Unhealthy beginnings

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by CuteDoll1, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. CuteDoll1

    CuteDoll1 Member

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    I'm going to first say that even though I know it was wrong I never really felt attacked or used by how I started having sex. I never felt that a crime had been committed and in the end no harm had been done to me that I am aware of.

    So the reason I post this thread is to see how many of us had what types of beginnings into a sexual world. As it would be apparent almost all of the members of this site, me included, love sex, sexual acts and talking about it. I am just curious to see if deviant sexual behavior starting with someone's sexual life produces a more active sex drive or a less active sex drive.

    So for me my older sister and I were at home when my step-father was having poker night with some of his friends. They were all getting pretty drunk and loud. My sister had a crush on two of them and decided she wanted to tease them and talked me into it. I didn't need a lot of talking since sex was become an increasing curiosity for me. We put on low-cut tops, skirts, and went and started teasing them. Well drunken men and teasing girls turned into my sister getting bent over the table as one of them started to fuck her. I was soon after and then they started taking turns. Now to be clear they used condoms, my sister and I never cried or tried to get away, and we didn't scream or cry but in a pretty good sense it was rape. Now like I said I don't look back and blame anything on this or consider it a dark and hurting memory and neither does my sister.

    So is it more typical for people with devious sexual beginnings to become more sexually devious or is it just a roll of the dice?
     
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  2. jollydead

    jollydead Member

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    I guess no. Often having early exposure to sex in some way which is not normal or coerced..can warp out mind about sex.
    Best is if we do not attach any guilt to it.
     
  3. whybother

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    Sounds like you were underage and sadly, that would be criminal.
     
  4. BiHubby

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    I was sexualy abused by a way older male family member from the age of 7 or 8 untill iwas almost 13!!!!! I know it had a lot to so with the fixation i have with kinky sex today..... Thank God I have NO thought or attraction to kid in fact i beleve the And think all pedophiles should be euthanized...
     
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  5. MariaMaria

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    I sense confusion in your post regarding that experience. One thing is clear, from a legal point of view, the adults (and an adult who was potentially a parent figure) committed a crime. How you and your sister reacted doesn't determine whether you were abused or not; their actions do.
    From a moral point of view, most people would find their behavior reprehensible.
    From a psychological perspective, you are the one who determines what the experience meant for you. You mention that it's not a dark memory for you and that's OK. Just keep in mind that sometimes theeffects of those experiences are more subtle than that. Every person deals with experiences in their own way, though. Just keep in mind that if it ever becomes an issue for you, there's help out there :)
     
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  6. whybother

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    This is well said. As someone who sees a therapist regularly just to deal with stress, I recommend talking to a therapist anyway. Most insurance will cover it. Its worth the co-pay even if nothing is wrong.
     
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  7. Redline1

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    Wow that's crazy!!
    When I was at a very young age I'll say before double digits. A female cousin that was still under age but at least twice my age took advantage of me more times than I can remember... I have somewhat put all of that in the back of my mind and have a hard time remembering all that she used to do to me..... She would have me do things to her also.... I do have pictures pop into my head about a lot of it and seems to get me horny for some reason... As an adult I know she was sick and twisted and I have some resentment towards her... She is no longer alive due to a very hard life she chose to live. Oddly though when I hadn't seen her in probably 20 years or so she showed up to a family function and I felt a mix of emotion. Like can we run to the bathroom so she can have me do things or I wanted to punch her in the face.... it's crazy how things can shape your tastes for things...
     
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  8. Unomike2

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    My first taste of sex with another person was at 14. It was a very pleasant experience and didn't make me any different than I am today. By the time I reached 14, I was already into panties and leaning with curiosity into a few other kinks. So hooking up with a older woman and learning more about sex, love and relationships only helped me understand the opposite sex better and appreciate the female of our species.
     
  9. Sagittarius84

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    I was in the single digits when I had my first sexual experience with a teenage girl. In hindsight yes it was rape but I don't really have any bad feelings about sex nor have I gone on to victimize anybody else so at this point it's really a non-issue.
    The biggest issue I think it caused that it sparked the interest in sex very early on that wasn't necessarily compatible with my pubescent status as a late bloomer. Basically I had normalized her deviant behavior as indicative of what to expect as far as physical or romantic affection from a female contemporary, not counting the fact that until my late teenage yrs despite what I could offer on an emotional level, that girls as a wholee, weren't necessarily physically attracted to my little boyish body and features.
     
  10. Sagittarius84

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    Yeah that was incestuous molestation...glad you dont seem to be to torn up about it, but it was what it was.
     
  11. Sagittarius84

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    I'd still think so, older siblings still tend to have power and dominion over the younger siblings. My Hope Is that she has atoned with you since as a result.
     
  12. Sagittarius84

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    I don't think too many pre teen or teen boys have any ill will towards a woman besides their mother that will willingly handle their penis...Doesn't make it any less abusive...
     
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  13. AJP

    AJP
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    I was fortunate as I was never traumatized like some of you. It's very sad knowing that children are dealing with this type of garbage.
    I was young but I was already curious about sex and I knew I enjoyed looking at girls in their bikinis so any exploration or sex was for sure mutual.

    It appears I was very fortunate.
     
  14. NedF

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    I was exposed to sexual touching when I was in the single digits by two female sitters and one cousin (by marriage - she wasn't a cousin at the time). I feel no ill will against any of them, but sort of wished it would of happened naturally when I was at a more appropriate age. Having to keep these sort of secrets from your parents can be distracting at that age. I had a crush on one of the sitters for the longest time.
     
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