touching myself during intercouse- no way !!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by paragon, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    hey there,
    I get right to the subject, although I am a bit embarrassed
    It is not easy to orgasm with my bf during intercourse. He asks me to help along by touching myself, for I do know best how to touch and finally reach climax.
    I don't do it because it feels so wrong. To me it is like masturbating in front of him - which I would not dare.
    In my opinion (I might be wrong here) when he is with me, inside me, an orgasm has to develop by him taking me there, no matter how!
    I read a lot about girls helping out here etc. I would like so much to get past my restrictions here and I would like to invite you all to share your thoughts and experiences, be it male or female.
    thanks in advance.
    paragon
     
  2. loveit247

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    That is a really unfair opinion on your side. You are responsible for your own orgasm, not him.
    How to get over it, I dunno, just try.
     
  3. Mephisto

    Mephisto New Member

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    Why don't you get him to touch you during sex, if he's not sure what to do just point him in the right direction
     
  4. Barbwire

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    Loveit is correct in saying that you are responsible for your own orgasm, but I know how hard it can be to feel comfortable touching yourself when having sex with your partner.

    I'm 43 now and it was only a few years ago that I finally broke through the barrier and started touching myself when my husband was with me. My situation was different than yours in that I asked my husband if it was OK to touch myself and if he minded, he did not ask me to do it like your b/f asked you to do it.

    I never did it before because I felt that it was wrong and kind of dirty to stimulate myself in front of him, but it would drive me crazy when he was doing something, like pinching one breast while sucking the other, and I knew if I could just finger my clit, I'd have a fantastic orgasm. I'd end up frustrated and make him stop what he was doing so he could finger me.

    It was during just such an occasion that I asked him if I could touch myself and he said, "Yes, of course, honey." I said, "You wouldn't mind?" He said, "No, it would be hot!"

    Knowing that it would turn him on if I touched myself made all the difference in the world and I haven't looked back since. My only regret is that I waited so many years to get the nerve up to do it. I feel that I've cheated both myself and my partners out of better sex.

    If you know your boyfriend wants you to do it and you NEED to do it, take a deep breath and go for it, girl! Both of you will have better sex for it, I promise.

    Oh, one more thing I want to add, the key to great sex is saying, "maybe" or "yes" instead of saying "no way!"
     
    #4 Barbwire, Mar 23, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2009
  5. Dreama

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    Great post, CL! Take her advice, she knows what she is talking about.
     
  6. evman

    evman New Member

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    Having a women touch herself is a great turn on for most men. My wife does it all the time and I love it. There is nothing wrong with it. If something feels good and it adds to the sexual experience then what's the problem? You should learn to let go and experiment a little.
     
  7. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    Re: touching myself during intercourse- no way !!

    :) thanks everybody for your thoughts and opinions. :)
    Especially to CowboyLover, thank you very much for sharing your experience. It still does not feel 100% right to me, but I think I am on my way, for I do not hear this "no way" in my ears anymore, it has turned into a "not yet". Last night I was tempted to try, - something kept me, but we had a great experience all the same. I think I have to get rid of all the old pictures and thoughts about me touching myself while he is watching. I still do not know how and when it is going to happen, but I am very curious now. Any ideas how to overcome this hurdle?
    again - thanks a lot
    take care
    paragon
     
  8. Treadly

    Treadly New Member

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    Maybe try a position where he can touch you as well as engage in intercourse. Then you can start off slowly by guiding his hand. I find lying side-on with the girls leg high up above your hip is good for simultaneous manual stimulation and intercourse. Try it out, then move his hand toward you, see how it goes.
     
  9. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    I think CL has given a wonderful reply for you to work off.

    I will add though, as far as actually trying to feel more comfortable in doing it while you're with him, could you perhps try doing it in a position that he won't see you doing it at first?
    Like doggy for example. He's behind and you've got a free hand yet he won't actually be able to see you doing it.

    Start off slow, perhaps help him play with you? Put your hand on top of his?

