Waaaaaaaaaaay too young for this to be happening

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by khscompst, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. khscompst

    khscompst New Member

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    Right down to business. I'm 36, sexually active, and am having problems that seem more like what someone 15 years older might be experiencing - basically having trouble getting completely hard, and then premature ejaculation.

    This has been going on for about 6 months or so, and I have no idea where it's coming from. Prior to these past 6 months, I'd actually been in a several years-long stage of the best sex of my life - able to last for as pretty much as long as I needed to and able to go several times a session.

    I don't think it's completely physiological...the "morning wood" erections are still pretty hard, it's just the ones that count that are often not up to snuff. I know some/most of it is mental - if you start thinking you won't get hard, you'll get nervous about it, and you get a vicious cycle. But the premature ejaculation - how is that mental? Even with blowjobs, I'm often done in a minute or two.

    I don't currently have a steady girlfriend, so there is a little bit of a lack-of-comfort issue with partners you don't know as well. But I don't remember that being a problem in the past.

    I've never tried Viagra, and would like to think I don't have to - that there might be an easier and hopefully non-medical solution to this.

    Any suggestions?
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Well i was in my mid 20's when i had the problem with not being able to sustain a full erection
    sadly there is no im to young for this to be happening
    Id say like others have in other threeads of this type, to go and seek some help with a therapist ( with your partner ) as a lot of the times its a mental problems causeing the softness rather than a medical one ( but you should also go and see a doctor have a few tests done, and also are you taking any form of drugs legal or other wise ? )
     
  3. Nobody

    Nobody Member

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    Not way to young for this to be happening

    I'm 26, and I think that that us guys put a lot less emphasis on emotional attachments to our partners than we should.

    When I'm with someone that stimulates me in more ways than merely the physical I have no problems with getting and remaining rigidly erect. However, I have recently noticed that when I am with someone who primarily stimulates me physically, and well lacks in other areas. It is not easy to get hard in the first place and stay that way.

    Typically women are considered to rely on more emotional/intellectual connections for good sex to happen, but I think men need it almost just as much.

    I don't think you're in need of viagra.
     
  4. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    These *can* be symptoms of heart disease or high blood pressure. See your doctor.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Probably just the mid-life crisis, Don't worry as that just makes it worse, But if you are an Diovan (blood pressure) or Lipitor (chlorestol) You can rightfully
    blame it on your medicine.
    Its all downhill at around 30.

    Hiker:sf
     
  6. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I agree with what you said, apart from the downhill at 30 ...
    Im 34 and still see myself as young, Im still able t odo now what i could 10 years back...somethings even better :)
    Ill agree that at 30 you have to work out more
     
  7. cbrmale

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    It is possible the PE and the ED are related, if you are struggling to get hard, or worried that you can stay hard, then you may 'push' yourself and end up coming too fast.

    You are right about the ED probably being psychological, and you have hit the nail right on its head. But first up you should see a GP and get a check-up of fasting blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure just to make sure.

    Assuming the physical check-up is okay, the best cure is to see a psychologist who can give you tips on how to focus on the moment, and help you to gradually work your way into sexual self-confidence.

    Viagra (or the more popular Cialis) may help, if you get semi-aroused, these ED meds can take you from semi to fully aroused, and you will be good to go. And being good to go, you may not have the performance anxiety of trying to staying hard and ending up coming too fast. At worst, it may help your relationship with your girlfriend. At best, it will help you with your counselling,and you can put into practice what the psychologist suggests. If it works, you can gradually cut back on the medication and see how it goes.

    I have physical reasons for ED, and I take Cialis for sex. Do not fear these drugs, Cialis is particularly good and very unobtrusive.
     
