VERY Strong Urges for X-Girlfriend(long)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by NeverEnds, Dec 26, 2003.

  1. NeverEnds

    NeverEnds New Member

    Dec 26, 2003
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    Ok, I try and look at myself as a decent guy. I consider myself faithful for the most part and have good healthy relationships but the big problem I have is with my X. I was with my X for like 4 years, and I could never ever see myself getting back together with her because we've been that way and we really get on eachothers nerves, except....

    We ALWAYS get together and have sex. Its like a drug...I have this specific sexual passion for her and only her. I don't really have any desire to really do anything with her (IE, go to the movies, etc) just want to get the clothes off and fuck. Its an awful cycle, We'll have sex, and the urge will be gone for like 2-4 weeks and everything is fine; then it slowly builds.. Constant thoughts and dreams of the wild sex we always have slowly creep up. I never ever call her or let her have my Cell number, but she'll either show up at the house of call my house out of the blue. I KNOW i need to hang up and leave it be, but I can't. Its like an addiction and I eventually give in. I know there's somthing wrong with this, but I don't know if it can be treated.

    Any help?! Please dont think im some sleaze ball, cause I already feel like one.
  2. Logger

    Gold Member

    Dec 6, 2003
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    X Encounters

    There are different types of relationships. In order to understand your relationship, I have found doing an astrolgical chart, comparing your astrology to hers, will give you a better idea of what is going on. Even if all the chart of compatabilities and conflicts seem incorrect to you, you will have a list of concepts for further thought and evaluation. All you need is your and her birth date, location of birth and the time of birth. Most astrologers can kick out that compatability program cheap. It will give you some ideas of your relationship's strengths and weaknesses.

    Unfortunately, what you describe is what is equivalent to many marriages. Certainly not all marriages. But interests that my wife appeared to share with me before we were married, and before we had children, she no longer shares with me. So in many ways, I feel just like you must feel. None the less, the Lord has created a love for me in this woman, and so my question is, how can I best enjoy the love that has been Given?

    If you find a woman who gives you the impression that she shares your intersts, and you get married, by what means can you be sure this woman will not change after marriage, or after children, or after some other events?

    Now that I am older, I am thinking about how well my wife will do as a nursemaid in my old age?

    My friend used to joke, "Well she may not be that good looking, but she can carry a good load of wash."

    What is it that she likes to do? Is there any way you can do things together? If she has other things do keep her occupied, could you see that as an advantage, that you could have a wife, and a lot of freedom to use your time as you wish?

    I can identify with the idea of feeling stupid for having a lover who refuses to share your interests, but so what?

    What are your options for making the situation so you could feel less foolish? My wife makes it home most every night. Can you live together for a while and see how it goes? As long as she is home by 2 Am, every morning, what is the big deal? Maybe she will even tell you where she goes once in a while. My wife has a cell phone, and she even answers it once in a while. I can alwas leave her a message, and sometimes she calls me back. Mostly I feel too stupid to leave a message.

    You are just finding out what long term love is like, before you have gotten married yet. What do you want her to change? What are your reasonable options for asking her to change? What are the phrases and timing of asking her to change? What controls and levers do you have over her? What will she change if you just ask her, with no power or promise? How do your ideas on religion compare?

  3. dabody

    dabody New Member

    Aug 26, 2004
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    London, England
    you made this post a long time ago, so I'm not sure if your 'problem' is still a problem. All I can say is that you should fight the temptation and don't meet up with your X. When you break up with someone, esp after such a long time, that temptation will always be there, but if you keep away from her, after a while the desire to be with her will leave you. Just try to be strong..