We only have Sex when HE wants to!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by SayAnything, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. SayAnything

    SayAnything New Member

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    Every time I go to touch my boyfriend he thinks that it means I want sex. We used to have so much sex in the begining of our relationship and I have always told him how much I love sex. But because I love sex so much I feel that I have turned him off. So now I have to pretend that I don't want sex from him to get sex. I just dont think thats fair. whats the problem with me wanting sex everyday? Im a girl I thought that guys would love someone like me! Im afraid to try to initiate sex with him so I have to wait and wait till he is ready to have sex. Is this something that happens alot with guys? If the girl has a greater sex drive than the man is that a turn off?
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Only if the guy is a moron.
    Seriously. He may have real issues with 'contol'. It may turn him off if he's not the initiator - and that spells serious problems with his self-image. If a man has problems with his self-image, his 'partner' is really supposed to play his 'ego-booster'.
    It's sad, because you are certainly permitted to be a sexual, and sensual being. You should not have to hide your interest in sex, just to appease a man's lack of confidence.

    How long have you been together, if you don't mind me asking?
     
  3. SayAnything

    SayAnything New Member

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    only a few months. It's just werid that he was fine with it in the first place. but now its not fine. That was one of the things that he loved about me. Maybe he thought that he would like someone like me but really doesnt? also i tell him all the time that i was never like this with anyone else. He is the first guy that i actually want to have sex with all the time! that should be a huge complement! well you would think..
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    "Men" are complicated beings, honey!
    They think they want something.... till they get it. Then, BAM!!! - uhhhh- oh---- I guess i don't.... :yell

    But, in fairness, women are the same. it's human nature. We ALL think that we want something, then when we get it, it's like," ....oh well, it's okay, but...."

    He's "finding" himself, just like you are finding yourself. I would imagine that you will both be 'finding yourselves with other partners" sooner than you think.

    The main thing is not to think poorly of yourself. DAMN, I wish I had this kind of advise when I was your age!!
     
  5. SayAnything

    SayAnything New Member

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    thank you so much! you are awesome! do you do sex therapy at all? because you should!
     
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    Yeah, she does it here all the time, for FREE! (She should get paid for it; she's probably better than most who do!)
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    LMAO - I should get paid for the sex I give, too... but Thorn is poor, so I graciously do it for free! :lol
     
  8. Thorn

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    Oh Thorn pays out the ass for it baby! :ugh
     
  9. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    [​IMG]

    ....And what a nice ass, indeed!
     
  10. AnonymousOne

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    Geez .... [EVIL]Get a room you two[/EVIL]
     
  11. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Oh yeah, my homeboy, ALL us ol' married guys do! ;>
     
  12. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    They already did..a whole house in fact. ;)
     
  13. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Say Anything, To answer a few questions.
    1 Yes P&B is a sex therapist, so listen to her.
    2 Should you NOT want sex all the time.
    Well being a guy I have never encountered a woman that admitted to
    wanting sex all the time, But for some of us that would be great as
    long as it was interesting and not the same old thing over and over
    all the time, So try different things to turn him on.
    But as P&B said some men feel that they must be in control all
    the time. And when he controlls sex then He will want to completely
    controll you in ever aspect of your life, So be cautious about any
    long term relationships.
     
  14. SayAnything

    SayAnything New Member

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    Bighiker! thank you so much for your advice. I have noticed that we dont really try anything new so I will totally have to look into that. I'm also thinking that maybe it shouldnt be all about the sex. Maybe there needs to be more touching and kissing before going right for the bang.
     
  15. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Sorry, I just wanted to point out that it was Rose who said all those intelligent things and not me. I'm flattered that you think I have sex therapist potential, though. :)
     
  16. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Sorry, I just wanted to point out that it was Rose who said all those intelligent things and not me. I'm flattered that you think I have sex therapist potential, though.


    Yes P&B you do have it.

    Sorry about that Rose, You do too.
     
  17. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    You have part of it, Touching, kissing, But their is a ton of other thing that would catch his eye, Revealing clothing does it for me, teasing
    a little dirty talk and so on. I'm sure that if you go back a few pages you can find a thread on what turns a man on. And if you can't, start one
    and everyone here will gladly respond.


    But be advised the guys (and Gals) here tend to have dirty minds,
    but its all good isn't it.
     
  18. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Dirty minds. I don't know who on earth you're referring to! Hmph.

    To me it sounds like your boyfriend is a bit more emotional than the average man. I think that you need to make sure this man knows you love him beyond your sexual relationship. Do things that show him your love in a way that do not have anything to do with or any expectation of sex. Spend some time doting on him, without even considering that it might lead to sex, don't do it FOR sex, do it to show him you love him more than anything, even on the nights he says no.
     
  19. SayAnything

    SayAnything New Member

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    i was actually thinking the same thing today. I think he might think that I only want him for sex which is sooo not true. thanks for the input!
     
  20. schwa'd

    schwa'd New Member

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    I had the very same problem when we first started dating. Everything the girls have said about him maybe having self image problems, being more emotional than the average joe.... I just wish I had you guys then, that is soooo him. And like mel said, i think maybe he mistaked my high libido for just wanting him for sex. Not the case at all. It's not that way anymore and I think he's figured out that I'm here to stay!