I met my wife a few years ago and we fell in love straight away. We were married six months after our first date. I adore her, and every aspect of relationship is perfect - apart from the fact she is not interested in sex at all. We have had intercourse 3 or 4 times in 4 years. At first it wasn't a big deal; our relationship was so good it didn't really bother me for a long while. Gradually it's got worse and worse for me. Now I'm at my wits end. She says she's "normal" and tries to put the blame on me by saying I don't do enough to get her interested. I'm perfectly happy to admit this IS partly the case - I definitely should do more instead of just expecting sex when I'm in the mood. The trouble is, unless I bring the subject up we never talk about it. Surely it's not 100% down to me? Usually if I bring the subject up she gets sad and moody and I end up feeling guilty and like it's all my fault....she somehow makes me believe I'm at fault.....then a while later I'll be thinking "how did that happen....again?". I rarely even bring the subject up anymore - it's just not worth the trouble it causes. However, I know that is counter-productive. She suffers from anxiety attacks and bouts of mild depression (she is on Zoloft for both of those) and always has to be in in her "cozy place" or she gets stressed. Unfortunately, an intimate physical relationship seems to fall into the stress category, despite my efforts to make it otherwise. I don't know what I can do about this. I used to give her oral sex fairly often and she would always orgasm (I'm 99% sure she wasn't faking...) but we don't even do that anymore - she told me she didn't want it anymore because she didn't enjoy it :uhh: We managed to have intercourse last week, which I thought went OK. But the next day she was sad and moody and said she didn't enjoy it at all because, even tho she was perfectly willing and seemed to enjoy it (somewhat), apparently I virtually forced myself on her and ended up having to admit I had been selfish.....just to end the fight Another problem is this; she's suggested some ways I could get her in the mood - let's say a massage. Well, I try and give her a massage and she immediately assumes that means I want sex. So, of course, she then becomes defensive and moody. In fact, I can do something totally spontaneous - I bought her flowers and chocolates and cooked a nice meal....I didn't even think about sex.....I just wanted to do something nice and romantic. What happened? She started acting on edge and told me she thought I expected sex in return :nerv I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so sexually frustrated it's killing me. I see a pretty girl walking down the street and I could almost cry it's that painful. I'm at the point where I don't know if it's my fault, her fault, both our faults.....my head is spinning. And I just don't feel like I can bring the situation up with her anymore - I can't handle the guilt, moods and friction is causes. And just for the record; I'm not some jerk. I'm a good husband - I'm caring, I'm romantic, I always put her first no matter what. So....some advice would be most welcome. Or I don't know how much longer I can go on like this!