Watching...ME!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Wellwudya, Apr 2, 2012.

  1. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I am on my second marriage and my wife of 6 mos. and I are very sexual. I have three children from my first marriage and two grand children. I am 48 years old. Enough said about my background.

    Last night my wife and I were doing a little pillow talk, and I actually asked her to remind me to talk to her when we went to bed. I told her my deepest most personal secret. (Nobody knows this but her, I have never shared this with anyone) I told her that as a boy, a neighbor boy, my friend grabbed me while we were goofing around, restling. He had apparently done this kind of thing before and I went along, yes, we did oral sex together at probably age 12 or so, cant remember how many times after that.

    Years later, with a long time friend, another neighbor, the similar happened, after bowling one night he asked me if I would be interested, now age 16 or 17. Again just oral sex with each other, just sex, no kissing hugging or any of that stuff, it was in my mind just sex, and I liked it. May have been something in he water in our neighborhood that inspired this... :)

    After telling my wife of this, which was a huge risk, but I felt with our sexuality I was somewhat safe. I havent been with a guy like that since I was 25 or so. She was TURNED ON and today is still reeling with the thought. We were up late talking about this last night, and when I asked, she said she would be interested in watching, no participation on her part, but probably curious to see it. She has never done anything like this so she says, and I do believe her. What do I do? I dont want to risk what we have as I love her sooooooo much and she does me. We have a really great loving and fun relationship.

    Do we keep this to fantasy or do we realize it? My friend from then is in NY and would not be available so we/I would need to find a willing third person. Not sure if that would even be possible or approachable. I am NOT gay, (not that there is anything wrong with that). I am brand new to this board and I am looking for feedback and input.

    Thank You!
     
  2. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm happy to know that you shared this with your wife and she didn't have a nuclear reaction!

    We can't really know how bringing this fantasy to life will turn out for you, her, or your marriage. It seems to work for some and not for others. Is she the kind of person who is understanding and forgiving? Or is she the kind to throw things that happened in the past in your face to make sure you/her never can forget?

    I like the thought of it myself. However, my husband is not at all attracted to other men, so that's out for us.

    I do want to caution you on a few things. AIDS is very real and MSM sex is the number one cause in the USA. It can be transmitted via oral sex. Visit the CDC website to learn more because you are literallty risking your life for an orgasam and fantasy. Also, your wife might not actually enjoy it in real life. Talk about it a lot.

    If you can accept those issues, maybe you can look at some vids with your wife and determine your perfect fantasy guy and then look around for him.

    I wish you the very best during the journey.
     
  3. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thank you for your response. I really have no physical attraction to men, I have never sought a man out and have only had the the two as a young man. It was fun and it was sex.

    I am not sure realistically if I could even pursuit another man, it would almost have to be another friend, someone I am familiar with, someone I trust, which in and of itself creates problems of its own. I dont think I could get "freindly" with a complete stranger, as you pointed out the disease risks are just too high.

    I would like to fulfill this fantasy with my love, but I am not sure it is possible. Sure is fun to think about though.

    I have a few close guy friends that I would consider, only thing is I would have to tell them this is strictly her fantasy and not mine. It may by one or two of them be considered. I also have the confedence that thay would not rat us out to others in our circle.

    My wife is awesome... Very trusting and very understanding and completley cool, if this is something we/I decide to do I dont see any reprocussions.

    That being said, if I were to proceed and get the balls to make the plans (with a friend, because honestly I dont think it could happen any other way) do I suprise her with it or plan it together with her. ie, she gets home from work at 4:30 everyday... am I on my knees when she gets home? Or would it be better to plan it and carry off to a nice hotel somewhere with dinner and drinks?

    I appreciate the thoughts from a female who "likes the thought herself".
     
  4. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm so happy to hear your wife is awesome. I recommend that you include her in the entire process. Your idea of a cool surprise might not be the same for her especially upon her arrival from being gone all day.

    Also, I think lying to a friend is a bad idea. Actually, lying in general goes against my ways.

    Talk to her about it more. Share your thoughs (all of them) with her. She is your life partner and is the only other person who will stand by you through thick and thin.

    Maybe a 3some is a way for you both to share this. You will be able to see how your friend reacts to you and your body language. Your wife could also take the lead and maybe "direct" something between you and he. She might like choosing the friend :)

    Also, expect reprecussions. They'll be some. Good, bad, or inbetween.

    Let us know how it goes!
     
  5. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Okay... If ever this comes to fruition I will tell the friend he is fulling "our" fantasy. You can bet there will be long discussions before ever moving forward with this.

    As far as a three way, I am not sure that she would go along, she did say she would not want to participate. That however may be her just protecting me and perhaps feeling me out so to speak on what I would allow. I would not be against a full blown threeway if she were interested. If she simply wants to watch and eat a bag of popcorn and have a beer or two I am okay with that too.

    What I would not like would for this to become a long term, or ongoing afair. If it is just a he and I deal or an us (three way) I would like for it to be a one and done deal... I think.

    Allowing her to choose the third party is a great idea, however it will be me that innitiates it with him as I dont foresee her participating in the negotiaions.

    You seem to be a wise lady, and I appreciate your input very much. This is not something a guy does everyday and I am very uncertain as to how to proceed. I do fully agree with you after thinking on it that this is something that would be best planned or at least agreed upon before we move on.

