Weird sexuality

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by TreM, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. TreM

    TreM New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Maryland
    So before I ask the question, I'll provide a little background to who I am, sexuality wise of course.

    Even as a kid, I loved girls. I like the way they looked, the way they talked, they were just different. Maybe it was because being involved in sports and Boy Scouts, all I was ever around were guys, but girls were just great to me. I had my first sex dream about this girl that I was introduced to when I was 6-7. Well, that changed around the time I was either molested or raped (repressed memory), and ever since then, I started liking guys, but not like liking them, just in a sexual way. The first time I realized it was when I first got into porn in the 7th grade, and when I went to school, in the locker room, I saw this guys penis and was kinda interested. He was embarrassed, but I couldn't help but look. I didn't understand it, I didn't like it, but then I did. I started watching gay porn, and for whatever reason, it was hotter than straight porn, so I got off easier, but I never really liked it. So throughout high school, I dated girls, and screwed with 3 guys. Never had an interest in dating a guy, I just wanted the sex. Where as, with girls, I wanted the sex, I was just always too nervous and I haven't done it yet.

    Fast forward to today, I have a love interest (or whatever), and we've been talking for a while. I wanna have sex with her, but I believe in making love with girls, whereas guys, I just wanna have sex. Well, my problem is, sometimes I go into fantasy land, and for whatever reason (PLEASE don't judge me, I don't understand this myself!) I've been having this fantasy of having sex with Justin Bieber. I find his new look sexy, in a sexual way. I don't understand this, can someone help?
     
  2. MordsithLove

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2012
    Messages:
    1,285
    Likes Received:
    172
    Gender:
    Female
    Sounds to me that your bi/bi curious.

    The Biebs...he is a cutie.

    I'd wait a bit, we have some great members here that may chime in. I however have no good sound advice.

    Oh and welcome to the forums!!
     
  3. Lifeloveahhhh

    Lifeloveahhhh New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2011
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Arizona
    No analyst here, but sort of seems like he is presenting to you as the best of both worlds. He is male, yet undoubtedly with a femminine, or at least androginous look. Be good to yourself and find a professional that you can truly sound off to about this co nflict within your beautiful self. Resolution will lead to you being able to discover your ultimate desires. Good luck
     
  4. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    Welcome to the forums.

    Justin Bieber is over 18, so fantasizing about him isn't a "problem" in any way that I can see. Stalking him might be a bad idea, however.

    Aside from that, I do think there are some other problems that would be good to work on. You seem to have an unresolved incident in your past that may have been molestation. This is something you should explore, probably with professional guidance. Also, you are aroused by guys and gay porn and so on, but you don't "like" it. You're uncomfortable with this interest that you have. That's unfortunate, because really it's a perfectly common and acceptable interest, even a very nice one. You might want to work on this discomfort that you have, so you can be more accepting of your own feelings and thoughts. You have the desires you have, so it's healthier and happier to be comfortable with them, to enjoy them, and even celebrate them.

     
  5. Anotherday

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2011
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    130
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Antartica
    I don't know how to even begin to tackle the issue that you may have had a traumatic sexual experience when you were young. That's for a professional and if you are truly struggling with these things, I'd only advise you to seek help.

    Outside of that, I wonder if some of the feelings you have of "liking but at the same time not really liking men" sexually isn't just a repression in your mind that having these feelings is wrong, dirty, etc. That maybe you do truly have these feelings but want to repress them and not fully admit them to yourself.

    It sounds to me that you are at least Bi-curious if not Bi. From my understanding there are many men who don't have the desire for a "relationship" with another man, but still harbor sexual desires for them, just as there are women in the same. I don't see a problem with this as long as the person on the other end knows this up front should you seek this out.

    There are many-many people out there that live very different lifestyles from the "norm". You may want to check out fetlife and do some searching under their groups. If I had to guess there's at least one there to suit what you describe for more support and insight.
     
