Virgin pains.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by patrck17, Dec 19, 2003.

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  1. patrck17

    patrck17 New Member

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    Hello everyone I am obviously new to the forum. I am having problems with my girlfriend about sex. The first time we had sex it hurt her a lot, which we expected. We also expected it to hurt the 2nd and the 3rd time as well, which it did. It is going on 7th time and she is experiencing similar pains. She says that the initial penetration pain is the same as it was the first time we had sex, which scares us because if the pain isn't decreasing each time we have sex, it will never go away. However after the initial penetration, she describes the other pain to be decreasing with each occurance, so I would expect it to eventually disappear. So basicly its just the penetration pain that is worrying me. If anybody can suggest what the problem could be or a way to fix it that would be nice. By the way she is a petite girl, though I doubt that would matter, and even if it did, I would still expect the pain to deminish with each time we have sex. Just give me some thoughts if you can, feel free to ask questions.

    Patrick
     
  2. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    Patrick, Welcome to the forums!:)

    To answer your question, I honestly am not sure why it would still be hurting after the first few times. Personally, when I lost my virginity it didn't hurt at all but every gal is different in that aspect. The only thing I can think of that may be a reason that's causing the pain is that she is not wet enough. Do you engage in a lot of foreplay? You really need to get her worked up & then penetrate. I would even buy some lube & see if that helps. I've found that I get wet, but during foreplay my natural lube gets wiped away by the activities. If he tries to slide it when not wet enough, it does hurt some. It's not extremely bad unless he's really large. That leads to my next question...are you a largely endowed guy? If so, that may cause her some pain until her body adjusts to it. Just take it slow with her & don't thrust like a mad man until she's completely ready for it.
    Hope this helps you! Good luck!
     
  3. patrck17

    patrck17 New Member

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    First of all, thank you very much for your reply. However, I do not think that lubrication is the problem, nor am I unusually large in that aspect. I fall on the larger end of any "average" range I have ever read, but not unusually large, just normal. I perform lots of foreplay, and use lubricant. I really wish it didn't hurt her, she is beginning to become very turned off by sex in general and I think that is definatly not good, though I can't blame her, it is hurting her everytime. Again I stress that it is just the initial penetration that is continuing to be painful, everything else seems to be progressing as usual, that is the pain is diminishing. I realize this is an odd case, but hopefully someone will stumble along that has had a similar problem, and perhaps be able to tell me what it is and if it will go away. The only thing I can think of is to just keep having sex until it goes away, like it should. Of course you can imagine she doesn't like that idea as it has been discouraging so far for her. Thanks for the help guys.

    Patrick
     
  4. tsukassa

    tsukassa New Member

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    patrick is she relaxed before you engage in sexual activities? i mean is she loosend up you know like her vaginal muscle relaxed like ryan suggested or is she comfortable with the idea of sex? when you penetrate is she tightening her vaginal muscles? do you find her to be tense? if you find any of these problems to be arising any of them could lead to your problem. hope that helps ,tsukassa
     
  5. patrck17

    patrck17 New Member

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    She doesn't masterbate, and she doesn't like the idea of touching herself. She is a real traditional type asian girl. Been very sheltered, which in my opinion is ashame. I have considered the problem of her being tense durring intercourse, though I suppose I havn't really thought it would result in the pain she is experiencing. Last time we made love I noticed she tensed up durring foreplay, though I didn't pay it the attention I should have. I will be carefully observant in the future for these types of things. Thanks again guys.

    Patrick
     
  6. tsukassa

    tsukassa New Member

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    hey pat no problem man
     
  7. crusty

    crusty New Member

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    Hey man, my last Gf has this happen, I am about avg length but a little larger on the girth side (around 5.5 inches just a little more maybe) and she was also asian and didn't believe in touching herself before me, we found it took several weeks, alot of foreplay and understanding before she even started to feel less pain when I penetrated her, as long as you're careful and dont hurt her too much she should get used to it more and more, nothing to worry about dude just be gentle!
     
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