What is LOVE?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Thorn, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. Thorn

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    What is love?

    I am starting this thread at the risk of sounding as though I'm a "mushy" guy. So what!

    I know, from reading this board, that there are many members here that really love there partners. But what is love in your words? How do you KNOW its love? Try to put it in words. (If that is even possible.)

    ---------------
    I think love goes beyond feelings, beyond being able to put it into words in a forum thread, but we can try anyway.

    I love my wife! I loved her when I asked her to marry me and I love her (a lot latter) now. You can love someone now and go through some bad things in your relationship and decide to leave and end it. Or you can decide to love your partner through those bad times and find out how deep your love really is. I don't even know if love can reach the deepest realms if it doesn’t ever experience those "hard times."

    To sum it all up, somehow my wife has become a part of my being. I've given her reason to hate me, and vice versa, but since she is a part of me we get through those hard times and come out stronger in LOVE. Because most of us, deep down inside "love ourselves" we can love our partner once they are truly a part of us (our being).

    Any way that's the best I can do describing love with just words. So how would you describe LOVE from your thoughts and experience?
     
  2. Dreama

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    From my experience, (and I've not had much, only being eighteen,) love is compassion and trust fused with a lot of kindness and understanding. When you love somebody, you are willing to accept them for who they are, good and bad, and love them for those things as well as all the other things that make them so special. Love is seeing the beauty where others may have only seen ugliness, and knowing that your SO is the only one in the world you'd rather be with.

    So, that's mine.
     
  3. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    I've the most profound answer for you guys!

    Love - is a word we invented.
     
  4. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    John Denver › Perhaps Love

    Perhaps love is like a resting place
    A shelter from the storm
    It exists to give you comfort
    It is there to keep you warm
    And in those times of trouble
    When you are most alone
    The memory of love will bring you home

    Perhaps love is like a window
    Perhaps an open door
    It invites you to come closer
    It wants to show you more
    And even if you lose yourself
    And don`t know what to do
    The memory of love will see you through

    Oh, love to some is like a cloud
    To some as strong as steel
    For some a way of living
    For some a way to feel
    And some say love is holding on
    And some say letting go
    And some say love is everything
    And some say they don`t know

    Perhaps love is like the ocean
    Full of conflict, full of pain
    Like a fire when it`s cold outside
    Or thunder when it rains
    If I should live forever
    And all my dreams come true
    My memories of love will be of you

    Words and music by John Denver
     
  5. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    And, of course, the ultimate love is found in the Bible in John 3:16

    "For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son that whosover believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life!"
     
  6. Aj`

    Aj` New Member

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    well man best as i can describe it would be this ( from my experience )

    I would rather do the something i hated doing with my SO then something i loved doing with anyone else. I Want more then anything in the world to wake up next to her in the morning , to come home and see her at night, and to spend whatever free time we both have doing whatever we want.

    IDK i mean its kinda cleche but I would die for her without giving it even a second thought, whenever she is hurt or sick i wish it was me, i didnt even pray or really believe in god till i met her.... the list can go on and on.

    Those are the feelings i feel everyday and thats how i know i am in love.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    There are different types of love, and a relationship built on only one of the three different types of love will generally have problems.

    The best way to understand how you can love a person in many ways (friend, attached, erotic) is to have a few relationships so you know what love isn't. Then when you find the someone special (someone you are attached to, friends with and erotically inspired by), then you know what it is.

    A few people mistake erotic attraction for 'love' and the relationship ends up being shallow and doomed to failure. Others mistake friendship and shared interests for love, and the relationship ends up passionless. Of these two sorts, the passionless relationships seem to be quite common, from what I see and what I observe.
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Sad to say, but so true. I call that one a "Utilitarian relationship". Two people who live together (usually have a child or two), and go througgh the motions. Technically, they are simply living under the same roof, but with no deeper, spiritual connection. Sex is done (sporatically) only to meet a physical need. Working, cooking, vacations, school activities....Just about everything in their lives is done, only for "need" - not desire, or passion, or caring.

