Unable to cum

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by jjslpsg, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. jjslpsg

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    I have been having this problem lately. My girlfriend and I have been having some great sex, but I am unable to cum. I can bring her to orgasm many times, but I just can't seem to get off. This is very frustrating. Any ideas.
     
  2. Diego159

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    focus. that's the best advice i can give
     
  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    I would have that at times no matter how I wanted to cum. Causing to go soft.
    She would suck me back to full hard, but no cum, going soft again. (until she got brave to make me cum in her mouth)
    Sometimes pumping the shaft furiously would get results, quite the results.
    Then for some weird reason, often it would work again only if from a boobfuck.
     
  4. Ryan4chat

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    Try changing something up with the environment, whether it be a spontaneous experience, or a nice planned out date nite. Relaxed dinner, at an then a room with candles , soothing music, etc.
    Now that your thinking about it, an possibly concerned if you'll relax enough to cum, that might stop you right there or at least help hold you back.
    If you're feeling any added stress, or something is bothering you, that could be why you've noticed a change.
    Best thing is to breathe an relax, find things that soothe you or both you and your girlfriend.

    I know that when a girl is doing everything to make me cum, an I get tense because I'm not yet, that sudden worry can suddenly be exponentially powerful to stop an orgasm or maybe make it soft. For a guy, that can then feel very insecure, an possibly the girl because she thinks she's not turning you on like she used to.

    In short , it's most likely all mental, the brain can use stress in odd funny ways, although this doesn't feel funny at the time.

    Similar to the first advice... focus, but don't focus at all on whether you came yet.
     
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  5. afunk13

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    Are you on any medication or drinking a lot of alcohol?
     
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  6. Ryan4chat

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    Fuck.... now that I think back, I might have been doing one or both that night... :eek:

    And now I cussed today.... what the f...:rolleyes:
     
  7. SuperDilf

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    And that folks is what we call whiskey dick!
     
  8. Ryan4chat

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    Or a tequila variation!!
    :eek:
     
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  9. Ryan4chat

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    @afunk13 , I couldn't resist commenting :rolleyes:, but completely agree as this is a great question n suggestion for @jjslpsg
    :D
     
  10. jjslpsg

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    Thanks. I will try to focus more..
     
  11. jjslpsg

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    No alcohol. Wellbutrim and liithium carbonate are the med's I take.
     
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  12. afunk13

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    It's likely due to the medication. All mental health meds have sexual side effects. It's something you will just have to learn to live with if those meds are working for your mental state. My husband was taking paxil and couldn't cum. Only rarely and it took almost two hours for him to get off. If it bothers you that much talk to your doctor on changing them but that's up to you.
     
  13. sensless

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    Agree with afunk13. My man has that problem when he's on a medication and it isn't a mental health medication at all.

    The problem is that, even when he stops the medication, the memory of having "failed" makes him anxious and he can't cum for a while. Then it's back to normal.

    Unfortunately, now and then he needs to take it again. :(
     
  14. LuvAnal_Play1

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    I was taking an antidepressant a while ago (I forget which one) and had the same problem I would get aroused, erect and horny as hell and I could fuck for days but I just couldn't cum. Quit the drugs and holy shit, did I have a lot saved up.
     
  15. jjslpsg

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    Thanks I will talk to my doctor.
     
  16. danrb007

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    I was on Paxil during my divorce and was dating my current wife. I loved and it so did she. I could last forever. Sometimes I would have to jack off to finally cum but she would be more than satisfied by that time.
     
  17. jjslpsg

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    Thanks for the insight.
     
  18. MOBiGuy

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    While it is probably your medication, it wouldn't hurt to be sure and ask your doctor when talking to them if it might be an undiagnosed condition just to be on the safe side..
     
  19. Sagittarius84

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    A contrarian inquiry...is there any scandalous issue surrounding you and gf that could be giving you a mental block?
    When my wife and I started dating she was still married and I was on the tail end of 5yr relationship. I couldn't previously have cheated on my gf if I tried, but by that time, she had cheated on me and demonstrated on numerous occasions her lack of concern for me. Even still, for a good six months with or without alcohol, with or without weed, and hrs long sessions without any loss of erection, I couldn't ejaculate at all, with either my gf or my now wife, only thru solo masturbation..Once I officially dumped my gf, the mental block was gone, and I was shooting like Peter North for a couple months.
     
  20. Lovnflman

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    You didn't mention your age. As others have commented, alcohol is a leading cause of non orgasms and ED. Even without those issues, I had that problems at times because I was concentrating so hard on NOT coming. I wanted to please the Mrs and make sure I lasted a good long time. So after she had her 3-4 orgasms and she wanted me to cum, I couldn't. Still hard as a rock, but just couldn't pull the trigger. We'd take a break and cuddle or whatever, then start again and I'd be just fine!