Trouble coming

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Rettet181, Jul 26, 2007.

  1. Rettet181

    Rettet181 New Member

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    Ok some of you may recognize me from a few days ago, but I'm back. I just recently lost my virginity, and that first time I couldn't come. I blamed it on the beer and nerves, which probably had a lot to do with it, but the problem still persists... The second time was pretty similar to the first, without the alcohol. I hadn't had an orgasm for a couple days either, so I was pretty damn horny. But even though we did it in several positions (vaginal, oral, handjob, etc) for a couple hours I still couldn't come. After she came 4 times she was too exhausted to continue, so she helped me masturbate to orgasm (which was actually a pretty sensual experience, but I had to do most of the work).

    There's a few things it could be from what I can tell. First, she gets extremely wet. There's not as much friction as there could be I suppose, although it does feel bloody amazing anyway. I'm not exactly small, having average length and above-average girth so I don't think that would be it. I've never really had problems masturbating either.

    The main thing I think it could be is psychological. I was actually raised to believe that sex is evil unless in wedlock, and while I've completely discounted those beliefs I imagine there could be some lingering effects from that upbringing (more like brain-washing in my opinion, but that's another story). I suppose it hasn't been that long since I thought that way either, I just thought that I was over that part of my life (Yeah... I'm pretty bitter about it).

    I wouldn't worry so much but I feel kind of bad. The sex appears great for her, and I'm apparently exhausting her (there's an ego boost for ya), but I think she feels bad that I can't enjoy it as much. I'm sure to reassure her and everything as often as possible, and we've talked about how it could be me getting over the way I was raised, but I'm afraid she'll think she just doesn't turn me on or something.

    Any ideas?
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Inbred ideology can certainly wreak havok - and it can be very hard to shake.

    You have just recently lost your virginity, so it may take a while to rid yourself of the guilt you feel when you 'do the big dirty'! :lol And we all know that sexual pleasure is directly related to your mental/emotional state. You need to re-affirm your own reasons for your personal choices, and then stick to them. It may take some time, but knowing why you may be having this trouble sexually will better help you to overcome it.

    I'm sure Cbrmale will be around soon to interject some insight regarding the spiritual brainwashing of some western societies. He has some very interesting facts, well worth reading. :tup
     
  3. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    I'm back! Yay!

    Anyway, try having her wrap her legs around you, you get a little deeper and it gets tighter. It might have been nerves because last time you hadn't been able to come, that would have been from the alcohol. It stops working right after a certain BAC.
     
  4. Joe

    Joe
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    Sometimes I'll intentionally hold off the orgasm too long, and after a certain point it becomes difficult to get off. Could that be your problem? My wife always seems a little disappointed if I don't finish (I am too), so I don't really try to hold back any more, at least not beyond the first couple minutes. If you finish too soon, there's always round two.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Exactly.

    Hiker
     
  6. cbrmale

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    If you feel you have a problem due to Christian 'brainwashing' for want of a better word, the most positive thing to do is seek help. Most religions encourage sexual expression (says he who once had a 'temporary marriage' in Muslim Malaysia so he could have a girlfriend move into his hotel room for a few nights), but Christianity is something else entirely.

    The most appropriate help is with a clinical psychologist who can talk you through your sexual concerns, and provide guidance as to how you can deal with them. I have studied psychology myself, and I have seen clinical psychologists for other issues, and I know just how much help these professionals can give us in such matters.