[Ask a Guy] Tried and true tips to last longer?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Adventurer, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. Adventurer

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    Hey guys,
    I know there is probably a lot of garbage out there on this. And maybe some stuff that's not safe (either short or long term).

    I am not like a premature ejaculator or anything like that. But I'd like to be able to last longer for my wife. (Preferably with some sore of physical or mental training?)

    I know people have figured out ways to maybe train themselves or something? Yes, no?


    PS. We dont use condoms (so that wouldnt be a good suggestion)
     
  2. AtkCCC

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    If I know or suspect a head of time I might rub one out in the shower. Helps with more staying power later.
     
  3. Mittimer

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    Cock rings or desensitising lube.
     
  4. AtkCCC

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    Here is another option....Cum, take a short break and then go for round 2! Maybe go for some oral/69 and get eachother off and then whatever else.
     
  5. biker061

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    getting to know what the earliest signs/feelings of your impending orgasm is a good start. then stop or slow down until it recedes, then go after it again1 also known as 'edging' if i'm not mistaken?
     
  6. diehard

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    Not thinking about it, anytime I've ever tried to last longer, i came quicker
     
  7. sayss18

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    When you feel you're about to cum, slow down or pull out and spend some time pleasuring your partner another way, like licking her pussy or caressing her body.
     
  8. Anotherday

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    a lot of good tips in here.

    A very hard thing to do, but as mentioned above.

    Changing rhythm

    Lots of good foreplay (here you can have her on the verge or already in orgasmic state before you even enter her)

    Changing position

    Thinking of something else (I don't really like this one)

    Stop penetration and do something else

    Going ahead and cum, then starting again. (Easy for a young man, I gotta have a few moments most of the time these days)

    Denial (now this takes two to tango as your partner needs to understand what you are doing. Have sex and don't allow yourself to cum or have your partner top and deny you. You do this enough and you can begin to truly practice control.)

    But, if what you are truly seeking is to please the wife lasting longer through penetration may not be needed at all.

    Have you ever ventured into "forced orgasms"?
    It's not so much "I'm going to force you to orgasm" It's more of taking her beyond what her mind tells her she can take. It takes a bit of practice, consent, and understanding on both parts about what you are going to seek.

    It's really a simple practice, but practice it does take for you to learn the signs and for her to work through. There are definite aspects of D/S involved in this.

    Here's how a scenario of how it works for us:

    First and foremost you need trust, consent, and understanding with her of what you are working towards. You are also going to need submission from her.

    After some light foreplay you are going to need to bind her. It doesn't have to be intricate nor too tight. What you want is full access to her, for her to feel a helplessness, and to protect you and her from getting hurt.

    You also need to blindfold her so there is some sensory deprivation on her part.

    You can use toys in this, a nice strong vibrator like a Hitachi, but really fingers and mouth is all you truly need.

    I'm not going to get into too many details, but basically go down on her, slow and sensual like a fine meal, after a few minutes work two fingers gently into her and begin to slowly open her up just a bit while continuing slow but steady work with your mouth. The entire time read her body so as to not let her cum. You may want to tell her to ask to cum when she feels it arriving, this allows you the chance to better learn her physical signals. Now, if she does come close to cumming simply back off, change what you are doing, maybe give her a nice slap on her pussy to change the sensations. Then start again. You want to slowly build momentum and build pressure within her for the first orgasm.

    The idea is to slowly work with you fingers inside and begin massaging her upper wall to stimulate her gspot while at the same time working on her clit with your mouth. Stop doing one or the other from time to time and don't put too much pressure on either. Keep reading her or denying her requests to cum for several times. Crest, denial, crest denial, crest denial until you are ready or she just can't take it anymore. It's a timing thing, because once you are ready to allow her to cum it's time to increase pressure and rhythm both inside and out. It's built up now and it's time to bear in (not too rough unless she just likes it that way) but go ahead and get her off. Once she's gone through this initial built up orgasm is when the fun starts.

    Keep going. Keep working her clit and gspot. Work them furiously. I like to stand beside her at this point using one hand to keep pumping up and down (not in and out so much) on her upper wall while the other is fully engaging her clit in a furious yet light rubbing manner. She'll likely begin pleading for you to stop after several orgasms, she may begin squirting, and she may just begin being a bit incoherent as to what's happening around her. If you've both talked this over and consented it's okay. You aren't going to hurt her anyway, just keep going. Take her beyond.

    Now, first few times around don't take her too far let her get used to the idea through practice first.

    It's a hard thing to do to begin with and what you see and hear may scare you a bit, and then you will know what the bondage is really for. I made the mistake of not tying properly once and got a knee to the head one night. She had no idea she had done it hell she couldn't talk for ten minutes.

    When it's over she will be a shaking, soaking wet, beaming, heap.

    This is where aftercare comes in. Hold her, bathe her, take care of her, reassure her.

