What is wrong with me...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by R_Black, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. R_Black

    R_Black New Member

    Mar 19, 2007
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    Some of you may remember me from the jealousy thread. I seem to be the only one with any jealousy hangups in my relationship. My g/f recently through me for a loop with her blunt honesty and understanding. She says she'd have no problem if I were to be intimate with another women under the condition that I was honest with her and came to her first and told her that I saw someone I felt like having sex with. I however told her I don't think she'd really feel comfortable with that and that I believe her to be an honest person she may ultimately be lying to herself. She then told me that she knew the difference between sex and making love.

    I was then informed that I'm the only one she wants to spend the rest of her life with but that our perspective on things was different. She was in a relationship before that was really confining and hasn't had quite the life experiences that I have. She said maybe our thoughts on the issue were different because of that.

    Now I'm feeling out of sorts because I didn't think she'd be as open as to say what she did about intimacy with others. I want to believe she's that understanding and enlightened on the subject but something gives me pause. She's never lied to me. So should I take what she said as gospel or what? I now wish she had never said anything because now I can't get the idea out of my head. The situation makes me uncomfortable and uncertain but also excited.

    What's wrong with me?

    (I'm sorry if I've confused anyone.)
  2. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

    Apr 18, 2007
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    California, Hayward
    Well, I am a really jealous person also and this doesn't confuse me at all. Sometimes when my S/O (GF) Leaves out of the house, College or any other activity where I'm not around to help her out beacuse of things that happened to her around age (16-17). I can't stand the fact of her going anywhere without me, knowing she isn't safe beacuse we have a real trashy neighbor hood/town and all of it's inhabitants are immigrants that like to whistle, touch, rape etc.
    So you can naturally tell that that really does bother me, I don't know if you go through sleepless nights like I do wondering and imagining what those bastards did to her.

    But, yes when they do say that they want to spend the rest of their life with you, I suggest looking at everything that proves that like for example, crying in an arguement take into consideration on what the arguement was about, how much she cried, how about sacrifices? Does she make all of the sacrifices for you, and you know with that whole confined relationship that she went through. I am thinking that maybe, look towards the future not the past beacause the future is what you are able to change. And that, if there isn't any lying whatsoever, confront her about what happened and analyze it down to the little perspectives that started it. And try and nitpick at those until you two are both satisfied with you're answers.

    I am not sure about the whole, blunt honesty thing and that if you were to tell her you wanted to do this or that with another woman. I am also going to be bluntly honest, Sex is something sacred it's a bond between two people that shouldn't be shared unless this is an open relationship and you can come and go as you please.
    But in that case, if you're so jealous why would you want to do anything with another woman in the first place, it just sounds like you're allowed to do something with another person and she isn't.
    Sorry if I interpret this wrong, but this is what I got out of the ordeal.
    And she may be applying that rule stated above to you're relationship.

    Feel free to discard any of the false information I put,

    Hope that helps!