What happened to my foreplay?!

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Mystic, May 14, 2006.

  1. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    SO and I have always had a great sex life. We've always been able to tell each other what we want/need. There has also been lots of foreplay, up until recently. Lately he's been comming to bed, sticking his hand down my pants, then pulling them off for sex...ummm wait a minute?! :eyes I've rolled over and gone to sleep on him more then once this week. I have flat out TOLD him, that nothing turns me off faster then him jumping into bed and going straight into my pants. He just doesn't seem to get it and I'm getting frustrated.

    I don't mind the occassional quicky, or just getting him off, you know, but jeeze it takes a little more then that for me.

    I'm one of the lucky ones, I can get off with just intercourse very easily, but I have to be raring to go before hand ;) I have told him this, yet he still goes straight for the quicky, every night for a very long time now. I'm at the point now where I don't even want to have sex because not only do I not get off, but I certainly don't feel any "closeness" or passion.

    Come on guys, tell me, why do you do this to us women?! :yell
     
  2. Krof

    Krof New Member

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    My first thought is: Because you let us. It's not like you have to have sex. If you don't want it, then just don't do it. And if he rapes you: cut his dick off.
    Problem solved.

    Second thought: Go have sex with him in the ways he doesn't like it when he doesn't feel like it. Just rub your crotch against him when he's watching sports on TV and don't stop until you get off.
    Problem solved.
     
  3. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    LOL Krof!!

    I don't have sex if I don't want it. The problem is that I want it, but I'm not getting what I need. It's not even that I'm looking for hours of foreplay or anything either...just a little effort is all. I do it for him.

    As for your second though...he never doesn't want it :p
     
  4. Joe

    Joe
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    It sounds like he isn't really enjoying the foreplay you've been having for one reason or another. Have you been reciprocating? Do you show your pleasure? Do you watch TV while he makes advances? When there was foreplay, did it normally lead to intercourse?

    The reason I ask these questions is because there's not a whole lot of foreplay between my wife and I either -- not like I'm used to. I think I've forgotten more about foreplay than she ever knew. Why? Because she doesn't respond like the women I was with before her. I'm not really complaining, and she hasn't complained to me, but it's changed the way I used to make love, and sometimes I feel like I no longer know what the heck I'm doing.

    I don't know why your SO has changed, but if my wife asked me the same question that would be my answer. Look inward first and ask yourself if you've done anything (or failed to do anything) that might cause the change. If not, you and your SO need to have a long, frank discussion. Don't point fingers; just tell him you're concerned and that you'd like your love life to improve. (Making love is an art. As such it's never "perfect", because it can always be improved upon.)
     
  5. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    I have always shown my pleasure, and make sure he knows when he's doing something right. I also LOVE reciprocating, but even now if we're fooling around and I give him oral, he'll get off and that's it. He'll go to sleep or grab the remote to watch T.V. It really makes me want to do that more often :eyes

    We have both been really busy with work, and we are moving at the end of the month as well. I think that's how this all started, we were too tired for anything crazy and had a few "quickies" and a few more "him" nights where I wasn't really in the recieving mood. But even since then, it's been all about him.

    I'm going to think more about your post, I have to get the lil one supper. Thanks for the advice!
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I have an idea..... after he gets off on his little "All-about-me" orgasms, pull out the vibrator, or dildo... right there - while he's watching TV.

    Throw the covers off - cuz you want to make sure he sees your desire and your unmet need.

    Then - go to town. Try (though it be hard) to ignore him ... his shock ... his chuckles .... Make noise! Lots of it! Don't stop till you orgasm, and several times if you can.

    I have a feeling he will get the message. And if not, at least you have relieved your sexual tension.
    ---------------------
    And do this EVERY time it happens.

    jmho
    :rose
     
  7. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    ROFL Rose!

    I LOVE that idea...I'm not sure if I'm bold enough for it though. I think I'll definitly pull out one of my toys to finnish the job next time for sure though! I wonder if he'll get the picture? lol.
     
  8. igor

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    if that doesn't do it, then each time you orgasm with your vibe, yell out some other guy's name!!!!!! (just kidding).
     
  9. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    Blah, another night of no foreplay. I was too upset to even want to get off afterwards. He was trying for sex, I thought I'd try to steer him towards a little warm up first. I went down on him, which he seemed to be enjoying, but then he pulled me on top of him for intercourse, I rolled off and tried to "play" a bit, but he just got on top of me. Oh well, he seemed to enjoy himself, and at least he stayed with me afterwards and stroked my hair. I think he knew I was upset, not that I tried to hide it.

    Just makes ya feel kind of used. :(
     
  10. Thorn

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    From your first post: I have flat out TOLD him, that nothing turns me off faster then him jumping into bed and going straight into my pants. He just doesn't seem to get it and I'm getting frustrated.

    Sounds like he didn't listen or take you serious when you "TOLD" him.

    From your last post: and at least he stayed with me afterwards and stroked my hair. I think he knew I was upset, not that I tried to hide it.

    Sounds like he is starting to get the message finally. Just keep the dialog going. He may be listening now. At some point soon you should have a talk about what you want and need from him. Try talking about it at a time when you are not about to have sex.
     
  11. Krof

    Krof New Member

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    Uhm. A BJ is sex already, I'm not sure if I'd consider that foreplay at all. Foreplay to me (a man :p ), would be kissing, hugging & touching. I mean, I'm sure he sees that as sex too, so to him that was an invitation to go right to fucking without no foreplay. Or does that sound insane?
     
  12. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    I know you're right, but I'm dreading this converstation. We used to talk about sex a lot, but I never had any "complaints" just new ideas and whatnot. How do I bring this about with hurting his feelings? I don't want this to get to the point where I just won't have sex with him. Ugh.


    I agree totally Krof, but I know he likes to have his *ahem* boys played with as a part of foreplay. I was trying to make it enjoyable for him (and for me as well, I love doing it), and maybe he'd return the favour. Not really a full on BJ, just playing around. No such luck. Perhaps you right and he saw it as an invitation for sex. Hmmm....I wish I could think like a guy for just one day.
     
  13. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Awww - hun - you two need to go out. Get away from the bedroom. Get away from the house. Go to some quiet place (restaurant.. bar..) where there is a little corner 'niche' you can go to. If you can enjoy a glass of wine or beer, order it. Then... look in his eyes, and preface everything with your love for him. Tell him your heart-felt needs. Be that "sexy little bitch" that he loves, but give him that "puppy dog" look every now and then.

    I think you will find out from this encounter exactly what is in store for you both in the near (and far) future. You are special to us. I hope things go well for you. :)
     
  14. Joe

    Joe
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    Hmmmm... That's not how you described it in your first post, but if you're giving him head first, I can see why he'd want to go straight for the sweet spot. When my wife gets me worked up too much (just short of orgasm) I REALLY want to get right at it. I do ask, one way or another, but the answer I want to hear is, "I want you in me".
     
  15. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    What's not?
     
  16. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

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    You're right Rose, we've set up a sitter for Saturday night, but still don't really have plans. That's as good of an opportunity as is going to come up.