Trust in a relationship

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by djkolanes, Jul 31, 2007.

  1. djkolanes

    djkolanes New Member

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    How do you trust a flirty girl? My girlfriend is a very flirty girl. On top of that, virtually all of her guy friends she talks to have liked her at one point or another, or continue to do so. She also finds many men attractive. Sometimes, when she's with one of her girlfriends, she will talk a LOT about how many different people are so attractive to her, even when i'm around. Is that normal? One reason that it makes it difficult for me to trust is because I feel like she doesn't always pay that much attention to me when we're out with a group of friends. Usually I have to do something that will invoke a response from her (make a playful joke aimed at her or something of the like). With the guys involved, she talks to them more than she does to me. Is this normal? I feel like I can be taken for granted some times just because she knows she has me. I generally have to 'start' everything when we're alone as well, from sex to even just cuddling. Maybe I have some jealousy or insecurity issues, what do you think? I'm okay if I'm jealous or insecure, I would very much appreciate some advice on how to get over it though.
     
  2. p00shy

    p00shy New Member

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    i have the same issue, when you get a good answer, please send it here. its like you want to trust her, but on the other hand, what she does makes it really hard / nearly impossible.
     
  3. Runtoyou

    Runtoyou New Member

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    Sorry to break it to you, but it sounds like she's just not that into you.
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    In many instances, it seems that once a relationship adds the "sex" ingredient, the 'friendship' part takes a backseat. She probably feels more at ease... more herself... with these other friends (whether male or female). Perhaps she even has in the back of her mind that if she engages you in any way, that it will lead to sex. With the other guys, everything stays platonic, so she doesn't have to worry about them 'coming on' to her. (and that's a good thing, right? )

    I suppose you need to work on spending time with her - even ALONE time - without alluding to having sex. Do some fun things together -without alluding to sex. This will revive the 'friendship' part of your relationship.
     
  5. cbrmale

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    I've never been jealous or insecure, I've just been me. If I was good enough and we were compatible enough, the relationship would survive. If some ingredients were missing, it was destined not to survive.

    I don't know what advice to offer someone with your thoughts. I'm a flirty man, and I often tell my wife of how well my flirting sometimes works. It doesn't mean anything except that I am confident in myself, and proud that other women find me attractive. I think if you asked my wife, she would probably tell you that she is proud that other women are attracted to 'her' man, but she knows that I will always be her man.
     
  6. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    She sounds a lot like me. I flirt a lot and when I see someone I think is attractive I will talk about it with friends? lovers. that said I have almost never cheated and never in a serious relationship. I like women..all women. I flirt with them all from 14 to 80. I also go home with the one that came with me.
     
  7. djkolanes

    djkolanes New Member

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    Thank you! This was exactly the advice I was looking for.

    What about the other part of my question; is it normal for women to have complete conversations about men they find extremely attractive (men they actually know) in front of their boyfriends? Normally, I'm okay with this, but sometimes the list can go on to about 20 men in one sitting, and that often ilicits negative feelings in me.
     
  8. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Have to say I am a big fan of flirting generally....

    And I am happy for my wife to flirt and for her to enjoy the attraction as I trust her and I'm not the jealous type.

    BUT, the situation you describe seems a bit too much.

    I get the feeling that she is taking you a bit too much for granted.

    Flirting is one thing.

    Showing respect is something else.

    I don't think she is showing you much respect right now.
     
  9. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    if my gf did what your describing as you describe it.. she would have to find a ride home because i would have already been mad beyond belief that i would have left to hang out with my friends... I dont like girls who play the flirty act, atleast when im dating them.. i had a gf like that who would go out with guy friends and girl friends and i wouldnt be invited some times, it drove me off the wall so bad one night that i actually ended it, she was shocked, but hey, some times people are not considerate.
     
  10. FireGuy

    FireGuy New Member

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    so if you're walking through the mall do you not look at other women? When you're with the guys do you not hoot & holler at girls. Do you not make comments about other girls to your friends???

    She's very confident in herself, a rare trait for women these days to have. Attraction to the opposite sex is human nature.

    You just need to lay off a bit, remember friendship is a MAJOR role in a relationship! Be open, honest, & don't hide things, apparently she's not!!

    Get over yourself, if she didn't want to be with you, she knows she can have her pick at most any man.

    ALL of my friends would give their left nut to be with my wife, I use it to my advantage, let her and them flirt with each other. I've even encouraged her to tease them with little dances and such. Then that night while having sex we talk about how fun it was and how lucky I am...
     
  11. Darkwing

    Darkwing New Member

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    move on