[Ask a Girl] Touching yourself during sex

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Barbwire, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Barbwire

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    I was just looking at an older, long ago locked, thread about how guys feel about women touching themselves during sex and it brought to mind a question.

    For me, working my clit with my fingers during intercourse doesn't do anything for me. I can get off just fine if I'm playing solo by using my fingers whilst fucking myself with a dildo but when I'm being pumped by my man, I can't get that same effect.

    I've tried using my Eroscillator while my husband's been inside of me with varying degrees of success. One problem is, he always comes before I can get off and I wonder if me pressuring myself to come before or during his orgasm is what is making is so darned difficult.

    So ladies, do any of you have experience with this sort of thing?
     
  2. igor

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    What if your partner uses his fingers? Any difference?
    My wife never wanted me to touch her clit while doing PIV.
     
  3. Squirt

    Squirt New Member

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    I have the exact same problem. I typically only orgasm during intercourse about 50% of the time and I have to work hard to get it then. Majority of my successful times, I use a small but powerful bullet on my clit. Other times I use one of my other vibes. The trick for me is not to just "rest" the vibe on my clit but to put it on one side and then "pinch" my clit with it. (hopefully that makes since)

    Of course it is always a race to try and beat him and the closer I get the more difficult it is for him to hold off. Also I have to concentrate really hard. The downfall to it is sometimes he understandably gets annoyed with my hands and a vibe down there all the time. lol.

    Hope the might give you some pointers, if not just know that you are not alone. It took me a long time and a lot of practice to achieve what I have.
     
  4. Dragon_Fire

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    Mostly I don't like to touch myself during intercourse. I prefer to have both hands free to cuddle and caress him. I also find trying to "masturbate" myself distracts from other pleasurable aspects of sex. If I don't orgasm during penetration, I'm not bothered. Usually, I enjoy having a big one at the end of our lovemaking session, regardless of any previous orgasms.

    My ex used to seem to take forever to cum and I'd get bored but I discovered that if I touched my clit to bring myself off at the right moment, my contractions used to help tip him over the edge and speed up his orgasm.
     
  5. Nomad88

    Nomad88 New Member

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    Working a finger or two across my clit during penetration does work wonders for me. But I'm young and foolish and wouldn't hesitate it's more in my mind as I do tend to be an exhibitionist in that manner. I suppose I'm simply being turned on knowing he likes seeing it which is what pushes it over the edge for me, knowing he's watching it and getting closer just from the view. But then again in the 4 years I've been sexually active I've always been very easy to reach a satisfying orgasm anyway I chose to. Not everyone's a world-changing, knock your socks off, but rapid fire o's are a dime a dozen to me. *Shrug* Not cumming isn't a problem for this young, inxperienced lady.
     
  6. sinfinity

    sinfinity New Member

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    It is for me. Cumming, that is. Oh sure, I get wetter than a water park during foreplay, but I can count on a hand the times I've had an orgasm.
     
  7. Barbwire

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    My question isn't about whether women can get off from their partners touching them during PIV sex, it's about if a woman touching herself during PIV sex, but thanks for your input, Igor.

    I'd like to be able to orgasm with my husband inside of me without the aid of any mechanical devices or expecting him to finger me AND fuck me. I want him to be able to concentrate on his own orgasm as I take care of mine. With any luck and practice, hopefully I'll learn to get off as fast as he does and we can come together. I would just love that.
     
  8. Northside

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    This comment may be a little off topic but I think it addresses the real issue here. One position I use a lot is a variation of missionary where I am inside her but with me straddling one of her legs, usually her left. If I ride her a little high I seem to give enough clitoral stimulation for her to cum (clitorally?). They always seem love this position, I've been doing this for years, and they always seem to get off.
     
  9. Nomad88

    Nomad88 New Member

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    :) Good call, NS. One of my faves actually for that exact reason!:naughtydance
     
  10. sinfinity

    sinfinity New Member

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    - Claps.-
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Thank you for explaining that, Northside. May I ask how long you usually go for before your parnter orgasms in that position?
     
  12. HardRocker

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    Riding higher could be putting more pressure on her G spot too.
     
  13. Barbwire

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    My husband and I have tried different leg positions and pressure points to try to hit my clit but the problem is, he about orgasms the second my pussy clamps down on his cock when I start to get excited. If he moves at all, he's done.

    Basically, what I try to do with the vibe is, get really worked up and then have him enter me right before I orgasm. I then tell him to hold still and not pump at all while I vibe my clit to the point of exploding, then I have him start pumping.

    The trouble is, the toy is cumbersome and the noise can be distracting. That is why I want to use my fingers and why I'm so frustrated I can't get off using my own fingers when I'm being fucked.
     
  14. robyn_uk

    robyn_uk New Member

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    my last bf i used to let him get me all excited and then he would slip out and basically rub his cock over my clit as though we were actually having penatrive sex till i was about to orgasm then he would slip back in and bingo other wise id lend a hand
     
  15. Northside

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    You may ask me anything C.L. ;) It depends on the partner. I've been using this position since my early 20's so there have been a few gals. I'd say less than 2 minutes maybe, but I don't watch the clock. Some quicker some longer. If I get close to cumming too soon I stop for a while and think about other things. I once figured out a wiring harness for my Harley, that ran neatly through it's frame, while having sex and trying not to cum. She came more than once. As soon as things calm down I'm good for a while longer. Guys are weird huh?
     
  16. Barbwire

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    That's the thing, I would think that if you slowed down, so would the stimulation on your parnter's clit. So, that would slow her down as well. With me, if the action stops, it takes me forever to get back to the point of coming again.
     
  17. Northside

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    You don't have to stop completely, in that position your are still putting some pressure on her clit, and I can use a more circular motion to keep her going while I calm down. Stroking gets me off, I can go round and round all night or just use shorter strokes in a way that I don't rub my more sensitive spots. I guess it geometry, certain angles are less stimulating to me, so I can go a lot longer while still pleasing her. It's different every time too. Some nights I'm a marathon man, others I'm more of a 40 yard dash man.