What makes a woman good in bed?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Pearl, Oct 1, 2007.

?

What makes a girl good in bed?

  1. Body confidence

    6 vote(s)
    10.7%
  2. Taking the intiative to try new positions, please elaborate

    14 vote(s)
    25.0%
  3. Being dominant/taking control

    14 vote(s)
    25.0%
  4. Techniques such as vaginal clenching etc, please elaborate

    5 vote(s)
    8.9%
  5. Letting the man be in control/lie there

    5 vote(s)
    8.9%
  6. Other, please elaborate

    12 vote(s)
    21.4%
  1. Pearl

    Pearl New Member

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    I am really curious about this...
    I was with a guy for two years, we were both virgins when we met. We broke up about 6 months ago. Since then, I slept with one guy until I had met this other guy and a few nights ago we had sex, bringing my total to 3.

    Ok, so my first boyfriend and I, we figured things out and I thought it was great. The second guy, it was a little better but I was drunk so couldn't really say.
    Now, this third guy, it was completely different. He was a little older than me and he really knew what he was doing. It made me realise my first boyfriend and sexual partner was really bad in bed. But then I thought, he only ever had sex with me, that is why he wasn't so great... I must be really bad too!!

    So, a question for any guys and girls...
    What makes a girl good in bed? I'm talking technique here, practical stuff. I know there is a lot of other parts to this answer like body confidence etc. but I need to know if what I've been doing is right... I mean it feels right and the guy has an orgasm but what is good for men in bed?
    I must sound very stupid and I know most of this answer but I just had it on my mind.

    I know what made my first boyfriend bad, he didn't really have any stamina and he often came relatively quickly and wasn't very willing to try new positions.

    So,apart from going on top a girl can just lie there or she can...
    finish the sentence!

    (I'm kind of talking about the first time you have sex with someone new here, to give a good impression so to speak,what is good to do?)
     
  2. NaughtyKnickers

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    First off I think (a bit paradoxically) a woman's genuine enthusiasm is important to men, yet so is not taking every move terribly seriously. It's hard to learn, or be 'good' if you're totally focused on mechanical performing and not enjoying.

    Heh.. Sometimes these go hand in hand. My husband struggled with stamina issues for a long time, so 90% of the time it was strictly the missionary, or he'd lose it right away. There are ways guys can work on the stamina issue, and if you listen and feel for his breathing patterns, his expressions, the tension in his body, you can tune into his excitement level and know when to pump and work his cock, and when to back off and let him ride that edge, but not go over.

    Alot of it is just paying attention to the cues your man's body gives, and acting accordingly. Flexibility comes in handy, too. :)
     
  3. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I voted "other" because you had no "All of the above!"
     
  4. Pearl

    Pearl New Member

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    It was more he'd actually get tired than come too quickly. I'm single now, so I will never get to help him.

    Yes, I completely understand, of course one should relax and enjoy it but at the same time knowing what your doing would be nice. This last guy I slept with he knew what he was doing, but of course he enjoyed it so that was great!!
     
  5. Thorn

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    A long term relationship with ups and downs but where both try and work out problems through the relationship. Basically a real commitment.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I would say.... being able to flow with the moment. Perhaps he comes on with erotic ideas, so he's probably looking for a woman who will follow. If he is slow to act... and waits on your every move, then he may desire a sensual confidence from you.

    Point is, you should do/be what you feel comfortable doing/being. That way, you will find your compatible partner. Don't be so intent on becoming what someone else wants. Learn your own pleasures, then allow them to flow. Some men may not like it m:eyes ... BUT you will find some who absolutely love it!! That's the guy you want to hang with for a while :tup

    PS: Good thread, Pearl :)
     
  7. NaughtyKnickers

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    Well Pearl, it's hard to give specifics, as all men have their own preferrences. ... Although I would guess "all of the above" in your poll would be the answer for quite a few men :)

    The thing is, if you tune into what your partner likes, you'll be able to read what they like as an individual and not be going through a mental checklist of 'what guys like', cuz honestly, you can't do it all in one round. :)

    EDIT: Rose is right about going with what you like as well, if you're enjoying yourself, he's going to enjoy that as well. ;)
     
  8. Pearl

    Pearl New Member

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    Thanks for all the replies. I was curious about this. I know everyone is different and I realise you need to read someone to know what they like, even just by the noises they make. I guess I'm looking for a generalisation, which isn't possible!

    This is interesting and makes an AWFUL lot of sense doesn't it!

    That's what makes a woman good in bed? A long term relationship does not always work out, for example my boyfriend and I of two years broke up and that was a good thing. It is not always possible to be in a loving relationship. Ideally this is the way I would like my sex life to be but it's just not the way things work out. Being single and having a good sex life can be hard as I don't like masturbation much, it's just not the same but can help of course.

    While in missionary position, is it good for the girl to thrust also? Like match the guy's thrusts...or does that usually mess things up. To be honest when I try this, I end up getting muddled so just don't bother.
    Also guys, what are you views on clenching the vagina in and out whilst having sex, do you like that?
     
  9. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

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    This may sound harsh but I like a woman who takes responsibility for her own enjoyment and knows how to get it from me.
     
