Today i effed up

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Mittimer, Aug 11, 2016.

  1. Mittimer

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    Today (well technically last night) I majorly fucked up. I hope you guys get a laugh.

    Hubby and I are making pepper extracts. We have two of the world's hottest peppers that we've mixed to turn into an extract. The alcohol is currently evaporating in the jar on the kitchen table that we weigh every day. I was weighing it before bed last night and noticed that the outer rim of the jar was a bit sticky. I didn't think much of it, but washed my hands well and went to bed.

    Fast forward a couple hours and I'm feeling frisky. I wake up the hubby and roll him over for some naughty fun. Oh yeah, you know where this story is going. About 30 seconds into fun, after I'd dipped my fingers inside myself and all across my pussy...the tingles started. I didn't think too much of it until a few moments later of vigorous clit rubbing that my poor kitty started to burn like unholy fire.

    Now, any normal person would run and try to wash themselves but I laughed, cringed, told my hubby not to fuck me out of fear of spicing up his member. I continued to rub myself, feeling the tingle move to burn move to hell fire move back to tingle. Lady goo does strange things.

    In the maybe 10 minutes it took me to cum, my poor pussy puffed up into a fluffy little baloon. My inner labia were swollen and tender. There was still a little burn to my girl. When she wasn't being touched it was a little better. I finished my guy off with my non tainted hand and went to the rest room to try and clean myself.

    PSA PEOPLE, MASSIVE PSA: Do NOT under any circumstances use BABY WIPES on a pepper tainted pussy. It took the tingle to a roaring fire from the depths of hell and had me pacing the apartment.

    It took everything I had not to cover my pussy in sour cream or greek yogurt to try and quiet the screaming flames from between my loins.

    Hubby was both sympathetic and amused by the situation. Between the laghs he told me to just "ride it out". I took some Tylenol and laid down for bed, fidgeting and tossing until I eventually passed out.

    Thankfully as of this afternoon I'm no longer "feeling the burn", if ya catch my drift. Lol

    Moral of the story? Always wear gloves when touching anything pepper based regardless of whether you think you'll need them or not.

    Fun fact, if you ever wanted to have a pussy so tight you can't get anything in, just dab some pepper in that area. Don't really do this, that's crazy. You're crazy if you do. Really, don't...just don't.

    Why don't you all share some "today I fucked ups" so we can laugh at your expense too!
     
  2. sandwich

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    This is my favorite part:

    "Now, any normal person would run and try to wash themselves but I laughed, cringed, told my hubby not to fuck me out of fear of spicing up his member."

    I about fell over at "spicing up his member". Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. Mittimer

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    Glad I could give you some amusement. :)
     
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  4. CLE32793

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    Oh wow, just wow, that was too funny! Thanks for sharing the laugh with us! :p
     
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  5. teamster145

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    This is better than the toy on the shelf. I love you Mitt. :)
     
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  6. Mittimer

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    I certainly maintain an interesting marriage and sex life. Lol <3
     
  7. phish

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    OMG that is funny.... :p
    :p:eek::eek::eek:

    Although could have been worse. could have been both of you.
     
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  8. MeganRocheTG

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    very true!
     
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  9. JackieTreehorn

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    That's Hall of Fame material! So funny.
    I don't want to be the first to try posting a story after that bit of gold.
     
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  10. Mittimer

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    I'm considerate, I didn't want him on fire too.
     
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  11. Sweetlysad

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    Well you centainly know how to heat things up in the bedroom ;) lol!
    Poor you!
     
  12. Meee

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    I'm strangely drawn to the idea of trying it.
     
  13. Mr.Coffee

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    That story was hot!

    :rolleyes:
     
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  14. Mittimer

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    If you do, dip like one finger, then wash your hands really really well.... then rub away lol. You will regret it but at least you'll know first hand my pain lol
     
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  15. BigB73

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    The idea of eating a spicy pussy sounds good though. I would have licked you clean ;)
     
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  16. lbushwalker

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    Necrophilic thread which I had not seen before but got from me an almighty LOL response.
    For once I fully appreciated a resuscitation so thank you to @BigB73
    @Mittimer if you still out there; thank you very belatedly.
    Wow, like wow, Pain & Pleasure; so close ;)
     
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  17. Mittimer

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    This is new, crazy man! I posted this yesterday. Just cause I'm not around too much doesn't mean I'm not actually here lol
     
  18. DayPlay3

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    Mittimer - Great story. We are peter fans too. I grow Thai peppers.

    So why didn't you just pour some Cream on your pussy to put out the fire?
     
  19. fbbg

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    Lol, at least you got a laugh out of it :p
     
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  20. Mittimer

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    Cause the idea of rubbing my vag in dairy products risking any sort of yeast infection wasn't wasn't worth it lol