What the hell is wrong

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by AGFUNK, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. AGFUNK

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    We haven't had sex in five days. He has teased me though and then never follows through. He's either playing his game or falls asleep. Like today. We got home from visiting my grandma and we talked about having sex when we got home. I told him I was going to put the baby down and I waited for him after the baby was asleep. He was playing his game. I wound up falling asleep waiting for him. He didn't notice until later and he already saw me sleeping so he continued to play his game. I've noticed that it seems like he only wants sex when we can't have it. Or after talking to him or complaining about sex. I've tried talking to him about it before and today. He just thinks that it's not a big deal and it will blow over when we have sex. The problem is that he won't have sex with me unless I say something about it. I have to initiate or complain. It seems like he doesn't want me. I even went as far being as frustrated as I am told him to go have sex with someone else that maybe he would be happier then. I feel like just a mother and a maid. I don't feel like a wife.

    We have had this problem many times before we even had our child so that can't be it. We've spiced up our sex life with toys and such and it only works for so long. I've tried being sexy, bjs, etc but it never seems to work long. I just don't understand and it makes me really upset and feel like shit.
     
  2. HotForHoney

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  3. AGFUNK

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    I'll probably try to read it but my husband won't. He hates reading.

    Did it help you?
     
  4. HotForHoney

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    It helped me realize the problem and I can see it working. It was too late for my marriage (other issues). I read part of it w a bf and we got closer/better relationship but again, other issues.

    Don't let it continue. The longer it goes on, the harder to fix.

    Does he feel like second string now that the baby is here?
     
  5. AGFUNK

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    No, he doesn't. I've asked him before. I give him just as much attention as I did before our son was born. I made sure he didn't feel that way.
     
  6. anotherguy

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    Does he have a high sex drive, maybe he is stressed about work? I know I have a similar issue with my wife but it's her that doesn't want to have sex or falls asleep. Hope it works out for you though, keep trying I'm sure he would enjoy the attention...
     
  7. alwaystry

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    I have gone through streaks like this , for me , a baby made everything harder ,work ,money was stressing me out somy drive sort iof went down. This had a snowball effect , then she went through a streak and it caused real problems, blame game. But we worked at it, it wasn't easy , if we talked too much about it. It seemed like work which was a problem. Soyes , bite it in the ass now, but don't push toohard, it's delicate. I hope it works out for you. I wish I could explain more,its tough
     
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  8. lbushwalker

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    Dear AGFUNK,
    As usual you are overanalysing stuff.
    Your dude is or maybe a bit immature but still a nice one sticking to you as you are always overreacting.
    I actually think that you have a very normal relationship especially after having a baby.
    I only wish my ex-spouse was something like you when we experienced similar things.
    Always wishing you the best ;)
     
  9. AGFUNK

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    This morning we woke up not really talking to each other. Took care of our son and put him in his bouncy chair. I laid back down and he came over and started massaging me all over. Eventually led to him licking me and fucking my brains out. He made me scream and he shot far. He finally told me what the problem was that he's just tired. He would love to sleep and then have sex all day on his day off. I'm ok with that. I apologized to him and told him that I want him to just tell me the truth when I ask.

    I realize that I over think things a lot. I can't help it. I have an extremely high sex drive and could go multiple times a day. He works really hard for us and I'm going to try really hard to give him a break. Maybe if I try masturbating I won't think about it as much.
     
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  10. HotForHoney

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    A girls got to do what a girls got to do!
    I'm glad he was able to talk it you - and you got a good fuck!!
     
  11. lbushwalker

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    It is amazing how a good fuck can change how the world looks :)
     
  12. anotherguy

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    Happy that you guys had a chat and that he was able to tell you what was wrong. Hopefully you guys don't have any further problems for a while.

    Give the masturbation a go, if you need more advise I'm sure we would all help :)
     
  13. SWOJLO

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    Burn every single game he plays then go to the neighbors and do the same. If a grown man is playing games and complains of being too tired to play with you and/or his child, then he's still too much of a boy. Tell him to grow up and read a book. Maybe a book about how to spend quality time with family and loved ones. If he leads by example your child will turn out light years ahead of all the other morons sitting around, alone with controller in hand.
     
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  14. chikinlil

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    i know several couples that have this problem my mom complains all the time lol she is 70 that her husband doesnt like sex he thinks its dirty and she hasnt been laid in 35 years or so lmao that sucks he is a preachers son so he has a skewed look on sex iu reckon hell who knows and my neighbor she is like 68 hasnt had sex in like 40 years her husband was the same way so beats the hell outa me i cant go with out it myself i like the dirty parts lmao
     
  15. Silverfox

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    I'm glad you talked. Keep doing it. Never stop. You can work the issues out, as long as you're honest.

    This is a second marriage for both Silverette, and me, after our first failed attempts. I can't remember where I posted this, but we didn't promise each other "forever together", but rather, we promised honesty. That's what we live by.

    Stay honest. Don't argue, but stay honest.
     
  16. AGFUNK

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    He works third shift 6 days a week. Two of those days are twelve hour shifts. I don't mind if he plays his game. I mind when it becomes obsessive. I have games that I play myself usually when I'm feeding our son since I'm attached and can't do anything else. He does make time for our son. He plays with him and everything. I get extremely bitchy when I'm horny especially when I go that long without cumming. On top of being teased as well that makes for one pissed off me.

    Had sex again today since I couldn't wait for new years. I initiated which is ok. I do appreciate when he does it though.
     
  17. WS4

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    My wife and I deal with the work shift thing I work evenings she works a swing when we get days off together its bunny humping time. If she goes in late during week we try to seek one in. Its hard some times but I think you guys will be okay. Same advice honesty and communication. In our 30 year marriage I have had as many as 3 jobs at once so i know he is tired. IMHO the games perform a mental relaxation the sex is physical when you are real tired its easy to shut the brain down with a game but with sex you need mind and body. Keep up the good fight
     
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  18. jjslpsg

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    I agree with WS4 and the others. I think that communication is the key. I was married for almost 29 years and when we stopped communicating I suspected that it was over and it was. If you don't keep open and honest communication going the relationship is bound to fail.