69

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    If you've been with your guy for a while(which you have...),the worst thing that would happen is that if he was in discomfort,he'd politely let you know and tell you quietly to move a little here or there or maybe even let you know he likes what you are doing.I know when I like or dislike or I am uncomfortable,I let him know and he would do the same for me.It won't ruin the mood,It'll make it better that there is understanding.Don't worry.It'll be fine!

    Every man is different also,what might put one in discomfort,might feel good to the other,so really nothing in particular to watch for...and just like Logger said,be carefull with the balls,although light play is good ;)
     
  15. pussycat69

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    Thank you for your kind compliment blue:)
     
  16. amberface

    amberface New Member

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    thanks all for all your help