    The inner turmoil of both partners is evident, and neither one knows how to break out of the cycle of complacency (or even cares to, usually).
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    Romantic love comes to us in various levels and can (obviously) be defined differently by everyone. I first experienced the purest love I've ever felt with my late wife after we'd been together for about three years. There were always things that bugged me about her -- she wasn't the best housekeeper, she liked to let dirty dishes sit on the table for awhile after dinner, she spent too much money on shopping sprees, etc. -- little things that just irked me a bit. But we were deeply in love so I quietly tolerated her "shortcomings".

    Then it dawned on me that I loved her for being exactly who she was and for doing whatever she did. From that moment on nothing she did bothered me, and instead of wishing she'd do things the way I thought they should be done, I began loving her more every time she did something differently than I'd have done it. No matter what she did, I loved her more for it. Had she cheated on me (which she'd have never done), I'm sure I'd have loved her for that too -- because in my eyes she could do no wrong. All her actions defined who she was, so I loved her and all she did, unconditionally.

    I haven't quite gotten to that point with my "new" wife (of 7 years), but I'm working on it. And I know that our marriage won't be perfect when she does everything to my liking, but rather when everything she does and everything new I learn about her makes me love her more.
     
  10. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    okay okay, I'll make a real contribution. This is a quote:

    “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.”
    Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    You don't need to do big explanations. The quote above says it all.
     
  11. Thorn

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    While missing my sweetheart (she's out of town with daughter and new born grandson) late last night I penned these lines and PMed her my thoughts:

    -----


    There are times when I can see,

    through all the world's hurt and pain.

    There are times when I can truly feel,

    all the love that has no shame.

    There are times when I can hear,

    All the sounds I never could.

    There are times when I can stand,

    on the grounds where heroes stood.

    If I could chose the times I want,

    and only live the times when I'm above,

    Then I would chose to live all time with you,

    For you have taught my heart to LOVE.
     
  12. Dreama

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    Thorn, you are making me miss my sweetums. We'll see each other today, but it always seems like forever until.
     
  13. AnonymousOne

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    Fuck if I know ... I'm still trying to work this one out.
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I can only reiterate you can't really describe true deep and emotional love (beyond infatuation, beyond being close friends who got married 'cause it seemed logical) unless you experience it. And then you understand it, and you understand what drives your love for each other, but you still can't describe IT.

    I think the closest is the little things that bring absolute joyous pleasure, like seeing her in a new red shirt that so matched her brown skin and just dying to tell her how good it looked, and her genuine response. After two decades together, this is love!
     
  15. Thorn

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    That's true cbrmale. Like I haven't seen my wife since I left our daughter's house last Sunday. My wife stayed to help out with the new baby, our daughter's first. Today she will be back home around dinner time and I feel like I used to when I had a new girlfriend back in high school. I can't wait to see her, to be with her, to touch her, etc. Love is about the little things. Its millions of these "little things" that make up the big picture of love. Love is the memory of many little things from its past, and the hope to feel that there will be many more times in the future.
     
  16. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    I'd better get busy writing poetry again or I'll have to hand over my SF Poet Laureate title to Thorn! That romantic rascal is workin' on a Nobel Prize for Literature!
     
  17. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    how about a thread of love peotry? Everybody can post a poem they've written. Would be a nice collection. We could start with Thorn's poem.
     
  18. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I think that would be nice.
    Hell, all the lurkers who think that all we care about is 'sex...sex...SEX!' -

    We can show everyone our other side! We have feelings - compassion - depth of character - spiritual bonding -

    AND SEX! :lol
     
  19. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    There's is nothing more thrilling, more spiritual, more Divine, more Christlike than a sexual orgasm! And the afterglow when you are AFO! (all fucked out!)
     
  20. Laurenn

    Laurenn New Member

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    "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness."