Trust in relationships

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, May 18, 2015.

  1. HotForHoney

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    Few questions - use as a jump off point:

    How do you build trust?
    Does sex help build trust? (Please no sex helps everything comments)
    How has dom/sub relationship helped/hurt?

    Basically, the new guy and I are playing. I like to be more sub and he has no prob being dom he's just unsure of the limits.
    I think knowing he will stop is important and is building trust in other areas. We have opened up about other/non-sexual things.
     
  2. Doitagain

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    Okay it's a generic answer but time and experience with this person that ties into past experience. .. I don't think there is cut and dry answer to this. For me...slowly but surely
     
  3. Mikey22

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    Not sure if sex helps build trust. But trust seems to be built over a length of time as your relationship grows. As far as the dom/sub goes. I'm sure you will let him know,When he goes to far. My lady sure lets me know. Hope this helps:)
     
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  4. HotForHoney

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    I know there isn't really any hard and fast rules. Just wanted to have an open (mature) conversation.
     
  5. Alwayslearningsex

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    You build trust by being honest and yourself, to yourself and to your partner.
    By listening and being receptive, not so quick to accuse (one set of issues that killed my trust with the ex)
    Sex is one part in my opinion although it fits in the big picture, not exclusively with sex. You treat the other equally, it's not a one way street even though there are times it's about someone's turn. The way you give sex earns trust, maybe receiving it too.
     
  6. jjslpsg

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    How do you build trust? By doing what you say you are going to do. By letting your actions match your words.
    Does sex help build trust. Yes, it can. By respecting your partner's desires and boundaries you can build trust.
    How has dom/sub relationship helped/hurt? I don't think of my relationships in that way. I prefer to think that sometimes it is better for one partner to lead, one to follow and sometimes both have to share the roles.
     
  7. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    It builds over time, and is typically not a conscious decision. Humans subconsciously follow trends and tend to make decisions that have benefited in the past. In other words, if we took a risk with someone in the past and the results were good, we're more likely to replicate the situation. More simply, we trust people who have habitually shown us that they can be trusted. I think that in a moment of question, you either decide that you already trust someone or t that you're willing to take the risk. I don't think you actually decide TO trust someone. It might be an argument of semantics, but it's my take. I don't think that we trust independent of circumstance, but instead believe that our trust is dependent on the situation at hand. For example, I trust that my roommate would wake me up in a fire, but don't trust that she'll remember to take the garbage out on the correct day.

    In accordance with my previous paragraph, I believe that any situation that doesn't break trust builds trust. I also think that once we begin trusting someone in the bedroom, our willingness to take risks with that person in other areas of life increases. This can also work the opposite way, depending on a person's personality. Some people need to trust a partner emotionally before they can trust sexually.

    The specific qualities of the dom/sub relationship means participating involves greater risk (especially for the submissive partner). Because of the nature of the acts, taking these risks results in proportionate levels of trust or distrust. In other words, if the dominant partner is able to respect the submissive partner's boundaries, the relationship aids in trust building. If the submissive partner does not feel his or her boundaries are accounted for, the trust begins to degrade--often drastically.

    Mature enough? =P
     
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  8. BlueCollar

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    My take on building trust would be two people sharing experiences, over time, and finding they can rely on one another. It doesn't have to be just sex. Although, sex is factored in at some point.
    Mostly, trust is a bond, that isn't shared with just anyone. Therefore, it doesn't develop right away. If it did, trust would be less meaningful.
    Two people, experiencing life's ups and downs together, that share the same feeling of "I'm glad you're with me on this", I think, are building trust.
     
  9. Candela

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    I feel trust is believing in what your spouse tells you,No matter where he may be I totally trust his words,His actions,His reasons,His concerns,His worries.My hubby is away a lot of the time and he never fails to tell me how he loves me.Love is when you have been together over 17 yrs and still find yourself sneaking glances at him. and getting giddy when he catches you .Trusting in each other makes a lasting relationship.When you have trust,The sex is even better.....JMO!