[Ask a Girl] What can guys do to be sexy to a woman

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by MILF_Rider, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    I find that I spend a lot of time thinking about what I would like my wife to do or wear that I would be turned on by, but I don't want to be selfish yet when I ask my wife what I can do to turn her on, she really doesn't seem to know. She loves getting cunnilingus and sometimes thinking about that is a turn on for her, and she gets turned on by non-sexual things like me working on the house or taking care of the kids - but that's not what I'm looking for.

    I'm looking for stuff I can do during intimacy that would be things I can do for her, like could I do a dance for her and if so how? Like for her to dance I like hip rolling and arching that emphasizes curves and makes legs look long...
     
  2. Meee

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    Telling your wife what you like and what you want to try adding to your sex life (without criticizing what she already does) isn't selfish. It's for her too. It can give her confidence; it can inspire her ideas; it can make her feel sexy; it can show her that you're thinking and you care and you're being open.

    Also, you said she's turned on when she sees you working on the house. The next time you have to work on something in the bedroom, have her watch you from the bed. :tup
     
  3. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    I hate to say things that might be discouraging to the idea of having kids because it's one of those things that is rewarding beyond its challenges, but I'm guessing you don't have any and it's a major factor in the whole "please get this over with, I'm tired" thing that kind of means we have limitted opportunities because:

    1) During the week, in the morning it's get ready for work and school, then it's work during the day, she picks up kids and starts dinner, I come home, kids keep us busy a couple hours, then we watch TV and she falls asleep.

    2) On the weekend, we either need to occupy the kids all day and get time for it after they go to sleep or we get a babysitter and the kids are home and we go out to somewhere that isn't somewhere we can do it and we come home to the kids and do it after they go to sleep.

    I've had some opportunities to come home at lunch on a day she works from home and those have worked well.

    But the thing is that her having interest in watching me work is something that doesn't seem to work out and really is kind of boring to her. But it works out that if I do a lot of stuff for her eventually she's had enough of a break that she isn't worn out by the kids and she notices.

    But I was hoping for something I can do for her that would do for her in the bedroom what things I want to ask her to do like a lapdance for example...
     
  4. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Ok we have the kids issue - by the bucketful!

    Even the idea of my hubby dancing round the room for me sends me into fits of giggles, sorry.

    What to wear to turn me on, nothing special, just clean and hold your posture up.

    What to do? Romance her, see that the chores are done (or she will say 'but I've still got to do') take her hand and close dance to imaginary music with her, not her thing? Take her hand and silently lead her upstairs.

    Compliment her, undress her, be fascinated by her, show her she is your everything. During intimacy, sing to her.... hold her close and show her how precious she is.

    Well, it would do it for me!
     
    #4 Moon, May 3, 2011
    Last edited: May 3, 2011
  5. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    act like pepe le pew!

    or learn to play the guitar, write a song (or just use one already written) and sing it to her.

    cant sing? well crap i'm out of ideas.

    i wouldnt go the chip n dale route though
     
  6. andretti

    andretti New Member

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    Ah, but maybe that should be what you're looking for!

    It's been said that, for many women, foreplay starts in the kitchen.

    I'd put it this way:

    • You want to turn her on
    • You know what turns her on
    So, you should do what turns her on!

    I know that's not quite the answer you were looking for, but my advice would be, don't go searching for something that isn't there.

    That said, you might write her some flirty email about going down on her, since she likes thinking about it. You might also consider mood lighting in the bedroom, if you don't already have it. (We have one lamp for reading, and one with a 25-watt colored bulb right next to it...)
     
  7. andretti

    andretti New Member

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    LOL @ the "Chip and Dale" route!

    C: How about if I go down on you?
    D: No, I insist, let me go down on you first...
    C: Oh, no, let me go down first...
    D: Oh, no, I couldn't do that...
    C: Wait! Why don't we try 69?
    D: What a marvelous idea!
     
  8. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    It's not that I don't want to do the non-sexual stuff, it's just that I'm looking for sexual ideas to do as well. One of my obsessions was about trying to make better videos of us. We have had a couple good ones and a lot of crappy ones, bad lighting sometimes, I tried POV and most of it is out of frame, and so on... So I've got all kinds of ideas on what to do to make it better and I've told her about it as much as I've been able to catch time where we could talk about such things, and one of her responses was "What about doing things I want?" with of course no explanation of what that meant. She's like that, expecting to be a mind reader.
     
  9. Hot Wheels

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    What makes you sexy to a woman?.....

    Do the housework.....they can't resist a guy that does housework:tup
     
  10. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    This is where men go wrong. Women don't feel lust the same way we do. It takes different things to set them off. We get turned on by what we see. Women get turned on by what we say and how we act (non-sexually). Filming your sex-life might turn you on, but it might do nothing for her.

