what is going on?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by hurley, Nov 17, 2004.

  1. hurley

    hurley New Member

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    I havent posted on here in a while so let me give you a heads up. My gf and I have been together going on 2 years in Dec. We have been sexualy active for almost a year and shes been on depo the whole time.

    Here is my problem. Every so often my gf gets into this mood where she feels that shes falling out of love with me or she feels that her love is slipping away. Though when this happens, either a few days later or a week later everything is fine. We have thought about going on a break and trying to figure it out but we arent sure. We have tried to not see eachother nor talk to eachother during that week to. Anyone have any tips or had something like this happen to them? I need info on what I can do, or she can do, or both of us. Thanks all
     
  2. Logger

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    Dear Hurley,

    When are you going to get an avatar? You certainly have been putting up some thoughtful posts recently.

    I went through a stage like that of deciding not to see my girl friend for a while, then always getting back together. Although eventually we broke up over her seeing another guy.

    I think it is best to have a relationship, in which if the feeling of the moment is to be alone, or do something by yourself, that should be OK. It should be recognized, that that is a feeling for THIS moment, and it is OK. We will see each other or call each other, or whatever, when the moment is passed.

    A Husband and a Wife can do things separately. The clinging that you may feel, maybe you can work an releasing sooner, so that clinging is not an issue. I had a wonderful girl friend once, and the sooner I agreed to let her do something solitary, the quicker she would come back. When I would try to say we should stay together, she would go further, longer.

    Know your feeling of Love and Fidelity, and express those feelings. Just if GF asks for some solitary time, extend her the trust of the power of your love.

    Blessings
     
  3. hurley

    hurley New Member

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    Thanks for the replay logger, Donno when ill get an avataur =P.

    I am not the only one wondering why she runes into these feelings. She is the one that gets affected by it most. I feel that is one of those stages you run into every so often just to remind you of things in the relationship. My gf has tried to ask others about why she gets like that and no one has really been able to help her so i thought it would be a nice try coming here and see if i could get any info from here. I am very supportive for her and if she feels not to see eachother for some time, I go alone with it because I want the best for our relationship.

    Most people say never blame it on PMS *from what i have heard* but we have talked and we do find it has been around those times. I am not sure of it yet but i plan on keeping an eye out for when it happens and what is going on around it. If theres any questions to help you think, feel free to ask. Thx again.
     
  4. Logger

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    Dear HURLEY,

    At least two types of love have been fairly clearly defined. the Love of Infatuation, which gives a giggly, silly, happy feelings. The other type of Love is Agape, which is the committed type of love. The Lover of a mother or father for a child is not always filled wit rapture, but the Agape Love is a committed love, of a dsciplined character.

    You may wish to note your own cycle of feelings, and see if you are in Agape or in infatuation, as days, weeks and months pass. One idea is that the Agape of each partner will sustain the realtionship, as each partner cycles through infatuation and discontent.

    So you might keep check on your own feelings of Atlturistic Love, Agape, as disappointements or doubts come up in the relationship. At the same time, you can help GF understand her feelings, and coach her to enhance her good character traits, as many women are interested in marriage in the future. The reputations we establish for ourselves when younger, may influence the choices and opportunities which we receive in the future.

    Blessings