What makes a good relationship?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Tench, May 18, 2003.

  1. Tench

    Tench New Member

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    It'd be interesting to know what you all think on this matter...what makes a good relationship?

    Tench:D
     
  2. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    Challenge! (for men to women)

    You gotta make yourself a challenge for her. So that your lover won't get bored after a while.

    Be romantic. But don't show to much affection... it's a turnoff, cause it's going to be a allday situation. surprises make a good relationship.


    (for women to men)
    tell... for god's sake, tell what you're thinking and please ask for help immediatly and not like 3 months too late.



    that's everything :dance
     
  3. sidedoor

    sidedoor New Member

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    what about humour??

    ----------------------
    easy come easy go.
     
  4. Giancarlo

    Giancarlo New Member

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    Well being gay I'll explain my view:

    No it is not all sex for me.

    I want a relationship where the other guy understands me, where we both talk enough to know each other well, and all of that other usual romantic stuff... :) Sex is plus.. but what comes first is if my heart is with the other guy... :)
     
  5. beau

    beau New Member

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    Giancarlo has it all in one word understanding if you have true understanding of each other , then the trust , and and the other stuff comes with it .
    now this is true understanding not the same as like understanding that what goes up must come down
     
  6. illuzhen777

    illuzhen777 New Member

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    love, good sex, and security..
     
  7. refresh

    refresh Contributer

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    Good communication makes a good relationship.
     
  8. beau

    beau New Member

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    communication.. i honestly dont see as a BIGGER part to relationship , you can communicate perfect but if the understanding isnt there then the communication was worthless .no understanding normally turns into arguement , and again i stress this is understanding the person not a conversation , just my view on it ..
     
  9. refresh

    refresh Contributer

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    But how can you understand someone if you don't communicate?
     
  10. Kabuki

    Kabuki New Member

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    to be a challenge for them and not always show how you feel?
    lol
    sorry but i dont agree with that, that will only drive your loved one away.

    in my honest opinion i feel that if you treat your partner with great respect and not hide your feelings while showing them great trust and understanding you cant go far wrong.


    in the post before this there was a comment bout communication, well what can i say. in real life, i am one of the most shyest people around even a mouse makes more noise then me, but if you can get past that and make communcation with your partner then you can make it last.

    buying them gifts is a good idea but also keep in mind that they might think your trying to buy them so be careful with that
     
  11. trying2please

    trying2please New Member

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    I also think trust, respect, communication, understanding, and love (if it applies) is what makes a great relationship. You have to be able to trust each other enough to talk to each other and understand each other, which means u respect and love each other.
     
  12. Woot

    Guest

    - Empathy - Being able to empathize means you understand
    - Caring - the ability to respond to your empathy
    - Companionship - Being able to share in the others interests has a great bonding effect that can hold you together through rough times and helps the relationship avoid boredom (you have to have something to do after sex ;) )
    - Creating a rainbow of happy memories - If you're not doing things together (amusement parks, day trips etc.. spending time together other than sex) you're not creating happy memories from which a growing love can draw on (which serves to deepen it).
    - Thoughtfulness - It really is true "the little things mean so much". A simple "I love you" note (written on the bathroom mirror with soap for example) for him/her in the morning, or other small surprises can often demonstrate your love much more than spoken words or big fancy gifts. Add the little things up and they can be much more meaningful than all the "big" things combined. Usually it's the time and thought put into something that means the most, not the money spent. For example, a hand drawn card would have so much more meaning to me than one bought from the store because she spent all that time and effort on me to make her own card... to me, that is much more thoughtful.

    - Humor - If you can make someone laugh then you bring them enjoyment and happiness. I think it's so important that you have to be able to laugh together. It creates a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere and that is something most people are naturally drawn to. It makes the memories all that much more... well... memorable :)

    Those are the things I find important to make a good relationship (for me at least :) )


    Edit: A good example of how we're drawn to places that makes us laugh is here lol... take Ryan for example, if this place did nothing but talk serious about sex, I probably wouldn't come around too often (I'd rather "do" than talk about it :D) but then you get someone like Ryan who comes up with some hilarious posts that get me rofl, and I'm naturally drawn to come back.

