Torn on what to do about Valentines Day

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ccjcool, Feb 7, 2008.

  1. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    Ok, so this one isnt sex related, but it is relationship stuff, so i put it here...


    I just started a new relationship (and its going quite well, both in and out of the bedroom), but what do you do when the worlds biggest hallmark holiday strikes right as you begin the relationship...Weve barely been going out for a month now, and I dont think either one of us wants to make a big fuss about it. Granted, there will be the traditional 3 items of card, roses, and chocolates, but beyond that...I'm completely lost. I'm half way thinking that even the stuff i mentioned above might be pushing it for such a new relationship. I want to ask her what she wants to do, but at the same time, she has made no hints whatsoever about even going out for valentines, and shes the type that will say "whatever you want to do" and not give me a straight answer. Now common sense tells me that she does expect SOMETHING to happen on that day, and I don't want to disappont... But the newness of this relationship puts, at least in my mind, such large constraints on what is acceptable and what is overkill. I hope you understand my rambling...
     
  2. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    It...

    ...is traditional and normal to give flowers and chocolate and take her to dinner in a committed relationship. None of those are weird or creepy or overkill in a one month old relationship, in my view. Whether she actually likes any of that stuff is besides the point right now, especially if there are no hints or conversation from her as to the subject. Right now, it's the thought that counts. If the relationship goes on, over time you will learn her likes and dislikes, what she appreciates, what she doesn't.

    So, my only question is if she views the relationship as committed and going well. If so, carry on.
     
  3. cook74

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    I tend to agree with LP there. There is no harm in doing something like that. In fact that is something you can do on any given day.

    When I was younger I asked a girl out on Valentines day by bringing flowers to her work, we went out for a lovely meal that night and then had a two year relationship (which could have lasted, but I was too much of a slut in my younger days:eyes)

    I reckon GO FOR IT, and do something nice and a little romantic.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Cook said
    Thats the way it should be, If She is a Woman
    She will appreciate it.

    Hiker
     
  5. Barbwire

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    Valentines day is one of the most bullshitty holidays I can think of. It ranks right up there with Columbus Day and Presidents Day. Its a bogus holiday invented to make money for Hallmark, Russel Stover and rose growers. Its a shame that people buy into it hook, line, and sinker every year.

    Do we really need a special day to celebrate love? Can't we just strive to spread more of it around on a daily basis?

    (and yeah, I know bullshitty isn't a word)
     
  6. heelfetish

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    I agree CL, but we still celebrate it every year. Despite it's origins, it's still nice to have one special day where romance is key, eroticism is encouraged, and there's even a good chance my wife mght wear something sexy to bed. :brow
     
  7. cook74

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    I am a cynic when it comes to these kind of things too, but I have also found that if it makes my partner feel good then it is worth celebrating the day.

    For instance...I come from a non-religious background, but when my partner wants me to have fish for dinner on Ash Wednesday or during Easter I oblige.

    It is no skin off my nose to do so and it makes her feel better, so for that I am willing to forgo my cynicism and just go with what makes her feel happy.

    And although I wont enter a Church for fear of being burnt at the threshold, I will celebrate her family's religious holidays with them. Which to me (not being a religious man) are just as contrived as Valentines day.
     
  8. Bluesy

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    *snort* I'm sorry, are you dating a woman? Yes, she expects some fuss, and regular "fuss" helps to keep the wheels of a relationship turning smoothly. You don't know her very well at this stage of the game, so don't feel obligated to wow her. A romantic candlelight dinner, some flowers and/or chocolate (I highly recommend Godiva), and have a few sweet sentiments in mind to drop like woo bombs at opportune moments.

    Cards...meh. I'm not really one for pre-fabricated sentiment.
     
  9. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    But you're OK with Woo Bombs which, by definition, must be assembled before hand???

    :lol
     
  10. Dreama

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    Watch a romantic movie together, eat some good dark chocolate (if that is your cup of tea) and let her know she's special. I'm sure she would not mind it if you made a bit of a fuss. :)
     
  11. Barbwire

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    OK, so, I read my earlier reply, and I fear I may have come off a wee bit harsh on VD. Let me try again, on a more positive note.

    Here is something the OP may try that is terribly sexy, wonderfully tender, and, best of all, FREE.