    Once again, Thank You.
     
  6. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    So you say your wife likes the idea a lot and you have no desire to hook up with a guy regularly. Then go for it and have fun. MAYBE your wife will be tempted to join after all if she gets all hot watching, who knows.
    Talk about it on what you are both ok with before taking the PLUNGE.
    I suggest going to a motel or somewhere not home, so when it's over, it's OVER, and be careful who you invite for diseases.
     
  7. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    We did again talk about it last night and she did say IF and it is a big if, she would want to choose the third party.

    She also did say, and I do not offer suggestions as this for me is a little scary and her input will in the end direct this. She did say she would participate but only on or with me, which is kind of a turn on. I do like the fact she wants to be a part of it. If it were to go farther than participation with me I would be good with that as well, either way very cool.

    We did discuss a hotel and starting in a hot tub after dinner and of course drinks perhaps many drinks. I am going to allow her to take the lead now on this, she does want it planned and not a surprise. If it happens, it happens, if not it has been a fun and exhilarating couple of days. Sex is always good but last night after our discussion was flipping awesome.

    A side note, I did a little research on this particular subject to see if I was a wierdo or something, it has been over 20 years since I did anything with another male. Not sure the reliabilty of the source but over 50% of males under the age of 26 have had a male on male encounter. Hmmmm......

    Glad it wasnt 5%! LOL
     
  8. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    I personally think there is nothing wrong, unusual, or strange about your desire to explore another guy. As a chick who is straight, I totally relate. The masculine form is stunning all the way around. I do hope you can find a way to let that go so you can fully appreciate the experience :)

    I can admire the female form as well. It's not even close on the desire scale, but I do find some girls very beautiful. I don't have many fantasies about them though.

    I think this could be a great experience for both of you because it sounds like you both are very mature and insecurities are not part of either pysche.

    Damn. If I could have an experiment with my hubby and another guy, I think my life would pretty well be complete! My husband is not into men and certainly not into sharing me. I am totally fine with it too. He is everything I need and I probably have more fun in my fantasy of that than I would with the real deal.

    Keep us informed!!
     
  9. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I know I and her by her words would enjoy the experience. I just wish I could pursuit it with my old friend.

    We have been texting all day today, I just got home from work, her last text to me was she is still excited by the thought of me doing it, not sure if she is picturing past or present. But she decided that she would not want it to be with our friends, she states she doesnt want to involve people in our circle and to a degree I understand that. It may be odd at the summer barbecue's.

    Now what? I have a real fear of diseases and will proceed with utmost precaution but how does one do that?

    "Hey mister, do you want to have a three way, or maybe only a two way, depends, my wife and I would like to bring you up to our hotel room so I can have sex with you. Oh and by the way do you have your current medical report stating you have no sexually transmitted diseases? Good God!

    I really want to do this with her if she is sincere which it appears she is, I just dont know how to go about it. Ugggghhhhh....
     
  10. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't think you can give oral without accepting an infection risk. I initially thought maybe a younger guy, but that's not going to help. The kid who won Project Runway was 21 and he had AIDs before he got on the show. Age won't matter. It's everywhere. Maybe the CDC website will have some recommendations? I don't know enough about the disease except that it's life threating and spread primarily MSM. I wish I could help.
     
  11. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I aoplogize but as I am not into all of this and have never been I am not following the acronyms. CDC I found on google but MSM I am not even sure what that is. CDC (Centers For Disease Control) found it, and get it even before I found it, didnt know what it was at first.

    I know.... I do, and I am not going to risk it, not ever. That being said this fantasy may fall by the wayside and be just that, a fantasy. She did say however if it did happen she would want it to be a surprise. She also said she doesnt think she would want to share me, and would NOT want it to affect our relationship negatively in any way. This leads me to beleive we should wo back, slow down. Perhaps this is left to fantasy.

    In part, the reason I desire and would like to realize this is because back then with the guy I was with we together fantasized about doing what we were doing with a women watching, we talked about it then and it was a turn on.

    Perhaps fantasy should be left to fantasy and what was, was fun but it is the past. I know she would like it, I really would like to try it again but it is what it is. Too risky and too difficult.

    I did too think of a young man... I agree, it really doesnt matter the risk is there and real. Frustrated about the whole deal. I am consindering doing it and using a protection but even she said, it doesnt taste that good.... I wouldnt know. LOL

    Still dont know what to do and would appreciate input. Want to, and I think she does too.

    Thanks
     
  12. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    MSM is men having sex with men. Sorry about that.

    I think you should try to find your friend. You have an emotional attachment to him and that's awesome. So much better than a random person.
     
  13. Wellwudya

    Wellwudya New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Because I cannot get the guy I was with and she would not prefer the close friends I have (due to the barebucue's and random visits) we discussed a random guy and protection. I would be okay with that. How do I find him?

    Thoughts?
     
  14. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    May I ask why you cannot contact your childhood friend?
    Have you been to okcupid? Not sure if the would work or maybe plentyoffish?

    Kinda wary about an adult "dating" site. It's so random and you take the risk of finding someone who uses them often and has had too many partners to count.

    There are plenty of bisexual guys out there. Keep you ideas open and please stay far away from Craigslist. Take your time and just maybe you'll find him at a bbq or other event this summer :)