    (was that ok Ryan? Was it worth the $20 you slipped me? ;) )
     
  13. Billman

    Billman New Member

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    :ugh This is a hard one to answer for me. I've been in many relationships. I've been through the worst, and the best a decent relationship has to offer...

    I think the best relationships, are the ones you have with a friend. When you fall in love with a friend, you begin to value them more than when they were just a friend.

    Trust. You need trust above anything else. Within trust, there is understanding and dedication. You cannot be with someone you do not trust. I am living proof of that (for both of us in my current post relationship.)

    Respect. You need to give a person the respect they need, which usually includes time to heal from previous relationships, and patience really falls into the respect category. You need to be respectful of your mate's wishes, and patient that they will make the right decisions at the right time.

    Truth. You need to ALWAYS be honest, and communicate! My ex ruined me because she NEVER communicated, because she was always afraid to deal with anything. She's the type that would rather just have things blow over. Even when I tried to pry it out of her... it just wouldn't always be fully said. You need to completely honest, and work things out.

    Space. You need to be alone once in a while. To think about what makes you happy. And have time to miss your mate. I'm lucky in the space category at the moment.. I have a universe between me and the woman I love. Unfortunately there's a black wall surrounding the universe between me and her. And that is...

    Heart. You have to follow your heart, no matter who it will hurt, or what it will do to those around you, if you are to be truly happy. My ex thinks she's following her heart... and it's killing mine. But she's happy, and that's all that matters, right? Becareful to not ever delude yourself into thinking you love someone when you may not. And don't drag it on for years if your heart isn't in it, you will just end up hurting yourself more than you will others.

    Laughter. You can't be with someone who doesn't entertain you in at least some way! Laughter will save your relationship at the darkest hours. I can attest to this personally.

    When it really works between two people, it's like nothing you've ever experienced. Each relationship you will have throughout life will be different. Each is rewarding in different ways. And each reward is greater than simple friendship.

    Love, is really all that matters. Without love, there isn't a life worth living.
     
  14. YumYumYummyGirl

    YumYumYummyGirl New Member

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    Billman stole all my answers! ;)

    Most important for me is trust, without it, it's hard to have anything else.
     
  15. archer_007

    archer_007 New Member

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    Love is all that is needed............. and money.
     
  16. Kabuki

    Kabuki New Member

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    money dont come into it, you can still have feelings for someone that dont have that much money

    its the soul and heart of a person that should be looked at, not just there appearance
     
  17. tina

    tina New Member

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    I agree with Kabuki that the whole challenge thing will only drive someone away - that goes hand in hand with the advice such as "play hard to get" or "make yourself unavaliable". It's all those stupid games that make relationships tedious!!!

    Communication is key I think - honesty, and the ability to enjoy each other even when you are doing nothing. And then I also agree with Ryan - sex is kinda important.
     
  18. lovely

    lovely New Member

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    about the money thing:

    no, money doesnt count when u consider feelings, but when u wanna go further then that, as in relationship wise, i think females want a man who can take care of them

    but i do agree with kabuki, dont play games, it will only scare a girl off
    let her know how u feel, be honest, she will be touched
     
  19. tsukassa

    tsukassa New Member

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    the only real way to tell is if you see past the persons outter beauty and go somewhere deep down inside in otherwords i think that its best to have such a deep understanding of eachother. not to mention the respect (thank you aretha lol) but i think mutual understanding is important but love,HONESTY,loyalty,trust,etc are what matter. i think a good relationship can be defined like this: if you take away all material possesions and wants of achother and you still feel like this is what you want. then its good. plus i believe if its not meant to be then that means there is something better waiting for you. so my moral here is to never give up or most importantly forget who YOU are! thanx ,tsukassa
     
  20. Kabuki

    Kabuki New Member

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    but what if you know that your partner cant do that already?

    like your in a relationship and your willing to give up anything and everything to be with that person yet there is 1 thing in your partners life that they can not give up for reasons that they would only share with the partner

    things like that are what make a relationship difficult, yet supassing it and moving on while keeping that link between the 2 people is 1 thing that would also lead to a strong relationship too

    sex????????? wtf
    lol
    it isnt the most important thing in the world and definatly not in a relationship, ok so its something you share with each other but there is more then that.......