Very Sexually Frustrated

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Jeff0478, Nov 15, 2010.

  1. Jeff0478

    Jeff0478 New Member

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    Hey everyone, my name is Jeff and I am new here. I was hoping I could get some advice on something that has really been bothering me. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. We are both 23 years old. For the most part everything is good. However, when it comes to the bedroom - we have a few issues.

    We don't have sex very often. We both have pretty hectic schedules but I don't think that is the reason behind it. She is on birth control, and about half the of the month she tells me she "can't" have sex right now. Sometimes it may be even longer... She implies because she is still having her period. So, I have to be patient.

    However, I accept that and whenever she can't have sex, we will lay in bed and mess around and what not. However, it seems as though she never wants to ONLY satisfy me. She will start touching me or something, and then all of a sudden say she doesn't feel good. Or has to go to the bathroom. Then she cuts everything off. It's almost as if she wants to make a statement that if she "can't", then I can't either. Tonight really kind of did it for me. She was teasing me a bit, and then she told me "see this is how it feels for me when I can't". Then all of a sudden she tells me that she doesn't feel well.

    What gets me is that I am always more than happy to make her feel good and please her, and I don't get that same feeling from her. It's like it takes so much for her to satisfy me in the slightest bit. All of this is really beginning to boil up and I would really appreciate any input. :ugh

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    Normally I'm against the blanket advice that you should talk things through or get counselling and it will all be good, because the general development of female sex drive is a steady decline over the first few years of an established relationship. When men write about tales of how it used to be good and now it's rarely; that's to be expected. In your case it's quite different, although our information is incomplete. Was sex good in the past? How long has the excuse of birth control pills been used? It is an excuse, because birth control pills regulate a woman's period quite rigidly, unless something's wrong in which case she should see a doctor. Also, as many couples here will testisfy, you can have sex during a woman's period and it's quite okay.

    I think there are some problems there; more than we can possibly analyse. If you feel strongly enough about the problem, and your girlfriend, talk through what you would like to have happen, using the 'I' word as much as possible (I would love to have sex with you more often, I love the feeling of your body against mine, I love to hold you, and I would like give and I would like to recieve too).