    Hon, write your lady a little "love story", then print it out and give it to her to read as you make dinner. Give her time to relax and read it when you are not in the room. I forgot to mention, leave the television off, music is good, though. Bring her a glass of wine, as a nice touch, and leave the room.

    Just stay away from her until your words sink in. Give her time to read it as she slowly sips the wine. Pretty soon, things will stir within her, and she will want to get off that couch and seek you out. When she comes to you, bleary-eyed and horny, let nature takes its course.

    Trust me on this, bro. it works like a charm. I do it to my hubby all the time. ;)

    PS: If you get writer's block, PM me. I'm sure there's something I can do to you, er, I mean, say to you, to help you out. (winka, winka)
     
  12. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    lol, CL. If only I had your skills as a writer ;) Actually I think Dreama hit it dead on with her suggestion. Something simple, not over the top, and something I know both of us would enjoy.

    @ Bluesy: I said big fuss. I didnt say NO fuss ;)
     
  13. Bluesy

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    Gotcha ;) And I don't blame you one bit for liking Miss Dreama's cool not-too-fussy-but-just-fussy-enough suggestion. The dark chocolate is heart healthy, too :tup

    Ah, but my dear LP, the woo bomb comes from the heart...it's just not exactly spontaneous (though, ideally, it would seem that way!). Sometimes artful seduction requires a bit of foreplanning, no? :brow
     
  14. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Dude...you've been dating her for a month, and you like her right? Sweep her off her feet. What can it hurt? It's a heckuva lot better to overdo it than underdo it, especially since you don't know what her expectations are. She may not be giving you any hints because she wants to see what you come up with...don't disappoint her! Make it memorable...:brow...that's my vote.

    I like CL's idea about writing a little story for her...very cool. You could augment or change that a little bit too...break the story up into a bunch of different pages and hide the pages around your/her home with a hint at the end of each page to help her find the next. Or you could make it one big poem with each phrase on a different page and hinted/hidden. Or you could make up a sex game with parts of it hidden around the house. I did this hint/hide thing a couple times for my wife's birthday, and the search is quite fun!

    BD
     
  15. Dreama

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    I wrote dark chocolate because it's the only chocolate I can have....Real dark chocolate has no milk. :) And, it is very healthy, and delicious!!
     
  16. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    At least it's real.
    Try the word real for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Hiker
     
  17. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    Hey man i totally am in the same boat. Like its hard even if you want to do something because you dont want to go too big. But at the same time you dont want to do too much. And like you she hasn't even mentioned it. But i know she thinks about it as like 3 weeks ago i asked her when it was and she knew the exact day (thursday) and how many thursdays it was before it was here. So hell i dont know how much i should put into it either.

    My thought was i wanted to get her nothing really big but something maybe a little memorable and was thinking ehh maybe a nice cheap necklace around 100 dollars. But that seems like overkill for such a short time. So im thinking...a nice box of chocolates not anything SUPER expensive but around the 25 dollar mark. Because she has actually mentioned and prolly the only hint when we were at wal-mart that "chocolates like that are her weakness" and maybe a nice dinner at a casual resteraunt like chilis or Applebees or something. And that idea is sounding good to me and will be about 50 dollars when all is said and done and also doesnt seem too far out there.


    I hate flowers though ugh dont get it. They just die.
     
  18. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    But remember: one gives a gift that one's SO will enjoy, regardless of whether you understand her attraction to such a thing. ;)

    I definitely think her mentioning the chocolates was a 'hint' - so I suggest doing that for sure. And the casual dinner is a wonderful idea. It keeps everything relaxed and informal. Going to a swanky restaurant, if it's not your usual forte' can prove to be disasterous. Keep it special, but natural. :tup
     
  19. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    lol....well...i brought up valentines day to her, and she says she hates valentines day..:eyes. I suppose that explains the lack of hints. Now I really dont know what to do, because Ive always been one to do SOMETHING for my gf on valentines day, even with the knowledge of how cheesy and rediculous the entire "holiday" is...
     
  20. Bluesy

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    Then go with Dreama's lovely understated V-Day agenda. I'll bet she'd at least appreciate a movie and chocolate :)

    I hear ya. I much prefer to see them outside, in their natural habitat. Call me strange, but I think there's something mildly homicidal about cutting them off at the stem and stuffing them into a restrictive container where they die a gradual and unnatural death. I like to see the little suckers thriving in the wilderness.