    Good luck. xx
     
  10. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    thanks a lot missyhuggins, I do appreciate very much, the way you put your thoughts in writing, by making careful suggestions, but not giving me the feeling that you know it all etc.....
    I think doggy style is a very good position to start off. For -as you have pointed out-, he cannot see me doing it, and I really do not feel very comfy with this idea yet but growing more and more curious.
    let's see.
    thanks to all the other posters as well, for adding their thoughts and thus broadening my horizon
    have a good day
    paragon :)
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Darlin', drop your needless inhibitions and rub one out while he watches! As long as you're not hurting each other or overstepping any boundaries with each other, etc., there's nothing that two people can do with each other that is "wrong"...IMHO. Sex is adult playtime...it should be fun and playful for both of you! :dgrin

    Cheers,
    BD
     
  12. bassguy96

    bassguy96 New Member

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    my fiance has the same inhibition, she is embarrassed about touching herself in front of me or period maybe, she claims to never masturbate but I do not how see one can get through life without, it is very rare I can get her to even let me see her naked so certainly don't feel alone about not wanting to touch yourself while your with him
     
  13. LimeLight

    LimeLight New Member

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    Well I think you both have to have the same thoughts on sex for this to workout. My wife and I are worlds apart and the only thing that happens is I get no sex ever. Apparently I'm disgusting so my punishment is to never get sex ever again. That sounds fair. Let him find someone who likes what he likes if you don't like it.
     
  14. FlirtyChick

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    Hell, I touch myself by myself and during sex......What a turn on! Men love it, and you will too once you drop your inhibitions. It took me a while to drop mine, but now I am a sexual beastess! :)
     
  15. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    :) thanks for answering to my thread. Would you mind sharing how you have overcome your inhibitions? I would really like to give it a try - but don't know how and how to start. thanks again
    have fun
    paragon
     
  16. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    :) hey limelight,
    I feel very sorry for you not getting the sex you would like to get from and with your wife. In our case it is totally different. We do enjoy our mutual sex very much. It really feels great with him, be it: he inside me or I am sucking his d (the latter we do at least once a day - not always to the end though). He loves it very much and so do I.
    It is not that I cannot orgasm at all, it is just not possible in various positions that we like, and here it would come in handy that I could help out, as it seems. So to get this straight. We both like our sexlife very much and he does everything it needs for our encounters to be fun, relaxed, erotic and the works and so do I - except for the one thing at the moment, but as you can clearly read, I am working at it and I feel I really want it to happen, because I think there is a lot for us in store there.
    And right here I want to thank all the users who try and be of help to me. Great that you are around.
    I am very glad to be with my b/f and that in respect to sex we are not worlds apart - on the contrary, we are very close and we can try out what ever I or he likes.
    It is a great pity that you do not have the same luck - and apparently your wife not either. One question: Are you really not getting any sex anymore???
    fond regards
    paragon
     
  17. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    :) hey bassdude,
    thanks for posting.
    I am very curious and in need of a male opinion as of how to "drop my needless inhibitions". It is not that I don't know what to do with my hand, it is my brain that stops it from going there. any advice??
    thanks a lot in advance
    best wishes paragon
     
  18. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    :) hey evman,
    thanks for your interest and answer.
    I you had any idea how to: "learn and let go" I would very much appreciate it, for I know that the biggest problem is in my head at the moment. I just cannot get myself to move my hand there, although I know by now (thanks to you all), it would be alright, would add to the fun, would turn him on etc.
    any advice???
    thanks a million
    enjoy your day
    paragon
     
  19. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    I'm thinking that you're best bet on easing in to this would be to play with you, with him. How do you feel about putting your hand over his? You never know, he may encourage you to continue with your hand/fingers there?
     
  20. FlirtyChick

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    Well, I had encouragement from my husband. I was shy at first....but once i saw how much it turned him on it turned me on, and I went from there. Just think of it as another form of foreplay. Let him loosen you up a little. Touch his hand while he touches you. Once you get warmed up, let him pull his hand away and then take it from there. I would recommend trying it on your own with a mirror. Once you see how hot you look doing it, you may be surprised. During intercourse your clit doesnt get as much stimulation, so when you help it along you will find that you have better orgasms.....