What should I do?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sumon, Jun 15, 2010.

  1. sumon

    sumon New Member

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    Hi Friends
    I have been undergoing through a problem. I am a recently married guy (arranged marriage). I am doing my post graduation abroad. I used to have phone calls with my wife before marriage nearly 7 months. I asked her to come online but she never came and I had to satisfy with her photos only. She is also educated and I thought it is ok with my parents that she is educated and active. So without looking for any bad things of hers I got married.
    My wife used to let excessive foreplay but she never let me to have intercourse. She would let me to remove her bra but when I attempted to remove her lower undergarment she told she felt embarassed. I was surprised that why did she let me to remove her upper undergarment and initiate foreplay and why upon trying to remove lower one she is feeeling that embarassed. For one day it was ok but why for months. I was her husband why did I have sexless marriage. I even sopke to her about several times preventive measures to be taken for intercourse and that we will not have child soon. Once she acted so aggressively that she scratched me behind my back with her nails and told that she is not abnormal.
    We even went for honeymoon but all my efforts was useless.
    If this had been a case that she had not known me then I had been calling her from abroad several times for 7 months before marriage and I even asked her to come to have webcam chat but she always denied.
    Though we never had sex she was once asking if my underwear was wet or not with semen. Before marriage and after marriage I have never found that love, bond between us though I always cared her. I have never found myself in her.
    Once I found 3 IV syringes in my room when she was away. Later i came to know it was to be used by drug addict.
    I am surprised why is she behaving differently. Is she having some problems or she is cheating me and my family? What should I do?
     
  2. Barbwire

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    Since she won't let you see her naked below the waist, are you positive she's a woman and not a tranny? I mean, stranger things have happened. :ugh
     
  3. Stormin10

    Stormin10 Member

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    LOL... and for the new players out there always test drive before buying..!!!
     
  4. HardRocker

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    If you can get her to tell you anything about why she is embarrassed, it would be a good start. I hate the thought of it, but maybe she was mutilated earlier in life. I know it happens to women, frequently in some cultures. I hope that is not the reason.

    Tell her you and she are husband and wife, two people who will always love, protect and look out for each other, and any part of her mind and body is sacred to you, as yours should be to her. And if you can only trust one other person in the world on that level it is each other.

    If that doesn't get you fucked, I don't know what to say.:D Don't lose your sense of humor.:p
    BUT IT'S THE TRUTH!
    (or if it is not the truth, it should be)
     
  5. Logger

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    When will you see your wife next?

    Is there a way for you to get more information about your wife? Can you ask your parents to ask her parents?

    What compliments do you give her?

    What are your massage skills?

    How do you stimulate her breasts and nipples, in foreplay?

    Can you give more details on drugs? Who is using drugs? What can you find out about her brothers and sisters? High school and college friends?

    Seems it might be more important what hapens when you are together.





    //
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Good points. I forgot about the drug thing.
     
  7. sumon

    sumon New Member

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    Regarding the drug I could find 3 syringes in the cupboard only. It is not the place for syringes to be there and there is no medical conditions that we need syringes in home.
    Well regarding the love protection trust I could do whatever is possible from my side, but I never found this in her. Though I could not say these inner things to other people. She is always trying to be protective regarding her mobile and I could find her doing sms or reading the sms. She was also seen with another guy several times. She even takes a lot of time outside and has useless explaination for it. After I came abroad to continue my studies she had organised parties for her friends but I was not informed. she has been doing things without informing my parents and even i dont know. she used to speak one thing to me and another things to my parents.

    she is living with her parents from past 6 months. When there is no love and trust why to continue the relationship so I have also asked her for divorce.
     
    #7 sumon, Jun 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2010
  8. HardRocker

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    Sorry for your bad situation. Everyone deserves to be loved by their partner. Far be it from me to foist my morals on another culture, but I cannot see how pre-arrainged marriages serve no one's best interest.
     
  9. Logger

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    I usually post to help parters continue their relationship, regardless of how the relationship started.

    To Sumon:

    There have been other threads on "Distance Relationshps"

    Some women are good at being faithful when the husband is away. Some are good at keeping their deviations secret. Some men can overlook transgressions while they are away for extended times. What is important for me, is that at least when I am around, that my woman not fool around behing my back, because that makes me feel foolish.

    How much longer do you plan to be studying abroad? What do your parents say about a divorce? Can your parents aford to pay for her to join you now?
     
  10. HardRocker

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    If you check my history, you'll see that I do too.

    They aren't kids. They are in their mid 30s. The marriages were likely set up in their early childhood or before birth.
    Please correct me if I'm mistaken, sumon.