Watching , being watched and comfort level.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by alwaystry, Dec 10, 2013.

  1. alwaystry

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    Little story , I used to be very self concious and I still can be once in a while but not very much. I used to not understand masturbating in front of someone or just watching them, I never could wrap my mind around sharing your partner or swinging in general. All in one year this changed for me and I love it all and I am not sure what changed. I know people that know some of my sexual kinks and such and they do not get it. Is all just being comfortable? Or accepting? Understanding? I can't explain why but I love to watch a woman masturbate for me and I get really turned on when a guy masturbates while watching me and my woman or knowing they masturbate on their own to this.( I ve been told they did,it was a turn on). Ihave had fmf, mfm , mfmf sex , all were a huge turn on and the typical guy fantasy is to have two woman at a time , it is amazing , no doubt , but the mfm was a bigger turn on to me and I amnot sure why. I thinkits because the attention isn't all on me. I don't know ,I guessmy question is what is your experience with this? How much if at all has it changed for you? I have been in conversations with people where they have said some people do these things because they lack confidence and are seeking it ,others because they are care free andcomfortable with who they are. Thoughts?
     
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  2. alwaystry

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    Yeah, it's long and rambling ,I'm all over the place. Lol sorry
     
  3. rcc8611

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    I'd live to watch a woman masturbate in front of me or masturbate while watching a couple have sex or fool around... It's very got to me also. Never done anything besides mf sex and I've fooled with two diff guys but was just us need to get a third invved soon holefully
     
  4. chikinlil

    chikinlil Active Member

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    hummmm well all i can do is testify for myself lol im a married middle aged male and in a very committed realationship ive never had any 3 ways of anykind really wanted to but the wife is like no way and im with you for some reason i wanted a mfm 3 way but she is pretty shure she is never going to do it i dont think it has anything to do with low selfesteem if it did u wouldnt allow another man to have sex with the wife its all about raw animal sex and thats all it means to me
     
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  5. Silverfox

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    I think what you're describing is further psychosexual development, also encompassing emergence of latent exhibitionist and voyeuristic traits. Voyeurism is a natural human urge, and exhibition is it's close cousin. Perhaps you reached a new level of development on your own, or your exhibitionist/voyeuristic traits developed on their own, but more likely, an emotional/environmental trigger is responsible.

    I've read your descriptions concerning swinging and threesome sex. Do you know what prompted you to engage in these activities? Was it suggested by another, or did you develop the interest on your own, or were you encouraged to try it by someone specific? I'd have to disagree with the notion that you lacked confidence in yourself, and that's the reason you started seeking multiple partner sex. I think it more likely you started engaging in these activities because of a new found confidence, or understanding of yourself, that made these activities more appealing and you then sought them out. Finding yourself enjoying them, and having some success would bolster your confidence, but I don't think it's source is to be found here. However, I'm not saying you didn't have some trepidation at first.

    Your preference for MFM sex seems to stem from a need to participate, but not necessarily to have the leadership role. I recall a comment you made that FMF sex placed too much pressure on you. This just indicates your preference, and what your comfortable with.

    Personally, I have had group sex when younger, but not with either of my wives. I am a voyeur and an exhibitionist. I agree, it's definitely arousing.
     
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  6. M10R19A65

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    Sometimes, letting go of preconceived notions about morality, whether conscious or subconscious, can open a lot of doors that were previously locked to you. That was a big part of my accepting things.
     
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  7. Anotherday

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    My wife and have been to a few dungeons and watche some of that action, but have not played.

    We both harbor desires to watch and be watched though I must admit I'm slightly worried about feeling uncomfortable at first. We're checking out a few clubs and hoping to plan a visit soon.

    As far as others joining us? Well we both also harbor those desires, but in discussions we both realize thats a big step to take in reality for both of us.
    I'm more apt to lean towards welcoming others to pleasure her with me more than I am interested in her sharing me. If we ever do cross those waters I would view it and I would want her to view it as a gift of experience and pleasure from me.

    The thing that entices me, just as our visits to dungeons is seeing people free without the hang ups. That in itself is a turn on. The thought that its all good and we don't have to worry about those things society has hammered into us.
     
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  8. kristilikestoswing

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    People's desires change over time. My husband and I talked about being with others for years but never did anything about it until recently. We met a couple and swapped one night after a little too much to drink and have never looked back. We have only been with two couples and one single man, a friend of my husband. It is such a turn on! After we are done, we all go our separate ways and my husband and I have the best sex of our lives. As long as you are open about your expectations and are willing to overcome some jealousy, it is a lot of fun.
     
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  9. StJock

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    I think it's just part of maturing and wanting to try new experiences. I've been wanting to watch a couple go at it for the past few months but I'm trying to find a way in as a single male. Suggestions?
     