  6. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    in your fantasy you can do whatever you wanna, in reality just the criminal law prohibits. this kinda fantasy is nothing to worry about. it seems natural to me if you'd continue to describe something that bothers you more detailed

    talk is the only way to solve the problem
     
  7. Essene

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,384
    Likes Received:
    75
    Gender:
    Male
  8. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    Essene..hun, care to share what that means?
     
  9. Essene

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,384
    Likes Received:
    75
    Gender:
    Male
    It's seriously the only "of apropos size" photo I could find.

    It's the Kinsey scale.

    KinseyScale.jpg
     
  10. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    The picture source says "Kinsey_Scale-he," so I guess that's what it is. It looks very Biblical that way.


    Edit: Cross-posted.
     
  11. Essene

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,384
    Likes Received:
    75
    Gender:
    Male
    I do have a problem with this scale though. I don't believe that anyone is strictly heterosexual or homosexual. We're all varying degrees of bisexual.
     
  12. Anotherday

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2011
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    130
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Antartica
    It's like Ron White, the comedian says:

    Talking to a friend that's homophobic one day and tells him he can prove that even he has a little gay in him.

    Guy says "No way I'm gay even an ounce"

    Okay, do you like watching porn?

    "Yeah"

    Do you only watch porn with only women in it?

    "Nah, I like to see a man and woman getting it on"

    Now, do you like to watch it if it's a fat guy with a little half hard pecker?

    "Hell no, I want to see a young stud with a big hard...........................Ohhhhh"

    Think about it.
     
  13. TreM

    TreM New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Maryland
    Hey everyone, thanks for the responses! I don't think it's a serious problem, or wrong for that matter. While I am very spiritual, I'm not Christian or Catholic or Jewish or anything that would imply homosexuality is wrong in any way. As a matter of fact, wild life tends to be homosexual in various events, and even find ways to impregnate themselves, so I wouldn't have a problem if I were gay. I just feel as if I'm not, and the only reason I like men are for the sex. To me, that feels wrong, to have sex with another human being for the sake of just having sex. Im a make love kinda guy, main reason why I wait for relationships to have sex. But guys, in a weird way, can get to me mentally. I love the females body, even more so than a guys, I don't understand it lol.

    And Justin, yeah, many may say a skinny guy is a turn off, but he's nearly perfect in my eyes. Which feels wrong, because I like nothing else about him except the sexual aspect.
     
  14. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    you see? your post is full of things that seem wrong to you. there is nothing wrong in it, that is where your problem is. I guess, your previous experiences influence your critical view on things. you gotta understand, if it is not outside the criminal law, it is not wrong

    thing is, all your problems are in your past. your past influences your today feel of a problems, but there are no problems today. you gotta talk to someone about your past. I guess, it is your past that bothers you
     
  15. TreM

    TreM New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Maryland
    Your name made me lol MrCock haha.

    I guess I'll have to huh? I've never had the opportunity to. Between school, work, and me trying to get into the Air Force, I just never thought to entertain it. Just easy to let it go, ya know? I guess I never did. I just wanted to address the 'issue' because I feel strongly about this girl I'm with now, and I don't want to drag same sex fantasies into our relationship if we decide to get married one day.
     
  16. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    now that is wrong
     
  17. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    I love same-sex fantasies. It wouldn't hurt my marriage one bit.

    As I said before, you desire what you desire. It's part of you. It'll be part of you when you're married too. If you get into a relationship with this girl, talk about fantasies sometimes. Her fantasies and your fantasies. She's going to have to know eventually because it's a part of you. If it ruins the relationship, then it wasn't meant to be, because you are who you are, and you can't (and shouldn't) change yourself for a relationship. But she might even like it, so take the chance. Go ahead with this girl. This issue will take care of itself.

    I do stand by my statement about getting professional guidance on the possible childhood molestation, and also your quickness to label things "wrong" and "weird."