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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by mousse, Mar 14, 2007.
What makes sex bad? And what makes it good? Be specific!
A few things, not asking and just doing, not giving but just expecting...treating your lover with no respect at all....
beating her up till shes black and blue then wanting her......
To me that makes for bad sex .....
A very passive partner makes for very bad sex. Conversely, a partner that is into the sexual moment and into you makes for excellent sex.
To me these are the key ingredients, and everything else follows.
No sex makes for very bad sex....
I hate people like that with a passion... I really don't understand why or how some people tolerate it.
I have a lot of experience with this actually.
First of all, yes, there is such a thing as bad sex.
This can be caused by a lack of foreplay. I don't know why some guys think foreplay is not necessary for women. Maybe since they can be ready for sex in seconds they think that it must be the same for women. Not so. My ex would try to penetrate me with no foreplay and sometimes it would take a while of slowly, painfully easing it into me.
It couldn't have felt all that good for him either, but I honestly think that he didn't enjoy sex very much. It was merely a mechanical process to provide sexual relief to him. He was totally disconnected from me mentally and therefore I was nothing more than a masturbatory aid for him.
I agreed to do it because he'd keep asking for it and pressuring me to do it. Eventually I caved in, knowing that it would be over in a few minutes and then he'd leave me alone for a week. There were many times where he'd be pounding away at me from behind and therefore unable to see that my face was twisted in pain and the tears running down my face.
Sex with him felt like being rubbed with 20 grit sandpaper.
I had many talks with him about it, about how it hurt me, etc, but he seemed to think that the fact that I wasn't aroused enough was somehow my fault. After a while I refused to have sex with him anymore and eventually totally wised up and left him. It's taken a long time for my self esteem to recover from that relationship. It's still recovering as a matter of fact.
Bad sex for me would be with someone I dont feel a deep connection with....
Someone who didnt "get" me or love me.....
I would hate to be someone's piece of meat.....
If I knew he loved and respected me deeply then he could call me that when we were having sex....
But its the knowing and the connecting for me....
Lots of forplay...lots of kissing lots of touching and caressing...taking a piece of clothing of , like a sock and kissing the feet sucking the toes and carring on up to the hips , then working from the eyes a kiss for each then nose the lips mouth face neck and all over till theres just one area not kissed or touched ...just as a start.
Sorry to hear about that PIB.
I never understood how guys could feel any pleasure doing something like that for two reasons... one it is messed up to hurt someone you are suppose to love.. and two, as a guy I can tell you it hurts like hell if a girl isn't really wet.
Not sure how any guy can enjoy being inside a woman without her being wet - it feels like someone is skinning your dick.
Bad sex -
when the guy isn't interested in my pleasure. Not a problem now I'm seeing someone.
If he isn't really in the mood, but is doing it to please me. Don't! I can tell!
Nothing worse than when someone tries to enter you if you aren't wet enough.
Yes there is. When someone tries to enter you ANALLY with no lube, 'by accident.'
Puss_in_boots, it's easy to understand why he's your ex.
You should have put your foot down after a couple of times of that
and said no more.Don't ever let a man hurt you that way.You are worth more than some man treating you like that.
Aww..thanks guys :grouphug
I eventually did make my way out the fog of depression I was in and put my foot down. I feel mighty sorry for whoever he's with now because he's so terrible in bed.
A question P&B, Did you put your foot down on His
ball as you should have (pun intended)
People like P&B's ex ought to have a big scarlet letter branded on their chest. A=Asshole.
Hear hear! Emotionally disconnected sex is the worst, IMO If you really care about someone, you can work out the finer details. (Or see a sex therapist, if worse comes to worst, I suppose.)
I'll fire up the brand, you hold him down, Joe :dgrin
Sorry to hear it. It really sucks that these guys get by. My girlfriend had a bad case of this sort of lameass for about a year and a half. I took it real personally when she told me all the things he did. Just didn't seem... humane? Not sure how to put it but it's very irritating to know beautiful women are being abused by losers. But now, as you mentioned in another post, she has the opposite problem. Which makes me proud. ; )
Two words: BLUE BALL
I am so fussy who I have sex with....they get a good grilling before I even let them kiss me....lol.....
The next guy I sleep with will probably get so fed up of waiting that i will be too old to manage it and he too old to get it up......hahahahaha.....
Not many men do it for me...the least thing can put me off...the smell, voice, humour, intellect, etc etc has got to be RIGHT....
But then again I might surprise ye all one day and come here and say "oooh last night I had a quick shag up against the wall outside the pub"
hehehe....ye never know??
The only thing that comes close to 'bad sex' between my wife and I, is when the reason for doing it is not the right one.
For example, my wife will say that it seems like it has been forever since she has given me a blowjob and feels sorry. Later on that night when she attempts to give me one I'll stop her. If it's been a long time she should want to do it for that reason and not because she feels like she's disappointing me. BTW a long time to my wife is a week.