ugh

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bryanedp9, Feb 10, 2007.

  1. bryanedp9

    bryanedp9 Member

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    alrighty.... here goes

    My girlfriend is absolutely perfect... I wouldn't trade her even for superbowl tickets, but I have some serious problems that I need some advice with. She's a virgin, and we're waiting for the "right time" to do anything, and I want her to be completely sure of what she wants, because I'm afraid of screwing things up for her and ruining everything. Now she's a very sexual person, which I absolutely love, and like any sexual person, she watches porn, has fantasies, etc.

    She's also liked the idea of being with another girl, but says it would be too much for her to follow through with it. She likes seeing threesomes, but would never do it... it's just a fantasy to her.

    But isn't a fantasy something that people usually want to do?

    I'm absolutely petrified that she'll really and truly want to do all these things eventually. The problem is, I can't be a chick, or 2 guys at the same time. It's gotten to the point where I just go into a feeling of angst when there's a girls gone wild or penis enlargement commercial (i'm also a bit uneasy about my size, although it's of average proportions.)

    She says I'm the only person she wants, but it still bothers me that I can't be everything else at the same time. I want to be perfect, and the fact that I can't is killing me.

    Any advice?
     
  2. AnonymousOne

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    Stop being paranoid.

    Fantasies are just that. I doubt she'd risk losing you over a threesome. And who knows, in the future if you're both ready and think that you can handle it, then maybe you could look into it, but as she's a virgin I very much doubt she'll be hopping in bed with other people besides you in the near future.
     
  3. cbrmale

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    Fantasies are just that, fantasies. Indeed, a young woman with a healthy fantasy life and the bravery to talk about her turn-ons is going to make someone a marvellous sexual partner one day.

    As for you, you are probably young, and young people do not learn 'perfect' sex (if there is such a thing) until they have lots of experience and confidence. Don't burden yourself with unreasonable expectations, we all must learn to crawl before we can walk. There is a lot of information on sex available these days, read up, get it together in your head, but also remember that practice makes things run better, and it takes a fair while before good sex becomes second nature to any man or any woman.

    Sex is fun, not a competition, so enjoy it every time!
     
  4. LimeLight

    LimeLight New Member

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    I agree with the two previous posts. Also be sure you both communicate what feels good and what doesn't and don't take it personally. Nobdy is a perfect lover but like cbrmale said practice and you'll both grow to be perfect for each other.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Cybermale said:
    That did indeed hit the nail on the head.
    We all have fantasies, Sometimes we act out those fantasies
    But mostly they are left as Fantasy.
    Of course She would never expect a 3some on your first time
    at sex and probably never will.
    But in time you will appreciate Her openness and willingness to
    talk about Her fantasies.

    Hiker:sf
     
  6. SexyScorp

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    Well said big!!
     
  7. Dreama

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    I think she is an empowered sexual being. That is awesome. Trust her, and you won't have any problems...
     
  8. AnonymousOne

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    That's a rather vague term ... what do you mean by it?
     
  9. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    I'd concentrate on just you two for a while. In my mind threesomes are more advanced and come later if you both people lean that way. I agree with what the others have said and the crawl before you walk. In the end it could just be a fantasy but the mind is the best sex organ we have :)
     
  10. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Welcome to the Life Club Bryanedp9, almost everybody gets a chance to start somewhere, you're one of the lucky ones so far, so make the most of it.
     
  11. cbrmale

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    Because she is young, totally inexperienced, and willing to talk about something erotically exciting to her, something truly intimate. That is really cool.
     
  12. Dreama

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    That she is comfortable with her sexuality. How else might one interpret it?