Well this is a first..

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by WC1989, Aug 19, 2014.

  1. WC1989

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    Alright.. I recently started dating my best friend. Everything has been fine however we decided to take our time sexually due to not wanting to rush and ruin things between us after being friends for so long.

    Things have recently been starting to get hotter. During which he tells me he's never given oral before. This does not bother me, however I've never been with a virgin (in the aspect) before. He does want to pursue oral. I said that it's fine, I'm in no rush.

    My dilemma is how can I make this a fun comfortable experience for us both? Any tips and suggestions welcome. I'm much more sexually experienced to say but I'm stumped on this one.
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    I would just make sure you're clean and don't have an infection.
     
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  3. HotForHoney

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    How about watching porn/oral together?
     
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  4. skinnyminnie

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    Two of my partners were virgins when we met. Both gave me oral for the first time and they were both good at it. I think if he has a good attitude you will be fine because he's willing to learn. You get to teach him exactly what you like.
     
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  5. Doitagain

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    If he starts and does something you don't like or isn't as good just be careful what you say to him. He could get embarrassed or offered and scar him a bit. But other than that be honest with him and teach him what you like and I am sure it will get better and better
     
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  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    Tell him before that you wish to help and be the teacher, and do so with feedback during.
    He will appreciate if he is like me and can receive directions.
    you will know when to let him go on his own type thing.
    Let him know that too, that it's good and want to let him be in charge doing what he does.
    In time he will come up with his own imagination, give him ideas to try. Just like everyone else, experimenting.
     
  7. 12barblues

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    It's so simple... yet so many have trouble communicating about their sexual preferences. My GF and myself... After sex, we would just talk about everything... What we did , what we liked , what we would like to try... And what we didn't like so much....
    But I think it's important to talk about it AFTER ... Not during. Unless u like to do teacher/student role- play?
     
  8. Joys

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    First off, dating a good friend might be tricky:confused: but might be exciting and useful in this case as well. Since you have been friends for long, I assume you both are not shy and intimidated to talk things openly.

    So, he does want to pursue oral and him being inexperienced does not bother you. As AGFUNK said above, keep clean, take a shower, smell pleasantly but not overwhelming. Offer yourself to his mouth, opening your legs and preferably playing with yourself. He will catch it by instinct, like a dog goes to the food you give:p. He does not need to be taught but you may need to guide him to do things you like most. Talk to him while he eats you, but not in a pornographic manner like "oh yeah, that's it, right there (WHERE!:eek:?), make me cum etc. etc." but speak to him, tell him what you like better. I've found out that my wife liked to be licked on her lips rather than her clit years after, I was stunned and asked why she didn't say this before. Don't let this happen.

    Power was gone when I was writing this so I start over. IMO,don't wait to tell him AFTER, tell him DURING. We're not talking about penetration sex or any oral sex, we're talking about HIM eating YOU out. It's all about YOU, your pleasure and the pleasure he gets by pleasuring YOU so you MUST tell.

    Just my 10 cents - or 5 maybe:oops:
     
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  9. travis beck

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    I agree with telling him what you like. I had performed oral for years and it wasn't until I was with a more experienced woman who actually guided me during that I learned something. She told me yes more of that, not so fast, lighter, harder, more, faster and BAM! I wasn't offended, but relieved that she would actually help me out. That experience made me much better at oral.
     
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  10. danrb007

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    I learn so much about what my partner likes by watching her masturbate. The way she moves her fingers and if she concentrates on just her clit or put fingers inside will help me no where to use my tongue
     
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  11. WC1989

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    Thanks everyone for all the tips and advice! I look forward to putting them to good use and reporting back.
    Unfortunately Mother Nature has beckoned and held up progress.
     
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  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    all in good time
     
  13. SOOM3030

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    If he's expressing such interest in trying it, then all you have to do is give him the opportunity he'll be completely absorbed in the act and having fun. So, really, you just need to figure out what would make the experience more comfortable for you.

    And I can say from experience if you two are comfortable with each other and really do want to try things together, then you've got nothing to worry about. Just remember to communicate with one another, that's the most important thing
     
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  14. sandwich

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    Hello! I don't think we have ever met.

    My husband and I were friends for a long time before we started dating (about four years). We weren't best friends through most of that time for a couple of reasons, but we were friends all the same. My experience was that sexual things were easy to address because we already knew each other.

    It's good he told you early on. We got everything out at the beginning, and that has saved us from awkward things like discovering porn and masturbation habits by accident or not knowing what likes and dislikes we have and feeling afraid to bring them up.

    My thought is since he was up front about it that it will go rather well. That makes me think it would be good not to overthink it. Unless he is super passive or shy I imagine if you ask him what he thinks is the best way to handle the learning he will tell you. That allows you to show him respect. If you start by being too teachy that could backfire unless you know that is his preference. Part of it is a personality thing. Some don't mind being directed and some do (in all aspects of life). If he is a self starter type he may just have a go at it. I would bear in mind that if you have a lot of sexual experience and he does not that he could feel a little insecure, again depending on his personality. If you have already figured out what type of encouragement he needs outside the bedroom, the same would apply in the bedroom.
     
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  15. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    I absolutely agree with everything you said in your post, sandwich, except for this one line. I'm sure this applies to many, if not the majority, of people. But I know I'm an exception so I'm sure others are as well. My personality (in that sense) in the bedroom as opposed to in every day life are polar opposites. I'm typically a person who likes to make decisions and lead in daily life, where as I prefer to be told what to do in the bedroom. Part of it is a dominance thing, but in regards to instruction/learning moments the same holds true.

    Because of this, I'd go with sandwich's advice on asking him how he wants to go about it. Make sure he's comfortable and I think all will be well.
     
  16. sandwich

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    ^^^^^ Oh yes! I agree. I forgot about that probably because I am pretty much the same in and out of the bedroom. I suppose I like to be told what to do in the bedroom at times and other times not so much, and then out of the bedroom it doesn't matter to me whether I am in a leadership role or not. I have a staff at work, and I have a different sort of leadership style that is hard to explain.
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    Leadership style at work; nose ring and attached lead
    Leadership style in the bedroom; cock ring and flogging lead
     
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