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  10. ronnjenna

    ronnjenna New Member

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    The idea of showing my wife off is a huge turn on. I think everyone has a bit of voyeur tendencies in them.
     
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  11. HotForHoney

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    Major confession alert: I very rarely masturbate when I was married (even up to a year ago). I had a very low sex drive - very close minded.

    Anyway, being here, having some of my experiences the last year, I'm much more open.

    I have no problem watching my bf (if I had one) masturbate or for him to watch me. I am more open to semi/public sex.

    I would NEVER have sex in front of my friends.... However, if one of his friends walked in while I was giving him a bj, I wouldn't stop.

    I don't think I'd feel comfortable watching other people or sharing.
     
  12. JonJo

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    I have had MFM, with 'friends' at their invitation ( I had already 'participated' with her but he didn't know).
    I admit that as exhibitionism and again I admit as an ego trip I didn't mind stripping off and 'performing' in front of him while he watched - when she wanted him to join in, him being given a bj I didn't mind - but when she wanted him to join in (literally) that was me finished. The fact she wanted him in the 'back door', made no difference.
    As posted elsewhere my wife and I had sex in the presence of another couple (the same couple as it happens) and then there was no interaction, nor watching, that we were aware of. I found out six months after my wife passed that there had been some watching from one of the other parties, but that's another story.
    I have been watched having one on one sex by a group of women ('the girls') completely unknown to me and when I found out I went completely ballistic - although there were a couple of 'spin-offs' later.
     
  13. EnglishDad

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    Ive never actually been watched, but my Fiance and I did on a number of occasions have sex, whilst 43 females were listening ( while I dominated her ) It was a huge turn on, knowing they were listening and enjoying, as i fucked/licked her to multiple orgasms.
    A few of these females have wanted to join us at a later date, but we are unsure about that happening.
    Ive been in 3 way sex with others before in the past, but when i was single
     
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  14. Sandybeach

    Sandybeach New Member

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    This is interesting. My wife and I have played at the nude beach back in the dunes and both enjoy seeing and being seen. We've made friends with two couples there and numerous single males. We both enjoy giving oral while a guy watches and masturbates, sometimes we have full on sex and sometimes she will let a guy touch her body. I've seen her masturbate guys and masturbate for guys, even for one of my friends who unexpectedly turned up at the beach [after I told him where to find us]. He was very turned on to see her nakedness and she loved showing him. Nothing has come close to this excitement..

    Now I'm trying to find a single guy voyeur to watch us sunbathing naked in a field nearby.......
     
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  15. Joys

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    I love to watch a woman masturbate for me too, it's been only my wife since a long time but I just can't be very comfortable masturbating for her. I prefer her doing it for me and thankfully she likes that also while pleasuring herself.

    I also get really turned on when a guy masturbates while watching me and my woman. Done this a few times on cam long time ago. I found it was best to watch her masturbate for the guy on cam while he does the same for her. Wish she still wanted to do this again. But still, I do get turned on knowing they masturbate on their own to this and have had quite a number of tributes proving they did and I do love this in the absence of live camming.

    We have watched and been watched by a couple twice in real life and it was great although there was no sharing / swapping. Just the ladies got more "friendly" with each other but both being the jealous types, us husbands were just with our own spouses. We have not had the chance to experience physical fmf, mfm , mfmf sex - wife stii being reserved but like you I'd prefer mfm over fmf, having her being focused on.

    In my case, I don't think this is because of lack of confidence but on the contrary, being confident on your relation and wanting her to get more pleasures of sex and not only by you.
     
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  16. WS4

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    Closest the little woman and I came to public type sex was at the KOA the other year. Instead of a cabin we took the tent. People going up and down the street I know some could see our profiles got one verbal encouragement. Glad wife didn't hear it she would have stopped. I have to say it was a rush.as a side note H4H my wife has been working her way out of the place you were in she starting to loosen up pretty good mabey one day she will masturbate for me or with me before I die I hope
     
  17. AtkCCC

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    I was very self conscious the first time we watched/same room sex. Turn-on but I didn’t really know what to expect. Wifey’s comfort level was much higher than mine. Later on it became easier after the first few times.
     
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  18. 12barblues

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    Still looking forward to being watched someday..
     
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  19. BlueCollar

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    We've done this with another couple. Same room sex some girl on girl no wife swapping. It was fun. If we had the right situation again we'd go for it.
     
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  20. Mikey22

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    Good topic, Went to Florida once, With my wife and her mom,Stayed in the same motel room.Fucked my wife with her mom in the other bed,Wife said it was weird, I was turned on by it. When we first got married We lived with her mom, We fucked all the time, Did not care if she saw or heard us, When she got a boyfriend she did not care if we saw or heard her either,It was an interesting time in our lives.
     
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