    Andretti hit the nail on the head. What might seem extremely boring and non-sexual to you (like doing the dishes) might be a wild aphrodisiac to your wife. It seems like you are trying to fit in what she likes with what you like.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    I've got two kids, we manage. You have to make a huge effort to take up as much of the house and kid duties as possibe. My wife was a stay at home mom for 12 yrs, but when the economy tanked and business slowed, she want back to work. I rearranged my schedule to do at least half the cooking, and I do almost all of the kid running. Monday and Wed night lacrosse, Tue and Thur Roller hockey, games every weekend 45 miles from home, from August to April Ice hockey Mon and Wed and games on the road every weekend with games from 100 to 550 miles away. Then toss in orchestra and academic competitions. I know what it's like, not just time but the thousands and thousands of dollars. Ask her what turns her on, my wife loves it when I unload the dishwasher or something like that. Backrubs and body massages send her through the roof, no matter how tired she is. Experiment, talk, if she's like a couple of women I know(and I hope she's not), put on a muscle shirt and slap her around. Not recommended but whatever floats your boat I guess. Hug and kiss her for no apparent reason. Show affection every chance you get. My wife was tired on valentines day, a bit frazzled, both kids were little 4 and 2, so I took the kids and took them to a hockey game. With 5hrs travel round trip and a 3 hr game, she had the house to herself to relax and rest. The next night she damn near ripped my dick off. Sometimes its the strange stuff that works.
     
  12. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    WHen I post a thread asking women for ideas to do for my wife in the bedroom, suggestions about doing housework and so on really doesn't answer the question I asked. And I didn't ask in an outside the bedroom context because it's not the mystery to me that the in-the-bedroom context is.

    So if it's really necessary to get the off-topic subject matter out of the way, here we go.

    Every day I wake up at 6 AM with my wife and make coffee, feed the cat, feed the dog, clean the litter box, unload the dishwasher. When the kids wake up I make all the beds. Whenever she has been able to wait until I get home I make dinner. I take care of the kids every evening after I get home until I give them their baths and they go to bed.

    My wife just had an 8 day trip to Israel with her mom and sister during which I had to do all of the above and take time out of work in the mornings to take the kids to school every day. Damn near every weekend she has something she has to do that takes up most of Saturday such as going to a half marathon with her mom. When she doesn't have something going on, I arrange a babysitter so we can go out to a movie.

    After the kids go to bed we watch House, Chicago Code and Fringe when we get the chance. She falls asleep at about 9:30 PM, I stay up until midnight working on projects.

    We bought a house for $25,000. We moved in a week before Thanksgiving last year. In the time prior to that, I gutted the upstairs and removed old insulation and dangerous wiring. I replaced leaking gas pipes and reran all the drain lines. I replaced the roofing, including rebuilding the rotted roof structure over 2 dormers. My brother-in-law helped me tearing off old shingles for 2 afternoons. Otherwise, I've been the one-man-crew doing all the work.

    Since we moved in, I've been hanging drywall, insulating, rewiring and installing the foundation that this 92 year old house does not have. I've done this work mostly between when she falls asleep and when I go to bed so it doesn't take away from the time I spend making life easy for her and/or spending time with her.

    While she was in Israel, I put up gutters, started an electric project to upgrade the electric service and move to a new main circuit breaker panel and run electric to a subpanel in the garage, and put up more new drywall. I also moved 2 trailers full of car parts from my parents garage where I was storing them between houses and helped my dad with his garage sale, taking in $1000 of my own towards my projects.

    Tommorrow a contractor is coming out to tear out the driveway, the next day his plumbing subcontractor will replace the sewer main pipe connecting to the city sewer. This will be the first work done on the house that isn't being done by me.

    Ya wanna know what really turns my wife on the most that I could possibly do outside the bedroom? Ignore her!

    And I know it, but it just doesn't seem right to me to ignore my wife so I rarely do it. I'm sure there's a question here that needs to be posed as an "Ask a girl".

    But that's not what I'm looking for because I thought the question I had asked would maybe have an answer. I guess maybe women don't know what they want in the bedroom.

    Maybe men are scum so much so that women just accept that men want things in the bedroom and it's so much the norm that nobody even thinks about what a woman wants, they just take what they can get, and that aside they just don't expect anything for themselves and thus want to just get it over with.
     
  13. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    Yep, I agree with you. The more loving and caring I am with my girlfriend the less sex I get. The more distant I am, the more I get.

    I think it's the rule of scarcity. When a woman feels you are slipping through her fingers she will use all her wiles to turn your attention to her.

    When she has you where she wants it's more like: 'Why chase the bus when you've already caught it?'
     
  14. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

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    I think nothing ...

    for me .. if a woman is not attracted to me for the way I normally act .. I dont care about her ..:eyes