Unable to cum/ lasting too long

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by blackwaterproof, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    Hey,
    My boyfriend and I just recently started having sex together, and for some reason he can't seem to cum. We've fooled around together before (without sex) and he's been able to ejaculate, as well as masturbating.
    But for some reason now he just can't seem to go. And it's not like he isn't aroused either, because he's hard the whole time.
    One time we had sex for something like two hours, and then went to jerking him off for another hour, and it still didn't work.
    So I was wondering if there were any tips? or any idea of why that would happen?
    thanks!
     
  2. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Tell him to stop masturbating... The sensation from his own hand is a lot different from anything he's ever going to feel with another real live person....
     
  3. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    That's the thing though, he doesn't really masturbate anymore. and even before we started dating, he only really did it two or three times a week. But since we're together now, he doesn't really do it that often anymore.
    Also, before we first had sex, he hadn't gotten anything (from me or from masturbating) for a few weeks, because he caught pneumonia. So you would think that there wouldn't be any trouble at all getting him to get off.
     
  4. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Is he able to masturbate himself... in my experience the number one reason for guys not being able to get off is that they've become so used to their own hand that a woman's vagina....

    When he wanks himself, he's able to adjust the pressure and touch of his own hand as he wants...

    Your vagina, bum, mouth, hand or whatever is never going to be that responsive....

    Are you being satisfied during sex? If you are I'd personally tend to be some way sympathetic to him....

    You could test the scenario by getting him to wank himself next time you have sex...

    If you don't want to embaress him by asking him to masturbate in front of you, tell him he can come on your face or boobs... Most men will go crazy for that and it'll encourage him to finish...

    Another option would be to finger his arse when he's fucking you as I've found that encourages guys to finish... If you do it try and put your fingers inside a condom first (do it in the shower ideally) also be warned the first things guys tend to do when I've tried it is to try and shove their own fingers up my arse... So be prepared to tell him turn around isn't fair play if you don't fancy that...
     
  5. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    Yes, I'm very satisfied, that's why it sucks that he can't finish off too.
    We've tried having him jerk off, and it either doesn't work,and the one time it did, it took him an hour.
    I've read about sticking a finger up the bum before, but he's very apposed to the idea, so i don't think he'd like if very much. lol.
    thanks!
     
  6. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    Perhaps he's bored? Do you two experiment with new things in bed much or do the same routine all the time? Perhaps you need to spice things up by trying something new and maybe a bit taboo, to get things back on track.

    Totty is correct, a carefully inserted finger in the ass does wonders for getting a man to come. Anal play can enhance sex for both partners, if they allow themselves to experiment with it.
     
  7. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    If he can't get himself off by masturbation there might be a medical problem... Men are pretty shit at going to the doctor... If he doesn't want to go, you might want to consider calling a halt to any sex untill he does...
     
  8. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    Well we only just started having sex, so I wouldn't think experimentation would be in order yet.

    And we have considered the medical aspect so he does have an appointment coming up. Hopefully it isn't anything serious.
    I was kind of hoping someone on here might have has a similar experience and might be able to give us some advice.
     
  9. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    And that is why we practice and communicate!

    "yeah, baby, that's it...keep going....a little to the right...lighter, LIGHTER! Oh my god, oh my GAWD, harder!!! WHAT was THAT??? Uhhhhhh!!!!! No! no! Don't stop! Do it again! Go, baby, go, go, ohmygod, yes, faster, duhhhhhhh...now slow! SLOW! Yes! Yeeeeesssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaddduuuugggggghhhhhhhhh...."

    Interacting with a woman is a WHOLE lot more fun than my hand for the very reasons you describe: My hand knows me all too well and is far to predictable and boring! No creativity or spontaneity, whatsoever. :lol:
     
  10. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    When stuff like that happens your first step should always be to see your doctor.... What you describe, which is a man maintaining an erection for hours without ejaculating isn't normal. It's also something I would have classed as being physically impossible even with the use of drugs...
     
  11. mintcake69

    mintcake69 New Member

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    Does he have a dry orgasm of any sort? If so, this could indicate something physiological. I have experienced this myself but only through intentional control.
     
  12. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    For him it's like he gets up to the point just before orgasm, and it steps back a few steps. So it's like this continual building with no real release.
     
  13. mintcake69

    mintcake69 New Member

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    It could be that he is having some sort of mental block that is preventing him from releasing. As men. we tend to learn to maintain an erection and hold back from climaxing to give you women a chance to catch up!;) Sometimes we can control that delay too much. That said I certainly wouldn't rule out anything physical at this stage. I would certainly be interested in what his GP has to say.
     
  14. rychio

    rychio New Member

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    you tell him that do not masturbate anymore! Relax your mind and help us to be like a old offline!
     
  15. blackwaterproof

    blackwaterproof New Member

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    Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely keep everyone posted on what the doctor says.