Trying to get into this being single thing

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by DWB, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. DWB

    DWB New Member

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    I am 36 and have been with my wife for 20 years....Yes..before we got married I fooled around some and she was far from my first. This is not a sexual thing I am having difficulties with as for the past 6 years our sex life was hit and miss and we were separated for 9 months back in 09.

    This is about the feeling of not having anybody around......

    After so many years with somebody from a early age of your life you just become accustomed to having another person in your life be it good or bad...call it routine I guess. When my kids are not with me I am obsessed with having people come over to hang out as I am so used to somebody else being here. Somebody to cook for...somebody to talk with..even the most minimal of a conversation. Hell even the nuisances of somebody else being here...like hoggin the bathroom even! :lol

    This is the second time in my life I have lived alone although its more like the first as the other time I had moved to Alabama where I have family yet I lived thirty minutes away in a town that I did not know anybody and I had a one bedroom furnished apt and it kinda felt like I was working out of town and staying in a hotel which I have done numerous times. But now I live in the same town as my ex and all of our friends.

    Just feels weird and very new........

    Would like to hear others experiences and thoughts on this ....Kinda like a fish outta watter here...I am enjoying the peace and quite...the lack of bickering and every other feeling associated with living with a partner that no longer gets along with you,and the freedom...but I am so missing the family life.
     
  2. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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    Well, my partnership was only 4 1/2 years, but we had 2 kids, and i had no other family in this country. My parents had both passed by then, and my 'adopted family' was actually HIS family. So i felt very alone.
    When i left him, the kids resided (and still do) at his family home, as i had no where to go. I placed myself in position after position where i was staying at friends houses,so as not to be alone...ever.
    I even remember in one house sleeping in a bed that was to close to the wall, i could practically hear my bestfriend breathing in her sleep.
    yes, loneliness is hard.
    I'm not one who likes to be alone really, i enjoy knowing that someone is there. that there's another life near by,lol!
     
  3. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    I'm experiencing kind of the same. Just bought myself an apartment in a city I used to live in. Feels weird at first having to make new friends and seeing old again.

    After a while you and your partner might become more 'neutral' with each other. Separation creates distance between old arguments and grievances. I'm much better friends with my ex than I was was when we were living together.

    In any case try to make new friends and perhaps find a new flame to do nice things with.

    ~Marcpatrick
     
  4. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

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    Loneliness is hard. I live with my parents and it's nice having them around to talk to.

    After being with my ex for 6 months sleeping with him everynight, his smell, warmth and strong embrace. It's hard to fall asleep at night without it :(

    Although it's nice to have company during the day. It's going to sleep at night that is hard for me.
     
  5. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    are you me??

    i would assume it's different when you have kids involved and i don't know anything about that, but honestly you just have to allow yourself to move on and enjoy being single. having someone is always nice but maybe you just need to take some time for yourself for a while and not worry about women.

    make some new friends, get a new hobby, do something to fill up your time.
     
  6. DWB

    DWB New Member

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    Great responses folks...and great advice! Thanks.....
     
  7. Ready2Please

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    I feel the same way. Although my ex bf and I no longer together we spend a lot of our time together and we text more now then when we were dating. I also like having him over at my place I feel lonely at home. Sometimes it is fine to be alone other times I hate it. :(