[Ask a Guy] What compels you to be a player?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by FlirtyChick, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. FlirtyChick

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    Ok guys. How many of you fuck someone just because you can, and fake giving a damn because it gets you laid? I have never been one for casual sex, even though I flirt like a crazy woman, but how can you enjoy something that is intimate to a woman and then not give her the time of day afterward? Just bored and curious.
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Well, I'm not a guy but I've often wondered about this too. I've always found it rather amusing and a bit sad that some guys are willing to fuck women that they probably wouldn't want to have a relationship with (let alone speak to) under normal circumstances. If she's ugly they turn her around and take her from behind so they don't have to see her face. How nice.

    I can accept that men are able to consider the purely physical act of fucking as separate from an intimate loving relationship. Women can do that too. However, I think that most of us have to at least like the guy first.

    So guys, do tell. Is getting laid really that important to you? How can you have sex with someone that you don't even like?
     
  3. elonlyBuster

    elonlyBuster New Member

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    From my point of view the 1 time I was "getting around" it wasn't because I liked getting sexual favors or anything, it's more of the fact that most girls give off this "you'll never get me vibe" and it's more on the line of me wanting to say "Hey I got you". There's more but um running on a lack of sleep but that was my original reasoning.
     
  4. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    to be honest i did this a lot when i was younger between the ages of 17 and 20 i was out with a different girl every other week or so, often more often than this, myself and a friend of mine used to go out together with only 1 intent and that was to get women, and we became a pretty succesful duo. I think like most things that involve failure at first it is a rush, the possibility of getting turned down at first gets the adrenaline going, then of course there is the obvious benefit of regular sex without any constraint on your social time after that sex. Then there is the obvious benefit of learning, every woman became a challenge of if you could get her in to bed and if you did how quickly you could learn how pleasure her well. I am not going to deny at this time of my life i was very selfish when it came to women, i paid very litle attention to their emotional needs although i was still very attentive to their physical needs. But i had no interest in going out with them after that the next day i would be out in the pubs/clubs with my mates again, looking for the next lady.

    I would say this has made me able to commit to my current girlfriend in a much greater way and i feel helped me to understand the physical side of women much better than if i had just been faithful to 1 or 2 women in my life. Since i have been with the same girl for the last 6 years i feel i am now learning to master the emotional sides of women much better and i think to be honest this is much harder.

    But what i will also say is i had a lot of fun in that period of my life and would not take it back for anything. I still find it great joy in how different all women are and yet brilliant in their own very personal way.
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    The thought of banging a different girl every night just doesn't appeal to me. And I simply couldn't do someone that I thought was ugly...I'd rather visit my right hand if those were my only two choices. I've had the equivalent of a one-night stand three times in my life, and I really didn't enjoy it very much. For me, I guess I just have to know and like the woman as a person, and have some sort of connection with her to really enjoy sex with her.

    I wouldn't say that I've ever gone without sex for any extended period of time (except for maybe sophomore year in college). The number of different partners I've had is relatively small I think (less than 10), but with that small number of partners I'd say I've had sex quite a few thousand times so far.

    BD
     
  6. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Well, if the penis functions properly it can be done. But, for me personally I simply wouldn't enjoy it at all if there wasn't at least something that I liked about the girl.

    BD
     
  7. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Oh, shit. I thought this was a thread about guitar.



    I have never enjoyed 'just getting laid'. I gotta know her a bit and see if there is an attraction. If there's not, sorry. Ain't happenin'.
     
  8. FlirtyChick

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    You cute little shit! :)
     
  9. cbrmale

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    Fucking someone and not giving a damn does not equal casual sex. My casual sex experience has always been with girls or women who also wanted a casual sex experience, so it was mutual. Before, during and after, even though it was a known short-term encounter, we always got on well together, and the moment was shared well beyond sex. In many of those encounters, the intimacy was much higher for the night and morning that what many long-term couples in a rut of boredom would share.

    Certainly the women I had sex with were looking for sex, and looking for a partner to share sexual enjoyment with. According to my son, this is as true today as it was in my day.
     
  10. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    this doesnt mean that you care, there is a big difference between physical and emotional intimacy which im sure you know. I do think though FC's original post does say something though about pretending to give a damn and i think this is an common misconception, people who are up for casual sex dont pretend they are looking for something different, or certainly i never did.
     
  11. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    If both parties enter into the arrangement with the understanding that is just casual sex and neither of them has a problem with it, then there's nothing wrong with that and I don't have a problem with it. What gets me is how some men will say anything, promise anything, in order to get the woman in bed and then drop her like a hot potato after ward. Jeez...that's almost the definition of a politician, isn't it?
     
  12. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    I'm not a total dick. I can tell when a girl just wants a night of fun or is looking for something more. I don't pretend to want something more just to get her into bed. I go after the ones who just want a something casual.
     
  13. FlirtyChick

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    Well, I always seemed to avoid the pickup artists in my prime. I can see through it! I have never been one to have sex with someone I did not care about, so I was just musing on how men, or women, for that matter can just do someone and have no feelings about it later. I dont mean that I have to be head over heels in love to bonk someone, but they at least have to capture my interest, and it is a bonus when they make me wet without trying!
     
  14. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Agreed. Some men (or women, for that matter) will say anything they think you want to hear to get laid. If both are up-front and agree that they are engaging in casual sex, there's really not problem with that IMO.

    BD
     
  15. cbrmale

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    For the time we were together I cared for them a lot; I was discerning with my sexual partners. But I never pretended I was looking for something other than a sexual encounter, nor did my partners. There is a misconception about playing mind games, but the reality is that both partners are up for it.

    Like you I had a lot of fun during that period in my life, and I'd do it the same way again. Good first-time sex with a new partner is quite an art; every woman reacts and responds differently, and it is quite a challenge to get yourself in synch with her and she with you. Also you can learn a lot if you're prepared to go with the flow of your partner. I ended up doing a lot of things that I didn't even know existed, things that were not talked about or published in books at the time, and had a wonderful time experimenting! In turn, some less experienced women learned from me too.
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Good post. If you both agree to it and don't deceive each other about your intentions, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don't believe in deceiving people through mind games...playing "the game" of getting their attention, creating attraction, etc., is a totally different story, though.

    BD
     
  17. FlirtyChick

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    I am always myself with people, and say what I intend and mean, even to my chagrin at times. I realize I never got "picked up" because I sent off a vibe that said, "No, I am not going to just fuck you for the fun of it." When I was younger, I thought it was because no one wanted to pick me up. I yam who I yam, as Popeye says. Now, everywhere I go I get attention and stares, and I don't try. Maybe it is because I am older and multiorgasmic. Does that get projected?? LOL I finally have the wherewithall to be suggestive and, yes, flirty, but it is just that. I am very protective of my sexuality and my body, and I am proud of that! I just wanted to see how men thought of women they could just sleep with on a whim. Now I know. Thanks guys, and gals!!