  8. maryf48

    maryf48 New Member

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    One of my partners has used Cialis a few times with me now. And it's fabulous.
    Don't expect to take it and bam up comes an erection lol It doesnt work like that. You still need sexual arousal. But once its up it is hard and strong and lasts long time.
    Good luck :)
     
  9. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I can't remember where, But I once read that the body
    has fully matured at 28 and from then its downhill. Of course we have some
    control over that with exercise and diet but even though we don't
    want to admit it to ourselves we start deteriorating at age 28

    Hiker2003
     
  10. cbrmale

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    Hiker,
    Yes you are right, we hit our peaks before 30 and it is downhill from there. Slowly but surely, it is a compounding thing. By the time you get to our ages, you notice the difference.

    Physiologically we are built for a lifespan of about 40 or so, and our primitive ancestors would have been lucky to last even that long!
     
  11. khscompst

    khscompst New Member

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    Thanks to all for your responses

    ...and just to give a little more info in light of some of the responses...

    I'm in good physical health...exercise regularly...resting heart rate of about 60, BP around 120/65...cholesterol 190 or so with good HDL levels.

    I agree that health takes more work once get past your mid-20s. As far as things all going downhill after 30, maybe...but I was actually more confident and performing better sexually during the age range of 30-35 than I was from 18-30. This recent downward trend in my performance actually started fairly abruptly. Then once I noticed it, I started thinking it was always going to happen.

    I also agree with the gentlemen ("Nobody") who mentioned that guys sometimes de-emphasize the emotional over relative to the physical aspects of sex. I have done that in the past, however, I'm not really big into one-night stands. Sex in a relationship where you are really getting to know someone has always been more satisfying to me.

    I will give things a few more months before I decide to try any medicines. I'm not dead set against trying them, but I'd like to see if this is just a phase, or lack of confidence thing, or some other temporary situation.

    Kronnie - you mentioned you had a similar problem in your mid-20s, but it sounds like you resolved it. Do you recall how/why you started having performance issues? How did you resolve them?

    Thanks again...I appreciate all your respones.
     
  12. valadia77

    valadia77 New Member

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    You sound like my boyfriends, but He blames it on how good it is.

    I am not sure if you have had any trauma (even trauma that you didn't recognize at the time) But that could be it. You may need to abstain from sex for a little while, or masturbate.
     
  13. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    Can't say this is universal, or am I the only on that is still as hard as when I was 20 ?
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I am as hard as I was at 20, but I can't get hard ten minutes after sex like I did back then. But it is more than sex, you work on the car and twist awkwardly and pull a muscle, or you work in the garden and your back hurts. It becomes a pattern, you're getting older and your body isn't what it was decades ago.
     
  15. SDAVIS

    SDAVIS New Member

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    Hate to say it, but it has been my experience that hardons aren't as hard with age and I also have PE. The prescription I got from a Dr. helped the PE ALOT. I also just don;t get how they say it's 'mental'. I think it is combo of physical and getting turned on beyond belief. Good luck..
     
  16. SexyScorp

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    Gents

    I would like to remind you that if we are talking about the downhill thing relating to sexuality.....that for WOMEN is untrue...

    We peak on average from 35 onwards...!!!!!

    Whereas men peak at 19....

    Hence my interest in the "younger male"

    lol
     
  17. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    Yep, peaked at 18 and still peaking !
     
  18. SexyScorp

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    Good for you!!!

    The "downhill" attitude is so defeatist.....isnt it.....?

    Optimism is so important to enjoy life to its full....

    Keep it up.......LOL!!!!!!!!
     
  19. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Wel take a look at my pics , i think at 34 im still pretty strong erection wise. and still have very god staminer....being 30 or 28 doesnt have to mean a downwards slope, just means for those that are your not doing the right types of exercises to keep lean and in shape, theres 80 year old men and women that do 26 mile running in marathons and still beat people 40 or 50 years younger than them....its all in the mind....you think your past it at 28 if you like.
    me i know im not.....
     
  20. barbie

    barbie New Member

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    I have heard that to be true.
    I've often wondered why.Don't seem fair does it.
    Could be guys are getting all they possiably can
    by the time they are 19,and girls are just learning
    what it's all about.:)