Trouble Climaxing/Low Sex Drive.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by GrissaOstDrauka, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. GrissaOstDrauka

    GrissaOstDrauka New Member

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    Where to start. I'm 25 year old guy in good health. No major health problems currently or in the past. The trouble I've been having lately is that I can't seem to reach orgasm through any type intercourse. In fact I seem to experience a general lack of sensitivity in general. I have no problem getting and maintaining an erection, it just doesn't build. I'm not on any medication and honestly can't think of any issues that would cause this. My wife says it's all in my head, says I'm worried about knocking her up, but I don't think that's 100% true. Even when she gives me a blowjob it sometimes won't work or if it does it takes her quite a while of wailing away on me. It seems lately that I'm becoming less and less interested in sex as well. I don't know if this the problem worsening or simply just because I'm tired of never getting off when I have sex and also having to hear my wife complain about how I never get off. People have suggested that I have low testosterone levels but while I haven't had blood-work done I don't think that's the case. I'm big into lifting/bodybuilding and have continued to make gains on top of not displaying any other symptoms of low test. I'm just getting pissed off now and near the point to where I'm just ready to give up. Sex just isn't fun anymore. I'm thinking of heading to the doctor but figured I'd give this a shot to see if anybody had some suggestions as to things I might try. Any help will be greatly appreciated and I can provide any further information if needed.


    P.S.
    If it helps I've never been extremely sensitive. Even on my first time I wasn't able to get off. It took me a few more times, I think mainly to get relaxed and comfortable before I could. Just an afterthought I figured I'd throw in.
     
  2. cbrmale

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    Is it the way you masturbate, if you masturbate? A lot of men masturbate with a tight grip, whereas the vagina is looser and caresses rather than grips. Do you use condoms? I used to sometimes when I was younger and did have some problems coming in a reasonable time, but that was the early eighties and we typically didn't use them. I've never used them with my wife, and never with other partners (we rely on getting tested prior). Condoms certainly de-sensistise things for me.

    If you don't masturbate, or don't do it too hard, or don't use condoms, then your wife might be right. Certainly our most important sex organ is the mind, and the sub-conscious is very, very powerful. Can prevent us from getting an erection, and certainly can prevent us from getting hard. I don't think it's testosterone; that would explain low sex drive but doesn't explain why you can't orgasm. Low testosterone, as you know, also equates to lack of energy, more body fat than muscle and so on. Low sex drive is possibly due to the frustration of failing.

    Perhaps you should talk to your wife in the meantime, and suggest that sex is more than orgasms for men too. It's closeness and intimacy and the pleasure her body can off you. If you can relax into the sensations of sex and not worry that she's worrying about you, then it may well come naturally. And if it does, you may well find your sex drive comes back to you too.
     
  3. GrissaOstDrauka

    GrissaOstDrauka New Member

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    This is without using condoms. With a condom you can forget it all together, like you they cut off all feeling. As far as jerking off I thought about that as well. That's why I stopped flat out, figuring I was killing my drive that way. Still didn't really seem to do shit. When I step back and take a look it probably is just mental. Having some minor money problems right now, don't like my job, don't like my house, etc. Probably just stress. I plan to head to the store and try a few natural supplements such as ginko, maca, stuff like that. I told her that from now on I don't want to hear a bunch of bitching if I'm not able to finish. As long as she's getting off I don't understand why she has to make such a big deal about it. I guess we'll just have to see what happens. Thanks for the advice.
     
  4. hornyscot

    hornyscot New Member

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    In the first instance, my advice is to sek a medical opinion, the problem may well be medically treatable, it may also be a psychological issue. It could be you just need something to kickstart your sex drive again, good luck either way
     
  5. MrIgnites

    MrIgnites New Member

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    Dont' take this the wrong way. Do you use any legal or illegal steroids while working out. Steroids increase your testosterone levels and high testosterone levels increase your sex drive. It is common for guys who used steroids for long periods of time and then come off to have little or no libido. There has also been cases where men were unable to get a erection while on the steroids.
     
  6. Essene

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    I was going to initially inquire if you had any cardiovascular problems, but after reading that you are in good health- I see that, that would be a botched plan.


    Cbrmale has the best advice, followed by hornyscot. The most instrumental part of libido is the mind. There are thousands of facets in every da life that can increase or diminish ones libido. For instance, owning a pet, not a goldfish--- something more playful, can increase virility (unless you're allergic to them of course). Stress also plays a huge factor. Feeling the need to perform and being under the pressure of "needing" to finish coupled with assumed subconscious, if not subconscious and conscious, scrutiny can be frightening.
    Fright or fear can act in both ways. That is, helping your libido and hindering it.

    What it comes down to is comfort. In a stressful environment, a lot of systems governed by our conscious brain shut off, or lagg (so to speak). Your wife's incessant complaining about your inability isn't helping either. I suggest you see a doctor- preferably one who specializes in areas like these as an ears-nose-and-throat doctor may not be the best fit.
     
  7. ghost990

    ghost990 New Member

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    I am 36, and have had the same problem, struggling with it for years.

    I think the problem is hormonal. It is definitely not psychological because for me I am equally insensitive even when touching myself. It has become increasingly difficult (sometimes near impossible) to come even when alone.

    Various activities or supplements which modify male hormones have a major effect for me. But by far the fastest and quickest option is to take a small amount of standardized yohimbe. The best is Twinlab Yohimbe fuel (8% yohimbine). Taking 1, or max 2, capsules about 30 minutes before sex works best.

    With yohimbe, I am instantly sensitive and orgasming is no problem at all, even on the 2nd time.

    The only drawback is yohimbe can create a fast heart beat, general anxiety, and trouble sleeping in some cases. But for me it is generally worth it.

    I am not alone in this opinion-- I learned this trick from others with the same problem and it seems to help most men in this situation.