What makes a good husband?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by whybother, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. whybother

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  2. Sexy Strip

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    That is difficult to answer because every marriage is different but a good husband has the qualities of honesty, ambition, charm and dependability, to me anyway.
     
  3. HazHardHat

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    fantastic answer @Sexy Strip
     
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  4. xtacy4

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    I completely agree with your statement about needing to fix the marriage before being able to fix the sexual side of things. Sex for women is more dependent on emotions than it is for men. How to be a "good" husband though- know her "love language."
     
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  5. Sweetlysad

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    You need to fix the marriage before the sexual relationship.
    I won't have sex with my husband but my marriage is beyond repair.
    I don't think there a formular to the prefect husband, be kind and nice and supportive.
    I don't need someone who cook and cleans (it would be nice) but help out!
     
  6. duffy

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    "Love language"....need some further information, discussion please
     
  7. xtacy4

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    There's a book called "The Five Love Languages." Basically it says that everyone feels and shows love different ways that can be broken down into 5 categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. If you know which one or two ways makes your partner feel most loved, you're able to speak their love language. For example, if you are always buying gifts for your partner to try to show her how much you appreciate her, but her love language is acts of service, those gifts don't hold much value. She would feel more appreciated if you put the dishes away without being asked. So, basically it's knowing what each other needs to feel loved.
     
  8. duffy

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    Thanks...always room for improvement
     
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  9. whybother

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    I love your answer but it also begs the question: what is your love language?
     
  10. Lizzie73

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    As a woman who has been faithfully married for 22 years, to a guy who is still all over her, let me toss in my two cent's worth.

    It's really simple...
    ASK HER. Ask her what you can do better
     
  11. Lizzie73

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    Oops--didn't mean to post yet...

    Ask her, then really listen & try to do those things. Meet her needs, then gently let her know what your needs are....but frame it well.
    DON'T say something like "I have needs. I want more sex."
    DO say something like "I miss being close to you. I want more intimacy."
     
  12. sensless

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    It's very difficult fixing a relationship, because if a problem is there in the first place, it's due to the personalities involved.

    The issue is that one may want to change oneself to better work within the couple, but it's very, very difficult to change.

    We are who we are. When we try to change, it only lasts a few hours, perhaps a few days.

    I'm not saying changing is impossible.

    Another obstacle is the lack of knowledge about ourselves. Most of the time we have a problem, something is bugging us, we can't really pinpoint the cause. Let alone put it into words to explain it to somebody who perceives the world differently.

    And we don't care. Empathy only goes so far. We're egoistic and resentful. It's part of being human.
     
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  13. xtacy4

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    Quality time and physical touch :)
     
  14. duffy

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    Yes, we are who we are...best to just embrace that !!
     
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  15. teamster145

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    "Sex begins in the Kitchen" is also a good book.
    I think being a good husband is finding out what makes her tick and providing that. It is different for every person. I am lucky to have found a woman who can put up with me. I try but I fall short in many areas.
     
  16. CLE32793

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    Wow, yes everyone and every relationship is different but the fundamentals are the same.
    • Love
    • Trust/honesty
    • Compatibility
    • Respect
    You get the idea....you can't have a successful relationship without those things. No man will be the perfect husband just as no woman will be the perfect wife. It is a constant work in progress.

    I like how @xtacy4 put it in her post, you must know what makes your SO happy, I'm not a flowers and gift kind of girl, I need quality time, touching, words of affirmation...that is how my husband makes me feel safe and loved. After you know what makes them happy all you have to do is follow through.
    March will be 23 years we've been happily married. Have there been ups and downs, of course but I wouldn't trade our life for the Powerball jackpot right now.
     
  17. sensless

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    Congratulations on the 23 years!
     
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  18. Lou_x

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    one that listens..
     
  19. teamster145

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    Did you say something?
     
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  20. CLE32793

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    Thank you!!!! :):):):)