  10. Bluesy

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    I think that, first and foremost, a woman who loves sex, I mean really loves sex is every guy's dream. If sex is important to a woman, if she has a high libido, if she loves connecting with a man on a primal, sensual level, all the other qualities that make a woman good in bed naturally follow: she's enthusiastic, she's sexually knowledgeable, she's vocal, she's playful, she's experimental, she loves cock, she likes to surprise her man, she likes to mix it up (taking charge as well as being more submissive, likes animal sex as well as romantic sex, etc.), she makes her man feel like he's the hottest stud on the planet (hopefully he is to her!)... Of course, fabulous sex can only happen if both partners give 100%. It's an artform if it's done right ;)

    Oh, and she pays attention to the things that really drive him wild! We talk a lot here about how men have to clue in to what makes their woman go weak in the knees, but it's a two-way street.
     
  11. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    That's it...

    ...right there, that whole post. I started to point out that Rose is on the right track saying you should be looking to your own comfort level and that is true in the sense that you don't want to be constantly chasing, so to speak, your lovers comforts and desires at the expences of your own.

    But a good lover, to me, doesn't go the other way to far and is only concerned with her own comforts. Put another way, it's not any better for a man to solely be concerned about his own comfort level.

    To me, a great lover both knows what they dig and is more than willing to get into what turns you on; not just do it, but get into it. I don't mean this in any extreme sense such as pain or discomfort or impractical and so forth, but, really, if there are limits on what you will do for your lover and they feel shortchanged about it, that is a two way street also.

    I like the way Bluesy put it best, so far.
     
  12. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    I know where you are coming from, my husband and I were virgins together, and so we learned together. we thought it was good, and over the years it did get better, he didn't last long, so I was just glad he liked to do foreplay. At a certain age, my libido went into overdrive and I wanted to experiment more, but his response was not always welcoming.

    Then I had a short fling with a man who was vastly experienced, although I still found him dissapointing in actual technique, he was into swinging and anal and I was not. He was well hung, and he thought that was enough to satisfy me, he was a bit selfish in that respect.

    So now I am really looking forward to being with my new boyfriend (I am relocating) cos we both look forward to exploring together, a little roleplay... toys... bondage and spanking. He likes that I am open to new things, and I think that is the key...

    It is good to feel so comfortable with the person you are with that you can suggest something without fear of rejection or being laughed at.

    I don't see it as a competition to be the best lover he has ever had, but just to enjoy each other.

    I think Bluesy said it very well.

    Enjoy and explore.
     
  13. espresso

    espresso New Member

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    For me it is all about....Passion!! If the women is truly into it and passionate about the moment then it will be totally obvious and that is such a huge turn on to me. Also, it is very important for the woman to be confident in herself and her body. If she is she will be able to just let go and fully enjoy the moment without distraction. Yummy!! I need to go find my wife now :)
     
  14. Joe

    Joe
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    I'll go with passion too. Unbridled passion. Uninhibited. She doesn't have to love me, but she's got to love my body -- want it, go after it, devour it. And she's got to give herself up to pleasure.


    "While in missionary position, is it good for the girl to thrust also?"

    Absolutely! No question about that one. Don't be a "dead fish". There should be a rhythm established. The person in the dominant position usually sets the rhythm, and the other follows it; however, the person on the subordinate position can help set/change the rhythm too.

    You want to make love WITH your partner, not just get banged BY him.
     
  15. jgood4u

    jgood4u New Member

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    Learn!

    Bluesy said it very well! I'd like to emphasize she's sexually knowledgeable strongly in the context of your question. The more you understand about how your body works sexually and the more you understand how HIS body works sexually, the more you will be equipped to enjoy all the other aspects that Bluesy mentioned. Read good books and reliable internet sites (not junk or porn) and don't be judgmental of him or yourself. A key to an enjoyable relationship is good, open communications. Learn that skill well!
     
  16. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Yeah but...

    ...passion is an emotion, a feeling, and there will be plenty of times where you are not in sync, one of your, both of you. That's where knowing each other pretty well comes in. Start pushing the right buttons for each other and all of a sudden everything that was inhibiting the feelings and focus of passion, a bad day at the office, kids sick, bills, cat peed on your favorite chair, all of a sudden you can't remember anything and that whirlwind comes rolling up. :dgrin

    Passion is the song and sometimes you need to remember the notes to get it to truly sing.

    :D
     
  17. igor

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    Hell, I am not picky. Just be a bit enthused about your partner and what is happening. Communicate and express your desires and satisfaction. Don't fake pleasure.
     
  18. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Knowing what you enjoy..., then watching and responding to his body.

    As far as thrusting, of course you should reciprocate. There is a slight delay. He will thrust... and as he's done thrusting, you will give a thrust back toward him. The rhythm will flow. It's almost llike a dance. He leads - - you follow. An ebb & flow - much like the waves of a seashore. Very natural....
     
  19. dwj21

    dwj21 New Member

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    oh shit girl, :D that is fantastic, you are awesome!!!!!
     
  20. Bluesy

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    I have to admit that I had very little interest in developing my sexual knowledge base before I hit my sexual peak (approx. halfway through my 34th year) :eek: So libido had much to do with my interest level, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was possible to experience a surge in libido by consciously taking a more educational interest in sex :)

    I somehow overlooked a really good point that Rose made earlier:
    I failed to mention that a good lover also respects their partner's boundaries. I do think it's important to try new things and keep an open mind, but at the same time, a person should never do anything that makes them psychologically uncomfortable, so a woman who's good in bed isn't going to pressure her partner into doing something he's unsure of...she'll let him decide for himself, in time, whether or not he'd like to try it (and won't nag him about it). As open-minded as I consider myself to be, there are certain things I'm not going to do, no matter how much a guy loves it. Cumming on my face, no way! But then, I'm acutely aware of how important sexual compatibility is and I'm not going to end up with a guy who's a fan of facials. So, :tup to Rose's insight.