Too lazy to start sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by dino987, May 1, 2012.

  1. dino987

    dino987 New Member

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    Hello all.

    Now the title is not about myself, more my partner. She is nearly 19 and I am nearly 21. We have recently discussed our sexual relationship and it is obvious that I would like it more often (like we used to) and she also wants too. Problem is she explained that once we were "getting jiggy" that it was good and had no trouble engaging...just that she felt too "lazy" sometimes to actually start or make a move. And that theres always an excuse she can think of such as someone else in the house or having to shower.

    Personally I think it went slightly off the rail a few months after going on the implant. I really could do it everyday but we only really do it once a week and sometimes that just because I persist at trying to get her revved up. I am perfectly happy but if she wants to and I want to (have it more) then I'm inclined to try and help :)

    Any ideas or thoughts?
    Thanks
     
  2. Berend

    Berend New Member

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    Please define "on the implant"
     
  3. dino987

    dino987 New Member

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    Sorry, I meat contraceptive implant
     
  4. Berend

    Berend New Member

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    It might be a response to being put on this contraceptive implant. Have you asked her if sex is uncomfortable since the implant? Also, these devices are often infused with hormones, and perhaps she is having a negative effect from them. If I were you, I would talk to her about these possibilities, and perhaps she should talk to her doctor about this as well.
     
  5. dino987

    dino987 New Member

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    I have asked if perhaps its making her less interested due to hormones etc. and she doesn't know. It didn't suddenly start soon as she went on the implant, but its the only thing I can guess at.

    She did say it sometimes hurt but only after a longish session. It just seems to be the initial interest which is the problem. Like no drive, but happy if/once it happens
     
  6. thunderseed

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    Birth controls can cause loss of sex drive, and if it becomes a problem a contraceptive implant can be taken out sooner than the 3 years recommended time by a specially trained doctor or nurse, it only takes a few minutes to remove it. It may be that a different form of birth control would work better for her.
    Of course it is up to her. They also usually recommend you to wait a specific amount of time to see if any side effects will go away in time.

    In the meantime it sounds like you can work with it, as she still has a sex drive once it happens, it's just the initial getting into it that is the problem.
     
  7. routabout

    routabout New Member

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    Ok a subject I can relate to and actually advise on.

    After the birth of our second child my wife went onto the contraceptive injection.

    Since then her sex drive reduced dramatically to the point where she wanted sex but found it hard to get up for it, she also struggled to find the concentration to masturbate.

    About a month or so ago she decided that she was going to come off contraception (I now where condoms) to see how it effects her.

    Happily her sex drive is gradually increasing.

    You have to seriously consider letting her come off contraception and you wear condoms for a while to let her body settle.

    Sadly I don't think there is a "perfect" scenario here, either you wear condoms or she suffers with a lack of sex drive.

    Maybe they could try her on different types of contraception but it all depends on how she feels about that. After all it is her choice.

    All forms of contraception have their side effects.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    One of the most reliable forms of contraception and much better than condoms (hopelessly unreliable) is an IUD. No hormones and the feeling of natural sex for both partners. IUDs of various types have been around since the 1870s.
     
  9. thunderseed

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    Oh I just went to see a vaginacologist about those LoL :D He was a gay man, but anyways I was asking him about IUD's because I was thinking about changing my method of birth control. Those things look scary as hell! They are in the shape of a T, and the end of them are as big as pen ink containers. Apparently the surgery hurts quite a bit, I wasn't too into that.
    They are a good method of birth control though, and apparently they do not have any symptoms of weight gain like some do. The only thing he advised against was that IUD's were only favourable if the woman had been pregnant before, because apparently it can be quite painful to have it in place for women who have never been pregnant, and they last up to 3 years.
    He advised me to stay on Depo since it has been working amazingly for me personally and also because I have never been pregnant before and he did not want to risk the chance of it causing pain.

    There is also a newer IUD out that works similar to Depo Provera in that it stops menstrual cycles which is a plus in my books. But the original IUD actually makes menstrual flows heavier, which is not something I ever want to endure.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    I rediscovered IUDs when I was researching my novel set in 1879 through 1880. Then they were called pessaries and blocked the uterine opening but also had prongs inside to prevent conception. They were popular and reasonably effective in the days prior to vulcanised rubber condoms.

    By and large hormonal birth control is easier and doesn't cause too many problems with most women, but if problems do surface then it's worth looking at an IUD. Condoms can and do fail, and they do mask the delightful feelings of skin against skin for men and for women. Different individuals had different tolerances to pain, so pain on insertion for some can be less of an issue.
     
  11. China

    China New Member

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    I have a non hormonal IUD its a V not T. Insertion was quick and painless. No loss in sex drive resulting. Only side effect was heavier periods for a few months.

    Highly recommend IUD :cool