    I'm no expert on this and still learning. But if this interests the two of you do some research on it and try it out. It's fantastic.
     
  9. Adventurer

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    Sounds it!

    Although that's more on the topic of getting her to orgasm rather than my lasting longer. :) But I think I understand what you mean. Rather than my lasting longer, making sex last longer in other ways.

    Thanks for all the tips guys. Most of which I know... I just needed a reminder I guess. lol. Been getting into a bad habit with all the quickies I guess. :eyes
     
    #9 Adventurer, Mar 6, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  10. AndreasF

    AndreasF New Member

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    I trained my PC muscle with the help of some ebooks, which focus on teaching to strenghen the PC with daily exercises.
    In the past I came after around 10 min, now 6 months later I decide when to cum.
     
  11. Adventurer

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    Ooh! That sounds great! Would you mind sharing?
     
  12. Cappy_Dick

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    As has already been said, working out your PC muscle definitely helps with control. With that, at least with me, plenty of foreplay makes intercourse last much longer. It's a falsehood that the sooner you start intercourse, the longer you'll last. An ex of mine learned that the hard way. When we first got together, I had been through some bad shit in my life combined with not having had sex for a while. While I can normally last 20-40 minutes in intercourse, I was lucky to make it to 10 then. I told her why and it would pass. But one night, she decided that she'd just about get me hard and sit on my cock. Even without a problem, I might last 3 minutes max in such a case, so with things the way they were, I lasted maybe 30 seconds. After that, I told her that's the WORST thing she could do to make me last inside of her. After that, she listened and we just did things as normal and I was back to my old self in less than 2 weeks.

    xx
     
  13. ISOParadiseCity

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    IME, a few things factor for good results. The younger I was, the longer I lasted. I think that is kind of backwards compared to a lot of people. For instance, my first time, I literally lasted about 30 minutes of actual penetration. But, I wasn't 16, I was a bit older.
    And due to some health issues, lasting during actual sex has been a concern of mine lately, as I was glad to see this thread go up.
    I tried the whole contract the PC muscle thing, and for me, when I am about to cum, squeezing my PC muscle would almost kind of hurt, and it didn't ever stop me from cumming.
    To me, communication is more important than anything. And having someone who is sexually tuned into you is really important also. Everyone out there typically thinks they are amazing in bed. Amazingly though, many people don't really pay attention to the needs of the other person. Maybe I have had bad luck there, or it is something about me, but few women I have had sex with REALLY payed attention to what I liked. And for me, that was more important than anything. If the woman I am with is sexually tuned into me, she will know what is really good for me, and then we can work together to change the pace, change positions, or whatever works to help sex last longer.
    For me, there isn't an end all be all trick that will make me last longer in bed. Especially if it is a hot session, and we are going at it fast and hard.
    More than anything, changing positions, and/or pace had me last longer.
    It doesn't matter what I do, if I go fast and hard, I will cum quick, no matter what I think about, or how hard I squeeze the PC muscle.
    Also, exercise your core muscles and upper legs, along with your chest. And cardio. haha.
    The more fit and strong you are, the easier sex is, and the less energy it takes.
     
  14. AndreasF

    AndreasF New Member

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    Once of the most helpful eBooks for me was from Barbara Keesling 'How to make love all night'
    There are other good ones on the market too.
     
  15. Adventurer

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    Does edging help?
     
  16. Sulis

    Sulis New Member

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    Yes it does, controlling your pc muscle is awesom. I can truly cum when i want(or atleast not cum). Ive always enjoyed the fucking more than cumming so being able to last as long as i want is priceless.
     
  17. MrFusion

    MrFusion New Member

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    Don't have sex right before bed when you're exhausted. As a guy when you're tired, your orgasm will come much faster. You just don't have the energy to hold it off.

    Have sex when you're wide awake in the middle of the day.
     
  18. theatreguy

    theatreguy New Member

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    I always last longer when I've jogged or played basketball or something with moderate-to-high cardio involved. The others (changing rhythm or positions, distracting yourself) only buy me 30 seconds or so.

    I just pull out when I'm getting anywhere close and tell my wife something like "Fuck, you're too hot. I need a minute." And work on her with my fingers or a toy for a few. The erection will probably die down a bit but most partners get a boost from seeing you unable to control yourself like that, in my experience.
     
  19. Adventurer

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    Yeah, that seems to help. Its hard though, because of the kids. So often, just before bed is the only time. But then, yeah, Im tired... that makes sense!
     
  20. kipro150

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    Having to pee is the main thing that will make me finish too fast lol. So I make sure I'm on empty

    Then during sex, I have a good beat on when I'm about to cum so I'll go at a pace where I won't finish. Or just stay inside her and not move then spend the time kissing and whatnot till I regroup

    But my gf isn't usually up for crazy long sessions because shell get sore (she doesn't get crazy wet in general and have to use lube a few times, is the main reason)

    Not sure where I'm going with this. Just felt like thinking about fucking lol