[Ask a Guy] Too much work?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by rileyjane, Feb 9, 2014.

  1. rileyjane

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    :rolleyes: Guys, I have a question for you, is it a lot of work or too much work having foreplay to get your lady ready for sex? I am fairly certain that for you guys, you can be ready at a moments notice...... Just curious......
     
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  2. HotForHoney

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    It used to take exh a lot to get me in the mood. I think it stemmed from not having a good relationship outside of the bedroom.
     
  3. rileyjane

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    Hotforhoney, that makes perfect sense.... If the husband and I are not getting along, there is no sex, I just can't do it...
     
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  4. Anotherday

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    No, it's not work at all.
     
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  5. HotForHoney

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    I think it depends on why you are doing the foreplay - to get her on the mood or as part of sex.
     
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  6. rileyjane

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    :( I was asking mainly to get her in the mood.
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    A bit of role reversal with us; she is always in the mood regardless, whereas I have to get into that space first.
    Sometimes it is like hand cranking a rusty old engine but other times it is electric start at the first turn of the ignition key so it depends on what is going on in between the ears. o_O
    This could be the age difference thing but I doubt it as was married for 34 years and in the last 17 that one was never in the mood. It used to take spending lots of money to get her in one. :(
     
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  8. biker061

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    Isn't foreplay part of sex? Not work at all, and as a couple old fuckers sometimes the foreplay can take as long and be as much fun as the 'sex'!
     
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  9. CaramelLady

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    I agree with biker061. Foreplay is part of sex. It is not always necessary. Sometimes the two parties are good to go so to speak. But sometimes the expression of affection, but touching, exploring, kissing, licking, sucking, is very pleasurable. Very ........
     
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  10. HotForHoney

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    I don't think the op meant fun, flirty foreplay but more trying to get SO to be active.
     
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  11. alwaystry

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    I don't think its work at all unless it is always like that. Once in a while a quickie is nice and the sudden " bang her over the kitchen counte with force " isnice also. However , I am in a situation where my girl really doesn't like foreplay and actually puts pressure on me.when she wants it I just have to be hard, doesn't always work like that.
     
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  12. CaramelLady

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    Poor baby.... a lady that is good to go... how many men would envy you.. LOL
     
  13. CaramelLady

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    There was a song by the Pointer Sisters that I liked that sums up what I enjoy as far as foreplay... I wanna man with a Slow hand......

     
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  14. JonJo

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    Can you have foreplay as 'work' to get her in the mood?
    Surely if you do that then you are in a way pressuring her to match your mood.
    If you mean getting her ready, when she agreeable to being 'got ready', then that is all part of the sex, as enjoyable in its way as any other part.
    The moment she gives every indication that she is in the mood should and does indicate that you've 'done a good job' and you can both go on to reap the benefits of your 'efforts'.
    Not true, sometimes a man needs to be got in the mood BUT you ladies have plenty of ways of doing it.

    The worse thing possible in a relationship is 'duty sex'; he/she wants it so I suppose we'd better have it. No thanks.
     
  15. somhairle

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    I agree with jonjo. I think it is a myth that men are constantly ready for it. Probably because we perpetuate this myth ourselves on sites such as these. However, foreplay is important to us. For me, it is more important as I think the touching, exploring, fingering part of sex is so enjoyable. There is a submissive element to this which is sooooo great. However, this requires a female to be relaxed and comfortable enough to allow herself to be 'explored' intimately.
     
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  16. EnglishDad

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    I love foreplay , and after-play and during play and well i just love mostly all aspects of sex.
    Dont take much to get my partner wet and up for sex, bonus for me
     
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  17. minskminx

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    You can't make a meal without preparing the ingredients!
     
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  18. JonJo

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    Its a strange but enjoyable kind of meal because you can 'eat' the ingredients while preparing it and 'stir the pot' while having it.
     
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  19. rileyjane

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    Lol!
     
  20. Toys For Straight Men

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    Men and women are (on average) on different levels of arousal, and most commonly women are at the lower level of arousal. The reason why men are at a higher level of arousal is due to hormones. So this fact that women need foreplay while men don't is purely biological and absolutely normal. There are two ways for a woman to reach the same arousal level as a man - masturbation or foreplay. I have no problem with extended foreplay, even if it means that I lose some of my arousal (it can be regained quickly).

    But getting turned on as a women requires much more being in a right mental state (otherwise the buildup can easily come crashing down to a zero-level arousal). Hot For Honey is absolutely right that mental blocks can be built by poor situations outside the bedroom.