A virgin. First I was gonna wait until marriage. So I waited all of these years. I couldn't ever find the right guy to give myself to really though. So then anyway I decided to just give up because, my sex drive has been feeling way too high lately and even more stronger than it ever had since I was 16. It was pretty high then, but now it's like really high and I'm 24. I don't feel like I'm ready and stable enough for marriage anyway. I mean I love my boyfriend and wanna be married to him eventually in the future. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think that maybe we should just go ahead and have sex. I mean I shouldn't just jump into marriage because, I'm wanting to fulfill my sexual desires. I mean there's a lot more to marriage than that and he's not even financially stable enough for marriage right now. So I guess we should just go ahead and do it. We're the same age. He's already done it before with one other girl, but never have I with any other guy. I'm so afraid it's going to hurt the first time. He said he would go easy on me. Man I just wish I didn't feel these overbearing sexual desires. Then I wouldn't ever ache for sex hardly at all. I mean why is it that I feel so hot, but when I actually think about his penis going all the way into my vagina it scares me to death. It's like I'm feeling all hot, but I'm afraid to have sex. Is it suppose to be that way? If my body is aching from sexual desire then why should I be afraid of his penis? What do I do? I'm scared to death, but my body is aching for sex. Is there anyway to slow down my sex drive or make my first time having sex anymore comfortable? I already know about lubricate and all of that stuff, but what if it doesn't help? I'm so scared.