My wife and I are in our 50s now, empty-nesters and seemingly happy grandparents. Everything was great for years in the bedroom. We had great sex, great companionship, did a few crazy things from time to time... we'd go 'parking' once in a while (got caught a couple times), I got her a stripper for her birthday one year and she got to do a few things with him, we even had a steady girlfriend for a while a number of years ago. We had romantic evenings where I'd put on some romantic music, blindfold her and give her a bath, a massage and just have affection without sex... and other times, she'd play some games with me, like calling a friend (while Im listening in) and getting the conversation around to our sex life and "accidentally" revealing things like how "huge" I am (I'm not) just to get a reaction. Other times, we'd go out to a bar and I'd put my hand under her skirt and pleasure her right there in public. I know she liked these things, and the other little games we'd play from time to time, because she brought them up more than I did. Things were fine between us until about two years ago. It was like someone turned off the lightswitch on her libido. One night I went to bed, put my hand on her stomach and she just rolled over away from me. We haven't had any sex of any kind since then. I now sleep in the guest room and we're talking less and less. I've asked her a thousand times what's going on. Is it a health issue, a hygiene issue, did I do something you find disgusting, are you in pain, are you "dry" or does it hurt, is it my deteriorating looks, is it being a grandma - like a "grandmas aren't supposed to have sex" thing, do you think I had an affair, or did someone tell you I had an affair (I didn't), did YOU have an affair (we can work it out), is there something you want, is it something we did that you now think is dirty, am I too jealous, am I not jealous enough, did I not pick up my dirty underwear fast enough?? When I suggested that maybe menopause had diminished her sex drive and maybe she should ask her doctor about it, she actually started hitting me with her fists!!! Well, it was that girl-hitting thing with the side of the fist, not punches, but still... it was a shock to experience that. Well, this "pursuit of the truth" went on for months. Finally, I gave up. In all these years, we've never not been able to talk about anything until now. And I've never been tempted to stray until recently, and it's a concern... because her sister (in her 40s and divorced) has been sniffing around and dropping hints like she knows what's going on, and suddenly she needs all this work done at her house. So, I go over to hang a ceiling fan or fix a cabinet door or stop a running toilet, because I'm "such a good guy"... and she's there in a little robe or some such thing. One night I went over to fix a broken pane in a bedroom window, and she "accidentally" left the bathroom door open a couple inches while she took a shower (what am I, stupid?). Well, I saw what I saw (wow - very nice for 47) and downstairs a bit later I found myself walking up behind her and putting my arm around her waist and pressing my face to the side of her neck, and that's not all I was pressing into her. She didn't pull away. We ended up fooling around a bit (kissing and feeling - that's all, like a couple schoolkids I guess) before I left. She was starting to unbuckle my belt when I thought "I gotta get out of here before I do something I'll really regret". I had such a hard-on I could barely fit in behind the wheel of my car, and I realized this thing is a lot worse than I thought. I'd definitely rather fix things with my wife than go down the road of having an affair with her sister... but with things being the way they are, and the sister being right there (and still calling - and every time I talk to her, I can feel her rubbing up against me - ARGH!), I've got a nasty problem. I've been spending a long time in the shower lately... if you take my meaning. Wreck a 35-year marriage over this frustration (our marriage could survive an affair, but an affair with her sister probably would cross a line, eh?) or do I go into a new round of trying to figure out what the hell happened? And, I have no idea how to even start trying to fix this thing. Plus, everything else between us is fine. We see the kids and grandkids, go places, concerts, go shopping, parties, visits, etc etc etc. Just this. And I don't know what to do. Thanks for letting me rant... in my very first post.