Wanna be a sub

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Londyn, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. Londyn

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    I wanna start being a sub with bf...I never tell him no to sex no matter what or what kind of sex anal oral whatever.. We fuck anywhere if he calls I cum to him. But I want him to be more controlling bed like grabbing my hair more, spanking me , having me beg, shit like that ... Any doms out there that can give me any advice on getting him to become a Dom..he's pretty bossy now though so not. Problem
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    Just tell him.
     
    Doitagain and Redline1 like this.
  3. Anotherday

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    Sit down and talk about it.

    Set initial limits & expectations and go from there.
     
  4. nicelynoosed

    nicelynoosed Member

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    ... I'm a bit of a dom. I think of myself as a 'top', actually, but for most people that's splitting hairs. Consciously, intentionally taking control is about more than just satisfying myself, though. It means that I'm okay with being responsible for the other woman(usually my wife)'s experience.

    That's really tricky, since one of the most important things for a sub is to NOT have to say what they want. Doing so damages the power dynamic, giving them control when they just don't want to have any.

    If your guy is into erotica at all, there are two stories that get the point across nice and early, then spend a lovely, long time exploring how fun being dominant can be.

    The free one is called 'Oil of Roses' and is a series on Literotica. The other, 'Top Hunt' is available on iTunes. I'm an audio book junkie, but presumably it's available as an ebook too. As I said, these are a refreshing change from either the 'how to' bdsm manuals or the 'vanilla kink' romance novels currently in vogue. Good for doms and subs alike, they give an excellent priming in powerplay without over-intellectualizing things. Worth a shot.

    You could also try the 'active sub' route. Be on your hands and knees, back to the door when he walks in. Put sticky notes on yourself with suggestions. Wear pony tails a lot and then make a big deal when he pulls your hair. Put your hands in places where he'll have to move them, then give positive reinforcement when he puts your wrists where he wants them. Buy a pair of handcuffs and tell him to use his imagination.

    Or, just tell him that until you say the word 'red', that he should do whatever he wants to you. Some guys just need to know it's okay.

    Have fun, and say thank you when he does something you like.

    NN
     
  5. The_Dark_Prince

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    As the other have said have a talk with him about it, it may well shock him, but nothing ventured! Love to know how you getting on with this?