wandering eye

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by spin_74, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. spin_74

    spin_74 New Member

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    I've been dating the same girl for almost two years. The relationship is great on almost every level. The problem is that she physically isn't what I usually go for. She is a short petite blond, but my preference is tall thick brunettes. We have our best sex when I have a couple drinks and fantasize about ex- hoookups. Does anybody know of a way to help me increase my sexual desire for her? She means a lot to me and I don't want to end things because of something so shallow. I've cheated in quite a few of my last relationships and I don't really want to go down that road.
     
  2. JimmyBeans

    JimmyBeans New Member

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    Maybe ask her to do some sexy-making things for you?

    If she doesn't float your boat as it, get her to put on some hot pants (or whatever your flavour it) and shake some bits around, and see if that excites you a bit more.

    She doesn't have to do it all the time, once you've got some good imagery to work with you're set.
     
  3. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    To be honest. Every woman I know has fantasies and wants to do certain sexual things with her man that she's ebarrassed to talk about or ask for.

    Tell her that you want her to take a day, and write you a list of all the the dirtiest sexiest, most intimate fantasies or acts she's ever wanted to try and you'll do your absolute BEST to give her whatever she wants or asks for. No limitations and ABSOLUTELY no judgement. The freakier and more numerous he requests the more you'll love and be attracted to her.

    Se what happens.

    PS, if she gives you a list, you have to be ACTUALLY willing to do anything she asks for. It's kind of liberating. I suggest you try it.
     
  4. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    Preferences are just a way to limit yourself...Try being a little more open and accepting of who she is.You may not be her DREAM GUY either.Some of the best relationships usually are when we say to hell with our preferences and go with what works.
     
  5. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    The above posters are correct, of course, but I'm going say what I think Dan Savage would say -

    You gotta dump her.

    You not really desiring her is not shallow, it's a deal breaker. I think sexual compatibility is more responsible for a happy, successful relationship than, well, anything I can think of...

    Hey, maybe you can have FFM threesomes with that tall thick brunette and everything will work out?
    Maybe not.
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    I agree with these opinions.
     
  7. nurseharley

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    feed her mcdonalds everyday and make her dye her hair!

    unless you can just come to desire her the way she is now, i doubt its suddenly going to happen down the road. if its becoming a problem then, like others have said, you should probably end the relationship. if you really do love her too much to do that, then it shouldnt be a problem
     
  8. cbrmale

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    I find tall brunettes sexy as hell too! But really, a woman's build and hair colour are the least important things in a relationship, and especially when it comes to sexual desire. The most important sex organ is the brain, and how we use it. You say you get on well at every level, but is the sex you have good, beyond your desire for a taller and darker woman? If it is, then get over the fact that she's not your ideal mate. If you spend your life looking for Miss Perfect, you'll possibly end up alone and frustrated.

    My wife is not my perfect build or body shape, but she's a wonderful, wonderful woman and a really sexy one too! Insatiable in fact, which I love of course. For sure I adore tall and dark woman, the archetypical sexual temptress, but my short, sweet and sexy wife more than makes up for that in many other ways.
     
  9. spin_74

    spin_74 New Member

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    I appreciate all the good advice. Not sure that I'm ready to end things. Really I just wanted to get other people's opinions and I'm pretty satisfied with what I got. Thanks everybody!