Too submissive?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Sanga, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. Sanga

    Sanga New Member

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    I was wondering about this but... recently I've had a somewhat disturbing fantasy. I haven't told my fiance about this cause I thought it would weird even HIM out. You see, I've always been really submissive in sex but this... it's different... You see, I want him to put a leash on me and walk me like a dog. Be his little bitch... Do any of you think that's... OVERLY weird/submissive? I was a little worried something might be wrong with me. I've tried this online in cybersex, and more often than not the other people think it's really weird, and the majority of them leave. Am I being TOO submissive? I've had other ideas similar to this as well.
     
  2. hiiro

    hiiro New Member

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    I don't think that it is weird at all. We all have our own sexual fetishes. I'm male and I have similar fetishes such as that, being forced to wear female clothing etc. Telling your SO about it though is another story. If he really cares for you he won't mind. Otherwise, perhaps try to slowly bring that idea to him?
     
  3. Dreama

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    It isn't weird as long as you're not hurting anyone, and you aren't. If that's what you'd like, perhaps talk to him about it. He might think it's as hot as you do :) .
     
  4. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Nothing is wrong with you but it is weird and in a way that's the whole point. Also what you've described is extreme enough that it's going to affect your relationship. Has your fiance given any hint that he would be interested in doing something like this?.

    A lot of men wouldn't be able to perform what you're describing. Others while they'd be willing to do it wouldn't be able to detach themselves emotionally and intellectually from the act. In otherwards they might not be able to keep what happens in the bedroom 'in the bedroom' and just accept it as part of sex with no other meaning.

    I have done things in my life that are on a par with what you're describing. For my part as my tastes evolved I was able to partner with guys that were like minded, men that could perform certain sexual acts and still have a normal relationship with me.Actually one interesting side effect of having rather extreme sexual tastes is that you don't go in for one night stands and tend to have long term relationships.

    You're quite young you're engaged and making a request like this of your so could seriously fuck up your relationship so think long and hard. If you do want to go ahead find your SO's limit start with some rough play or getting your SO to tie you up and see how he reacts to it.

    Anywho good luck
     
    #4 sarah_rslp, Mar 23, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2008
  5. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    Do what makes you happy

    Hell no its not weird and it will not effect your relationship.The best thing you can do is be truthful up-front so he knows what you like and can either accept it or not.I have scene many couples act out all kind of fantasies that have been married for years then they go home and are the strict parents again.I have scene both women and men being lead around by their partners with with collars on their necks at swingers clubs.
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    I don't think what you desire is weird, I think that it is a fetish and its perfectly ok. I don't think that talking to your fiance about it will hurt anything. From most of your posts it seems like you two are pretty wild sexually already. ( If I am misreading please call me on it) If he wants to do it, fine, if he does not, fine. If you trust and love him enough to be engaged to him then you know him well enough to know if he will turn into a controlling ego-maniac just because you get off being led around on a leash every now and then. Just talk to him hon. If he is not for it, find a middle ground that he is comfortable with and that satisfies your desire. Perhaps you can find some video clips to share with him after you talk. Maybe it will arouse him too. Let us know how this turns out...
     
  7. evman

    evman New Member

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    What you like is not what most people like but that doesn't mean that it's wrong. It's just what you like. Now for me, if my wife wanted that, it wouldn't do anything for me. I would give it a try if she wanted me to but it's not something that I'd suggest. If my wife got very aroused by it, that in turn might arouse me as I enjoy seeing her turned on. I knew a girl once that wanted to dominate me. Order me to lick her toes and stuff like that. It wasn't something that I was into but never having tried it I gave it a shot. It did nothing for me at all.

    The people that think it's weird are obviously not people that are into it. There are men that would get off on that I'm sure. You just have to find them. You may want to ease into it with your bf. Start off easy and see how it goes. Little by little go further until you reach either your or his limit.

    Good luck
     
  8. Sanga

    Sanga New Member

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    Hmm, okay, I'll just bring the question right up and say he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. But if he does I'm gonna have a kickass time of it! Especially if I'm in public XD. (With clothes on of course but maybe wearing my dildo harness thingy underneath *drools*)
     
  9. FlirtyChick

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    Good for you Sanga! I admire you because you know what you want and go for it!

