views on sex whilst in a loving relationship...but somethings missing!!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by justaniceguy, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    first of I know some of you will not be in agreement with this but this is a forum where you can express your thoughts openly...Ok...

    I have been with my wife for 20 years being she is 20 years older than me and I love her to bits.......But the sex side of things has dwindled away and when we do it its once a month, Sundays and usual position.....Yer sure Im talked to her about wanting more and she says she cant, this is to say the least frustration for me.........

    Do you guys/girls think its totally wrong to not have an affair but to stray only for the sex side of thing, not all the time hasten to add just every once in a while knowing the other person is clean and discrete............I do love my wife but Im getting frustrated, what to do....We all have needs!!!!.....

    Your opinions especially if you can visualise yourself in that situation......This is to both men and woman......
     
  2. boobjob

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    I am in a similar position. Don't stray. You'll find it empty and frustrating.
     
  3. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    so we shud sacrifice having fun my man, ?
     
  4. Meee

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    You've been asking this question for a year and a half in this forum. You're fishing for the go-ahead to cheat on your wife. You won't get it from most of the members here.

    You've also started threads about other problems in your relationship. Jealousy over chatting with people of the opposite sex seems to be a big one. I'm hearing insecurity in the relationship, fragmented communication, and other problems that are keeping you from repairing your marriage and moving forward together. Sit down with your wife in front of a counselor and have a series of discussions with her. It will help get out of the rut that you seem to be in.
     
  5. Mittimer

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    Marriage isn't about "having fun" and your comment right here shows your lack of maturity on this entire matter.

    As I've said in another thread where someone asked if he should cheat on his wife, a real man will not cheat, he will either work on the relationship or file for a divorce.

    You will not get the green light from any self respecting person to cheat on your wife. You should also see what a worthless person you will be if you actually do cheat. If you love her, you wont put her through that.

    If being in this relationship is all about sex, you should reevaluate the meaning of a marriage.

    Listen to Meee, see a marriage counselor. If you can not take the time to work on the relationship, end it. Your wife deserves more then a husband who cheats on her because he's not having enough "fun".
     
  6. notanewbie

    notanewbie Member

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    hit the nail on the head
     
  7. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Excellent!
     
  8. 12barblues

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    Without starting a new thread, ( although I think the ops question has been answered fully) can we turn the question into a hypothetical one? And ask, if you were unable to perform for your wife/ husband, would you simply expect them to go without? Or would you continue to please them sexually even if there were no physical arousal for you? Or would you want them to find someone to satisfy them sexually?
     
  9. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    your screen name is justaNICEguy. do you think a NICE guy would cheat on his wife? i've cheated and been the cheatee. Trust me, its not something you want to do. even if she never finds out, the guilt will eat you alive if you truly love her. and if she does find out, you dont want to see the pain on her face, and live with the fact that she will never trust you again. no one ever considers the consequences before they run off and have "fun".
     
  10. losixxx

    losixxx Member

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    I once was in a age gap relationship she was 16 years older then I. There was problems and beyond sex. Point being when you enguage in a age gap relationship this is one of those things that needs to be looked at.

    If your not happy then chances are shes not happy either sometimes it just hurts to move on and no one wants to admit a mistake. To cheat is obviously the wrong choice most have said the reasons why so why say again.

    If you truley do care then before you cross that line you just need to look her in the eye and say good bye. My oppinion your already cheated your thinking long and hard on this its not just a passing thought it seems to be a continue thought.

    Maybe you already have and just looking for someone to agree that it was the right thing to do. Give her freedom and give yourself freedom. If your age is right then she is 64 and your 44. Maybe time for her to find a man around her age that once a month is more then enough to satisfy her needs, and you find someone that can keep up with your pace that you prefere.

    Age gap relationships is a big give and take and understanding. You two might be better friends then lovers, if you cheat your going to throw that away also. Better to do the hard right thing then the easy thing that will end in a bigger disaster.
     
  11. Paula

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    :):)
     
  12. CaramelLady

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    I think that Meee has given you sound advice. Also relics girl has given you food for thought about the guilt you will feel.

    One thing to add is have you thought about what her needs might be. Are you meeting them? Have you talked to her about them?

    What about physiological issues? A visit and frank discussion with her gyn maybe in order.
     
  13. Meee

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    Wait a minute--you changed from UK to Russia, and from male to female.

    I'm guessing you just left this site. Some people scramble their profiles before they go.
     
    #13 Meee, Jul 1, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2013