I am on my second marriage and my wife of 6 mos. and I are very sexual. I have three children from my first marriage and two grand children. I am 48 years old. Enough said about my background. Last night my wife and I were doing a little pillow talk, and I actually asked her to remind me to talk to her when we went to bed. I told her my deepest most personal secret. (Nobody knows this but her, I have never shared this with anyone) I told her that as a boy, a neighbor boy, my friend grabbed me while we were goofing around, restling. He had apparently done this kind of thing before and I went along, yes, we did oral sex together at probably age 12 or so, cant remember how many times after that. Years later, with a long time friend, another neighbor, the similar happened, after bowling one night he asked me if I would be interested, now age 16 or 17. Again just oral sex with each other, just sex, no kissing hugging or any of that stuff, it was in my mind just sex, and I liked it. May have been something in he water in our neighborhood that inspired this... After telling my wife of this, which was a huge risk, but I felt with our sexuality I was somewhat safe. I havent been with a guy like that since I was 25 or so. She was TURNED ON and today is still reeling with the thought. We were up late talking about this last night, and when I asked, she said she would be interested in watching, no participation on her part, but probably curious to see it. She has never done anything like this so she says, and I do believe her. What do I do? I dont want to risk what we have as I love her sooooooo much and she does me. We have a really great loving and fun relationship. Do we keep this to fantasy or do we realize it? My friend from then is in NY and would not be available so we/I would need to find a willing third person. Not sure if that would even be possible or approachable. I am NOT gay, (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am brand new to this board and I am looking for feedback and input. Thank You!