    ((Claps and woo hoos wildly))
     
  10. evman

    evman New Member

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    I agree. It's good that you aren't afraid to do the things that turn you on.

    You may not want to drop the whole thing on him at once about the leash and all. Maybe start off telling him you want to be his sex slave in bed and have him command you to do whatever he wants. See how he reacts to that. Tell him how much it turned you on and then ask him how he felt about it. If he really likes being in control then ask him what else he would like you to do. You can then say that you are willing to be totally at his command. Maybe even joke about the collar just to see how he reacts. The collar thing wouldn't work for me but being in total control from time to time would be a turn on. Of course there are times I want my wife to take control though not to the level that you speak of.

    Have fun and keep us posted.
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Sanga, if you do it in public, show some common courtesy for people, ok? Two years ago, we took our 8 year old son to a Renassiance faire about a 3 hour drive from our house. We were all very excited on the drive there, having had gone to it the previous 2 years. My son was over the top thrilled and was chattering about getting another dragon for his collection.

    Anyways, we got there and pulled into a parking spot. As we got out, another car pulled up beside us and out got the most disgusting couple I have ever seen. Some nasty goth guy in a cape and makeup and his "bitch". I won't go into details about what she had on, but one thing was a studded collar. The guy snapped a leash to it and pulled her to the front gates.

    My son was wide-eyed and asking questions. My husband and I were furious. We just pulled him back into the car and drove back home. Ruined the whole trip for us.

    Really, I think that sort of thing should be done in the privacy of your own home.
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Hey Sanga. Well, I don't think this would really do anything for me (unless it got my partner REALLY turned on, then I'd probably like it), but I'm sure there are folks who would love it. As long as you're not hurting yourself, your partner, or anyone else, what the heck...go for it. I think my wife and I have found that dropping some of our own individual unnecessary inhibitions has been a good thing for us.

    BD
     
  13. Joe

    Joe
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    That reminds me of a couple we saw at the Sturgis Bike Rally a few years ago, except that it was the Biker Chick who had her Biker Dude on a chain, complete with the studded collar, except the chain was clamped to his nipple ring. The surprising part was after they walked past us. He was wearing chaps with only a g-string "covering" his droopy ass. He was probably 60 -- about 59 years too old to have a cute ass.
     
  14. FlirtyChick

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    That's nasty!
     
  15. Sanga

    Sanga New Member

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    Well of course I won't go THAT far! I'd like doing it in public but I wouldn't do something like that. No STUDDED collar definately, and probably normal clothes as opposed to whatever that woman was wearing. I like the idea of doing stuff like this in public but I'm never inconsiderate of children and people who wouldn't like it. Maybe a walk through the woods as opposed to a Renassiance fair.
     
  16. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

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    i'm exactly like you, i have them fantasys too but i told my (at time) boyfriend about them and he found it fasinating. and when we got round to do it, we both LOVED it. it lead to absolute outstanding sex, and i can still remember it 15 years later. i only did it once and it was a relief as i told him and he understood and liked the idea aswell.
     
  17. Kanto

    Kanto Member

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    Being collared, leashed, and led combines a number of different fetish/fantasy types of activities in a relatively sensual manner. First would be the collar which, if you get the right one, provides stimulation to the neck. The neck is an often neglected erogenous zone.

    You didn't mention if you wanted to walk on your hands and knees, which can be a little rough even on a nice carpet. However, doing so adds the kneeling fetish, which accentuates the activity as submissive. It also upturns the buttocks in a manner that is probably very visually appealing to your dom.

    Lastly, is being led. Unlike normal commands, having a collar and leash provides your dom the means to immediately correct you if you don't obey his commands. He can tug on the leash. This suggests that you don't just like to be commanded, but also controlled in some way. And there's nothing wrong with that in a responsible and loving setting.

    Perhaps if you explained it to your fiance that you want to provide him a way to stimulate you, as well as a way for him to playfully control you in a manner that you'd enjoy. Just be prepared, while he has you by a leash he might invent ways to command you that you might not expect. Its your fantasy to be led by a leash, but you need to fulfill his fantasies as well. He may develop a fantasy while he has you under his control.